Gender neutral naming pickle (Be nice, Berries!)

General Name Discussion
1

[name]Hi[/name] there, Berries -

My partner and I are TTC our first child, and I’ve been trying to use up some of this extra nervous energy by coming up with the perfect name for our little bun-to-be. I am a name nerd from way back, complete with spreadsheet and marked up books, so I’m excited to be getting close to naming a real baby. Also, we’ve worked up quite the naming challenge for ourselves, so we might need the extra time.

For reasons that are very important to us, we want our child to have a gender neutral first name. (I’m willing to chat about those reasons if anyone is interested, but they are non-negotiable for us.) I prefer a name that has a history of legitimate use for boys and girls, even if one is far more obscure than the other. We don’t mind a little bit of gender-bending and prefer less common names, but we don’t want it to be super confusing or unwearable. We are definitely not into made up names or anything kre8tif. Middle name will probably be a family name, which will likely be gender-specific. [name]Baby[/name]'s last name will be similar to [name]Greene[/name]-[name]Ferguson[/name], so most color names and noun names are out.

I know that surnames as first names are a common way of giving babies gender-neutral names, but I feel weird about using a surname that has no connection to us, and we don’t have any meaningful surnames we’d consider as first names. Meaning is important, too. The name doesn’t need to mean anything specific, but it can’t be a negative meaning (i.e. DP likes [name]Tristan[/name], but I can’t do it because it means sad). I’d love a name with a biblical or nature or artist or activist connection, but all that is negotiable.

Some names we like:

[name]Shiloh[/name] - This was my favorite pre-Brangelina. I like it’s biblical connection and its legitimate use for both sexes. Still a front-runner as most of our friends and family won’t think we copied the star baby.
[name]Arlo[/name] - I know that many people feel this is exclusively a boys’ name, but I recently met a little girl named [name]Arlo[/name] [name]June[/name], and it was cute. Also, she’ll fit right in with all the Harlows and Marlos.
[name]Crispin[/name] - See [name]Arlo[/name]
[name]August[/name] - Is this weird if we have no connection to the month?
[name]Rory[/name] - I’m afraid that a child named [name]Rory[/name] is destined for a lisp. . .
[name]Noah[/name]/[name]Noa[/name]
[name]Indie[/name] - We like this as a nickname, but can’t do [name]Indigo[/name]. And [name]Indiana[/name] is too wierd even for us!
[name]Pascal/name - Cute, especially if this little bean sticks and comes around [name]Easter[/name] next year. But no nicknames for this come to mind, and I love a good nickname.
[name]Seren[/name]
[name]Sorrell[/name]
[name]Zivi[/name], [name]Tovi[/name], [name]Toby[/name], [name]Ira[/name] - Cute as nicknames but not as proper names.
[name]Arlen[/name]/[name]Arden[/name]/[name]Arwen[/name] - I try to like these because we can’t use [name]Auden[/name], but they just aren’t as good for me.
[name]Tate[/name]/[name]Taite[/name] - Does this sound too much like “taint”?
[name]Zephyr/name - Too weird? I also like [name]Seraphine[/name]/[name]Serafino[/name]
[name]River[/name]/[name]Lake[/name] - Too much noun for my partner
[name]Briar[/name]/[name]Brier[/name] - Too thorny?
[name]Orli[/name] - DP thinks it sounds like “orally”

Names we like but can’t use:
[name]Auden[/name]
[name]Aurora[/name]/[name]Zora[/name]
Anything starting with Av- ([name]Avery[/name], [name]Avis[/name], [name]Avie[/name], and [name]Avi[/name] are all in our circle)
[name]Bayard[/name]/[name]Baird[/name]
[name]Ellis[/name]
[name]Marlowe[/name]
[name]Ezra[/name]/[name]Esra[/name]
[name]Sterling[/name]
[name]Auberon[/name]
[name]Romy[/name]
[name]Reece[/name]/[name]Reese[/name]/[name]Rhys[/name]
[name]Jude[/name]
[name]Devon[/name]
[name]Luca[/name]
[name]Nico[/name]
[name]Hollis[/name]

Middle name possibilities:
[name]Denham[/name]
[name]Jericho[/name]
[name]Judah[/name]
[name]Ellen[/name]/[name]Eleanor[/name]
[name]Philo[/name]
[name]Allen[/name]/[name]Alain[/name]
[name]James[/name]
[name]Merritt[/name]
Derivatives of [name]Andria[/name] or [name]Sheila[/name]
Tallman
[name]Lorelei[/name]
[name]Poppy[/name]
[name]James[/name]/[name]Jameson[/name]

Any other suggestions for our list? Thanks!

