Fertility Issues

[name_m]Hi[/name_m] everyone,

I’m posting this here because I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. Almost all of my friends have or are having babies and I think it makes them feel bad when I bring it up.

[name_u]Ever[/name_u] since puberty I have always had brown spotting days before my period. It went away with birth control. With my ex, I got pregnant, but miscarried at the 6 week mark. The doctor said it could possibly be from low progesterone, but they don’t do testing unless you have multiple miscarriages.

[name_f]My[/name_f] ex and I divorced.

It’s been 3 years since my miscarriage. I’m now 31. [name_f]My[/name_f] new partner and I don’t want to have kids for another 2ish years.

In [name_u]January[/name_u] I noticed that I was spotting after sex, and sex felt less comfortable. I went to my doctor, he did a pap, it came back fine. He said I seemed a little dry. He recommended I go off the pill and wait 3 months. I waited, the spotting continued. So I got an internal ultrasound. Everything looks perfect.

But the brown spotting before my period is happening. I’m temping and it looks like I’m ovulating. And I’m still spotting after sex.

[name_f]My[/name_f] doctor referred me to a gyno, but it will be months before my appointment and I feel like I’m going insane. I don’t want babies right now, but I’m terrified of being told that I can’t have them. I’m afraid that I have a low egg count and being told it’s too late. I’m trying not to google worst case scenarios, but frustration is building.

Does any one have any suggestions? Ways to ease the mind? Advice?


I’m very sorry that you’re going through this Autumn13. A lot of emotion and energy are spent while waiting for appointments, tests and opinions, and can only encourage you to give yourself a lot of self-love to stay grounded and as content as possible.

Obviously, when someone tells us “relax, don’t worry about it” we immediately feel extra anxiety and fear, because its twice the effort to feel fear and then to try and force ourselves to not be afraid. So by all means express your struggle and let us know what’s on your mind when difficult thoughts find you.

I’m sorry not to have a way to ease your mind. I think in times like this, the only thing that can ease a person’s mind is to have the answers and a clear-er path ahead. Let’s wait for that appointment one day at a time. You’re not alone.


You are still relatively young so have some time to work out the issues. Please remember that miscarriages are very common, and most people who have had a miscarriage go on to have a healthy baby. There are a small percentage who have issues which lead to reoccurring miscarriage, but this is certainly the minority of women.

Spotting before periods and after sex is also common. You’ve had a clear Pap test, so that is great news and a big worry out the way. It could be hormonal, as you mentioned, e.g. low progesterone. If you are under 35 years generally you will have had to been trying unsuccessfully for 12 months before you are referred to a fertility specialist and at 35 it’s 6 months before referral (not sure if this is the same in other countries). For most women fertility sharply declines at 37, that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to get pregnant at all, but it does mean it may be more difficult for you to conceive without assistance from a fertility specialist.

You can ask your Dr for an AMH test, which tests your ovarian reserve, if you are concerned about it. It’s just a simple blood test. It can be very stressful not knowing what the issue is, it might be a good idea while you are waiting for your appointment to write down a list of questions you want to ask the specialist in case you forget something on appointment day.

All the best

Thanks @pinkbar and @amj for the advice.

I woke up feeling better and telling myself that stressing over something out of my control is just worrying twice.
I am going to make an appointment to get my blood taken and check my egg reserve in the meantime, so i can have peace of mind that I’ve done something. But otherwise, I just have to keep living my life in the meantime.