Hello! I am in need of some outside opinions.
A bit of background - my name is [name_f]Danielle[/name_f] and I’m Hispanic. I love my name but a part of me wishes it was a bit more representative of my cultural background (like [name_f]Daniela[/name_f]). [name_f]My[/name_f] husband is caucasian (Irish and Polish background), so our kids will get his Polish last name and might not even look Hispanic so it’s really important to me/us that their first name is Spanish/Latino (or at the very least sounds ok in Spanish).
I have always loved the name [name_f]Elena[/name_f] (pronounced in Spanish “eh LEN ah”, not “eh LAY nah”). [name_f]Every[/name_f] time i see it and hear it my senses perk up (if that makes sense). [name_f]My[/name_f] husband likes the name too.
For a middle name we would go with [name_f]Isabel[/name_f] because it was both my maternal and paternal grandmothers’ middle name, as well as my mother’s middle name. They’re the strongest women I know so I really want to honor them with that middle name.
We’re in our 1st trimester (and by we I really mean me haha - hello morning sickness) discussing potential names and my husband suggested the name [name_f]Helena[/name_f] because his late grandmother’s name was [name_f]Helen[/name_f]. Now, in Spanish and [name_u]French[/name_u] (at least) the name [name_f]Helena[/name_f] is pronounced with a silent H (so “eh LEN ah” like the name i’ve always loved), so basically I’d still get my wish of the name I want, just with a slightly different spelling and it also honors a beautiful female ancestor. I love the idea of honoring loved ones, but I am not fully on board for a few reasons:
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Is she going to hate us for giving her a name with a silent “H” and having to explain that for the rest of her life?
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I feel like a part of me is giving up the beautiful spelling of [name_f]Elena[/name_f] I had my heart set on.
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A bit more selfishly (and gosh does this sound horrible but i’m being honest. please don’t judge. i really mean no harm) - I never met that grandmother of his and while I’m sure she’s absolutely amazing, it feels like it would be like honoring her more than my 2 grandmothers and mother because it’s the first name and not the middle like [name_f]Isabel[/name_f]? Plus, she already gets his last name (I didn’t take his last name) and I’m the one that is carrying her, growing her and will birth her. This is the least of the issues though - I can easily get over this but thought i’d throw that out there to give everyone a full picture.
After reading other forums on this topic I realized that because we want the name pronounced “eh LEN ah” and not “eh LAY nah” she will have to explain her name regardless of the silent H or not, so does that really matter anyways? Plus, the two names mean the same thing - I think it’s basically the same name just different language/cultural origins.
I’m just afraid of naming her one way and then regretting it for the rest of my life.
Here is my pro/con list - would love an outsiders unbiased perspective:
[name_f]Elena[/name_f] Pros
- Always loved this name
- A bit more intuitive to pronounce “eh LEN ah”
[name_f]Elena[/name_f] Cons
- [name_m]Will[/name_m] still have to explain the correct pronunciation
- Seems more popular/common than [name_f]Helena[/name_f]
- I have a friend named this so I sometimes do think of her, which bothers me a bit
[name_f]Helena[/name_f] Pros
- Honors a loved one
- [name_m]Can[/name_m] be pronounced “eh LEN ah” like they do in Spanish and [name_u]French[/name_u] speaking countries
- Not as common/popular as [name_f]Elena[/name_f], but essentially the same name
- [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t really know anyone named this (there was one girl in college that I briefly met that had a thing for my ex-bf so there’s that, but perhaps I had her name wrong? That’s what I’m trying to tell myself at least lol)
[name_f]Helena[/name_f] Cons
- Silent H might be a pain
- Not as intuitive to get to the right pronunciation as [name_f]Elena[/name_f]
- It’s not [name_f]Elena[/name_f] (spelling-wise)
Thoughts? I just don’t want to regret the name we end up with. Hopefully through this and over the next 7 months I’ll get clarity.