[name]Karma[/name]

2

I wish you luck ttcing. We are going to start at the end of the month! :slight_smile:
Now I am not a huge fan of gender bending names (I was the only female [name]Whitney[/name] with three male Whitneys growing up and it wasn’t easy for me) but I will see what I can do.

[name]Briony[/name]/[name]Bryony[/name]
[name]Shawn[/name] (you can even do [name]Sian[/name] which is the irish femme version if you like)
[name]Shay[/name]/[name]Shae[/name]
[name]Ali[/name]/[name]Alex[/name]/[name]Lex[/name]
[name]Sasha[/name]/[name]Misha[/name]
[name]Michal[/name]/[name]Michael[/name] ([name]Michal[/name] is legit girl and you get the [name]Mickey[/name]/[name]Mikey[/name] nn which is cute!)
[name]Cale[/name]/[name]Kale[/name]
[name]Kai[/name]
[name]Blake[/name]
[name]Devon[/name]
[name]Evan[/name]
[name]Stevie[/name]
[name]Logan[/name]
[name]Cole[/name] (I have both male and female friends named [name]Cole[/name] and it fits both well.)
[name]Emory[/name]
[name]Bronte[/name] (I know you said gender neutral and no last names but I had to throw this out because I met a little [name]Bronte[/name] and it was sucha great name in person!)
Let me know if these fit at all and I will throw more out. I just implore you that if you do use gender neutral for this one then you carry on the theme. My neices are named [name]Felicity[/name] and [name]Carter[/name] and I can tell you the [name]Carter[/name] feels cheated. I know she would be fine if Felicitys name weren’t so flowing and princess like.

3

From your list of names, I like these the best:

[name]Shiloh[/name] - I think this is truly gender neutral. I had a pre-Brangelina male association with this name.
[name]August[/name] - I see this as more masculine, but I wouldn’t find it surprising to see it on a girl. [name]Both[/name] Augusts I’ve encountered were not born in that month).
[name]Indie[/name] - I do prefer this as a nn for [name]Indigo[/name], but since that is a no-go for you, have you considered it as a nn for [name]India[/name]?
[name]Seren[/name] - I also like the similar [name]Soren[/name].
[name]Sorrell[/name]
[name]River[/name] - I have both male and female associations with this name, so I find it very gender neutral.
[name]Briar[/name]/[name]Brier[/name]

Other names that I think are very gender neutral:
[name]Rowen[/name]
[name]Morgan[/name] - love it on a boy!
[name]Remy[/name] - I think some people are using this on girls, though it is historically a masculine name.
[name]Ollie[/name] - My DH’s grandmother’s full first name. I think it can be gender neutral since it can also be a nn for [name]Olivia[/name] and [name]Oliver[/name].
[name]Avery[/name] - love it on a boy!
[name]Tristan[/name] - I’ve heard of this on girls from time to time.
[name]Shae[/name] - I’ve heard this on both girls and boys.

Good luck! There are some great gender-neutral names out there and I’m sure you’ll find something you love!

4

Thanks! I really like [name]Emory[/name], [name]Evan[/name], [name]Cole[/name], and [name]Bronte[/name]. I like [name]Bevan[/name], too, but we can’t use it. And, while I like [name]Kale[/name], I think it’s probably bad form to name a kid with the last name “[name]Greene[/name]” after a vegetable :slight_smile:

I also like the suggestions of [name]Remy[/name]. [name]Rowan[/name] and [name]Morgan[/name] are also our style but are too popular for us. I really love the names [name]Tristan[/name] and [name]Soren[/name], but the sad/harsh meanings give me pause.

And, don’t worry, we’ll be going gender-neutral with all of our kids. There will be no princess or uber-macho names unless they choose them for themselves (which we would support if they later chose to do). [name]Both[/name] DP and I have relatively gender-neutral names first names (with gendered middles), and it really works for us. Many people in our community also choose neutral names, so our kid will be in good company.

I appreciate the input!

