I, too, have strong feelings on this topic. My mother intended to use [name]Nicki[/name] as my first name. Luckily, she gave in to my grandmother’s and aunt’s pleas for a formal name I could use as an adult. I don’t love [name]Nichole[/name], but I loathe [name]Nicki[/name] - which I was called almost exclusively as a kid. We fought about it - she’d introduce me to people as [name]Nicki[/name], I’d ask them to call me [name]Nichole[/name]. When I went to school, there must’ve been a “goes by/known as” box on the forms my mom filled out because teachers would take attendance and ask for “[name]Nicki[/name] ___” and I’d correct them. By the time I was in my late teens, most of my family called me [name]Nichole[/name] most of the time… even my mom.
Like jennie, I never liked the idea of people I don’t know in a familiar way calling me by a pet name… it feels obtrusive. I like being able to have a formal name to use professionally - I’ve always said I’d would’ve made one up for resumes and such if my given name was [name]Nicki[/name].
I may hate the name [name]Nicki[/name] but I don’t hate nicknames - there are others given to me that I embrace. I’m glad I was (reluctantly) given the option of another name to go by, even my mom admits I’m not really a [name]Nicki[/name] (and wishes she gave me the name she wasn’t brave enough to use: [name]Gretchen[/name]).
Interestingly enough, my name is [name]Margaret[/name]. Since I was a kid, they always shortened my name. Professionally I go by [name]Margaret[/name] but among friends and family,it’s [name]Mag[/name], [name]Maggie[/name] or [name]Greta[/name]. I think shortened names can also be used in the professional setting…ie. I have some clients who just started calling me [name]Mag[/name], which is fine with me. I do think that naming a child with a formal name is better than the shortened version because there is the flexibility for the child to determine if they want to be formal or informal. I know I did…good luck.
Thanks for chiming in with your own personal experience! [name]Do[/name] you like when people call you [name]Margaret[/name], or do you prefer a nickname? [name]Just[/name] curious…
I suppose it’s a bit of a catch-22. If you have (and use) a “full” name with a common/traditional nickname, people will always ask if you go by the expected nickname. If you have a “nickname” name then you will be asked if it’s short for something else.
My mother is named [name]Deborah[/name], but grew up as [name]Debbie[/name], then transitioned to [name]Deb[/name] in college and eventually got to [name]Deborah[/name] professionally. However, she still gets called all 3 names by various people. Because she hated being called [name]Debbie[/name] so much, my brother and I never used the common nicknames for our names. This really bothered her father, who was in the “everyone needs a nickname” camp. My inlaws are the same way. (Interestingly, my sister-in-law’s middle name is [name]Jen[/name], which I always thought a bit odd, and maybe my [name]MIL[/name] just gave up by the third child’s mn. )
A friend of mine has a young daughter called [name]Ellie[/name], which is a nn for [name]Elena[/name]. She never goes by [name]Elena[/name] and may not even know it’s her name. My friend is now expecting her second and wants to find a name that can be used as-is, at least initially, due to the confusion that the given name/nn has caused [name]Ellie[/name].
I’m of two minds on the issue myself. Why name your child something that you don’t intend to call him or her? Like giving them a first name and then calling them by the middle name. But, I am a traditionalist when it comes to names, so I could never name my daughter something like [name]Kate[/name] instead of the full name [name]Katherine[/name]. (I have a friend who is planning to do just that.) However, I would likely pick a name that I liked both ways. And then use both occasionally.
I’m very interested in everyone’s opinions on this topic. We have an [name]Eleanor[/name], who goes by [name]Eleanor[/name] always. When she was born, EVERYONE asked if we were calling her [name]Ellie[/name] or just started calling her [name]Ellie[/name]. I’m not terribly fond of [name]Ellie[/name], mostly because it sounds terrible with our last name. I guess if she wants to be called [name]Ellie[/name] when she’s older, that’s her decision, but for now we are the parents and she’s too young to voice an opinion. Therefore, it bugs me when people just start calling her by a nickname when she wasn’t introduced as such. Most people stop with just a light, “Nope! She’s [name]Eleanor[/name], not [name]Ellie[/name]!” A few people we’ve had to be more firm with: “Please don’t call her [name]Ellie[/name].”
We are now expecting again, and if it is a girl, we are currently thinking [name]Margaret[/name] will be her name. I know that the nickname issue will inevitably come up again, and we’ll need to know right away what we plan on calling her in order to avoid any of the many nicknames that we don’t love. We’re deciding between [name]Maggie[/name], [name]Maisie[/name], and [name]Meg[/name], but if we can’t agree on one before she’s born (if it is a girl), the name will be out the window!
To [name]Lemon[/name], I guess it depends on the situation…for work…I think I sound more professional and people take me more seriously when i go by [name]Margaret[/name]. I was young when I got into the profession that I’m in so the name [name]Margaret[/name] seem to make me seem older. Among my friends, I like [name]Maggie[/name] or [name]Mag[/name] because it seems young and fun! I guess if I had to choose between the two, I would choose [name]Maggie[/name].
I know my family and friends all call me by the nickname I use(which, coincidentally, changed when I got old enough to want a change), but everyone at my place of business use my full name. I think there is a time for nicknames and a time for “adult” names. Lol…
I’d hate to call my co-worker [name]WILLIE[/name], when I can call him [name]William[/name], his formal name.
I tend to prefer full names with nn options, rather than nns as given names. I actually am not worried about nicknames not being acceptable in a professional setting (I am [name]Winnie[/name] everywhere I go, including at work) - it is more to do with my worry about children not liking their name. If you call your child just [name]Posy[/name], or even [name]Maggie[/name]/[name]Katie[/name]/[name]Tess[/name], if she doesn’t like that name then her only other option is to revert to a middle name. If you call her [name]Mariposa[/name]/[name]Josephine[/name]/[name]Penelope[/name] [name]Rose[/name] (my friend’s choice) nn [name]Posy[/name], and she grows up to dislike names such as [name]Posy[/name], then she can easily revert back to her full name.
I wasn’t given a nickname-name; my pet name was only ever used by family, close friends, and the occasional teacher that knew me well. Otherwise I always went by my proper first name, or my middle name. Now that I’m going off to college, though, I’m thinking about using my middle name or my completely-unrelated-to-my-given-name nickname professionally.
Haha, that was so unhelpful, I’m sorry. x) Ultimately I think it depends on the person; plenty of people pull off being a [name]Jack[/name], [name]Bill[/name], or [name]Katie[/name] their whole lives, no problem, and others would like the option or being [name]John[/name], [name]William[/name], [name]Katherine[/name]…w/e. But a lot of nicknames have become names in their own right, so things just evolve… ([name]Jack[/name], [name]Harry[/name], [name]Judy[/name])