Respondents: 39 (This poll is closed)
I think this is more situational than anything else. You may cask him [name_m]Ned[/name_m] and it’ll stick and he’ll correct anyone who calls him [name_m]Eddie[/name_m] or [name_m]Ed[/name_m]. But he may hear [name_m]Eddie[/name_m] for the first time and feel it fits and he’ll prefer it. Really the only thing you can control is what you call him, and to a lesser degree, what your spouse and immediate family call him.
I didn’t vote because none of the answers fit quite right.
We have an [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] who get’s called [name_f]Missy[/name_f]/Miss E and no one calls her any of the usual [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] nn’s, so yes I think you can controll it to some extent. Once your child is a bit older though and goes to school etc. they might like the other nn. So far [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] has corrected people if they call her [name_f]Lizzie[/name_f], which only happens when we meet new people, but if she wants to be [name_f]Lizzie[/name_f] when she’s older that’s her choice.
I think you can set [name_m]Ned[/name_m] as his default nickname, but I wouldn’t be surprised if people occasionally called him [name_m]Ed[/name_m] or [name_m]Eddie[/name_m].
I mean, I wouldn’t blink at someone saying “This is [name_m]Alexander[/name_m], we’re calling him [name_u]Sasha[/name_u],” but that’s partly because I’m familiar with [name_u]Sasha[/name_u] as a nn for [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] even if it is unusual by-and-large. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear someone call little [name_u]Sasha[/name_u] “[name_m]Alexander[/name_m]” or “[name_u]Alex[/name_u]” from time to time, but I wouldn’t expect to ever hear him called “[name_m]Xander[/name_m]” or “[name_m]Alexei[/name_m]” because those are more unusual.
I wouldn’t flip if someone did say [name_u]Alex[/name_u] or [name_m]Ed[/name_m], but you could always pause, look confused, and say, “Wha—? Oh! Sorry, yeah, we’re calling him [name_m]Ned[/name_m].”
When he’s a young child, I think you can somewhat control the nn options if your spouse is on board and if you exclusively use [name_m]Ned[/name_m]. If you tell his teachers that he’s called [name_m]Ned[/name_m], most people will probably use that. If, however, he goes by [name_m]Edmund[/name_m] at school, it’s quite possible someone will call him [name_m]Ed[/name_m] or [name_m]Eddie[/name_m] and it will stick. However, his name would be [name_m]Edmund[/name_m], and it’s his right to choose his own nickname when he’s older, and he may choose one you don’t like. You’d be taking a gamble if you choose a name where you hate two of the more obvious nicknames. I say this as someone who was called [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] all through childhood, but spontaneously decided on [name_f]Maggie[/name_f] at 19.
I wasn’t looking for specific advice with respect to [name_m]Edmund[/name_m] so much as looking for ideas regarding the general concept. [name_m]Ned[/name_m] isn’t the only name I have nn qualms about it:
I love [name_m]Cormac[/name_m] but absolutely don’t want a boy called [name_m]Mac[/name_m].
My husband really like [name_f]Florence[/name_f], but we hate nearly all the obvious nn.
I’ve noticed on several threads lately people discussing names whose nn they don’t like or names that have multiple nn. There was even one in which a woman described her husband as being adamantly against all nicknames and intending to ban them altogether!
It strikes me as an interesting quandary for people who believe names matter and am happy to have gotten several responses so far!
I think if there’s an obvious nickname you’re not going to avoid it. [name_m]Matt[/name_m] for [name_m]Matthew[/name_m] for example - no way. Less obvious things you can easily avoid. I would never assume I could call an [name_f]Eloise[/name_f] “Lo” without asking.
I named my daughter a name but intended to call her a nickname that never happened. It didn’t stick with anybody else and my husband and I ended up calling her [name_u]Boo[/name_u]. So my advice to people now is to name them a full name knowing that may be the only name that sticks! 
My two middle sons are named [name_m]Christian[/name_m] and [name_m]Christopher[/name_m]. [name_m]Both[/name_m] of these are family names. In fact, [name_m]Christian[/name_m] is also the name of my husband, his father, and several other grandfathers. My husband’s father already goes by “[name_u]Chris[/name_u],” so dh was always goes by [name_m]Christian[/name_m].
Because of the obvious confusion with having so many like-named family members, we elected to call DS#1 “[name_m]Christian[/name_m]” on his birth certificate, but use the last half “Tian” as the name we used to refer to him. (He even goes by this at school and writes it on his papers.) Because that solution worked so well, we went ahead and named DS#2 “[name_m]Christopher[/name_m]” after family members on my side and used “[name_m]Topher[/name_m]” as his name. So far so good, right? But then we ran into the snag of DS#1 not being able to pronounce “[name_m]Topher[/name_m]” and using the nn “Toto” instead. “Toto” sounded so cute on him as a baby that it just stuck. I am trying to switch him back to “[name_m]Topher[/name_m]” now that he is older, but he still thinks of himself as “Toto.”
So in response I would say that yes you can control the nn, but at the same time you can’t predict if an alternative will come up. Ultimately, it would be the child who will decide what nn, if any, that sticks.
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[FONT=[name_u]Arial[/name_u] Narrow][name_u]Lyric[/name_u] [name_f]Karoline[/name_f] [/FONT][name_m]Christian[/name_m] [name_m]Pearce[/name_m] [name_m]Christopher[/name_m] [name_m]Jack[/name_m] [name_m]Price[/name_m] [name_m]Daniel[/name_m]*
I think whilst they’re young, you can control what people call him, but once he gets older, it will become his choice what he prefers to be called. I really hate it when people assume I go by “[name_f]Soph[/name_f]” and call me that when I hardly know them, so personally, when I meet someone for the first time, I call them by their full name until they tell me otherwise what they prefer x
I agree with a lot of what has been said.
Can you make people call you kid whatever you want when they’re young? yes.
Can you make your kid dislike other nn’s? yes.
Can you control whether your kid will rebel and use a name you dislike? no.
Can you control every person you kid will ever come across and what nn’s they use and your kid’s response to them? no.
So, if you absolutely abhor a certain name–don’t give your kid a name that could lead to it.
I think in your case ([name_m]Edmund[/name_m]/[name_m]Ned[/name_m]), the answer is absolutely. Until he’s an teenager/adult and might decide he wants to be called something else.
Similarly, if a [name_f]Florence[/name_f] goes by [name_u]Ren[/name_u] and tells people that, I can’t imagine people would be so disrespectful to insist on [name_f]Flo[/name_f] instead. However I do think the more cutesy the nickname is, the less likely it is to stick. e.g. I personally feel that a [name_m]Christopher[/name_m] nicknamed [name_u]Kit[/name_u] is likely end up being called [name_u]Chris[/name_u] as he gets older.
I think if the nickname is “dated” its safer to use the name without worries about a disliked nickname. For example, we call we call my daughter [name_f]Katharine[/name_f] by her full name or [name_f]Kat[/name_f]. (Her baby brother calls her Katty. I really like [name_f]Kate[/name_f] and [name_u]Kit[/name_u] and if she chooses to switch to one of these I’m fine. I don’t care for [name_f]Kathy[/name_f] or Kath but I don’t think it would occur to anyone to use those nicknames.