5

[name]Micah[/name] (which has a biblical association)
[name]Taylor[/name]
[name]Jesse[/name]
[name]Elliot[/name]
[name]Bryce[/name] (I know both a boy and a girl [name]Bryce[/name])
[name]Alex[/name]
[name]Jerri[/name]
[name]Reggie[/name]
[name]Parker[/name]
[name]Nik[/name] (remember [name]Nik[/name] from [name]America[/name]'s Next Top Model)
[name]Kyle[/name]
[name]Sam[/name]
[name]Jade[/name]
Knoll
[name]Max[/name] (as in nn for [name]Maxine[/name]? may be a stretch for a girl)
[name]Aden[/name]
[name]Eden[/name] (like, Garden of [name]Eden[/name] in the Bible)
[name]Genesis[/name] (may not work for a boy? not sure…)

Good luck!

6

I personally love gender neutral or gender bending names.

Here is a list of some of my favorites. I feel that they all work on either gender well.

[name]Micah[/name] - This is the name we are most likely going to give to our girl, although I love it on either gender. It also has the biblical ties you mentioned, and is similar to [name]Noah[/name] (and less common!)

[name]Reagan[/name]

[name]Spencer[/name]

[name]Ramsey[/name]

[name]Rowan[/name]

[name]Myles[/name] - This is typically thought of as a boys name, but it was originally a girls name used in ancient [name]Rome[/name].

[name]Camden[/name]

[name]Carsen[/name]

[name]Emerson[/name]

[name]Remy[/name]

[name]Gage[/name]

[name]Finley[/name]

[name]Sawyer[/name]

Karrighan/Korrighan

[name]Connery[/name]

From your list, I really like [name]Noah[/name], [name]Rory[/name], [name]Arlo[/name] and [name]Briar[/name]

7

The very first names that came to mind were [name]Elliot[/name] and [name]Ryan/name. [name]Both[/name] common for boys and girls. [name]How[/name] about these :
[name]Elliot[/name]
[name]Ryan[/name]
[name]Lennox[/name]
[name]Lennon[/name]
[name]Blake[/name] - i love how this can sound very masculine on a boy (think [name]Blake[/name] [name]Shelton[/name]), and also really feminine on a girl (think [name]Blake[/name] Lively)
[name]Abel[/name] - nn [name]Abbie[/name] if its a girl
[name]Amos[/name]
[name]Ashton[/name] - i find “[name]Ash[/name]” to actually be quite fem (i guess stemming from the whole [name]Ashley[/name] faze)
[name]Sasha[/name]/[name]Sacha[/name]
[name]Emmanuel/name
[name]Israel[/name] - would fit in with other [name]Izzy[/name]'s ([name]Isabelle[/name] etc)
[name]Charlie[/name]
[name]Quinn[/name]
[name]Micah[/name]
[name]Parker[/name]
[name]Chase[/name]
[name]Dominique[/name]
[name]Pheonix[/name]
[name]Sidney[/name]/[name]Sydney[/name]/[name]Sidonie[/name] - i think this could be a great option. male=[name]Sidney[/name] [name]Crosby[/name], and many females named [name]Sydney[/name] out there

The list is really random and all over the place, but these are the names that came to mind that are gender neutral. [name]Hope[/name] this helps!

8

My vote is too [name]Soren[/name], or [name]Indie[/name] as nn to [name]Indiana[/name] (I think [name]Indiana[/name] works for both genders very well!)

9

Hello,
What a challenge no surnames and no noun names and gender neutral, but you like nature style names and names that end in an ‘o’ sound etc. Please give me some feedback and tell me if I am on the right track. I fear that I have not kept to your rules.

[name]Lindsay[/name] [name]Jane[/name]
[name]Peta[/name] [name]Skye[/name]
[name]Willow[/name] [name]Penelope[/name] (is [name]Willow[/name] out because it is a noun?) [name]Love[/name] the name.
[name]Willow[/name] [name]Clementine[/name]
Armitage [name]Poesy[/name]
[name]Lacey[/name] [name]Arlo[/name]
[name]Carys[/name] [name]Lorelai[/name]
[name]Ainsley[/name] [name]Charlotte[/name]
[name]Paige[/name] [name]Alanna[/name] (sounds better as [name]Alanna[/name] [name]Paige[/name])
[name]Blaise[/name] [name]Ellen[/name]
[name]Seren[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name]
[name]Junia[/name] [name]Shiloh[/name]
[name]Sorrell[/name] [name]Margot[/name]
[name]Bellamy[/name] [name]Seraphina[/name]
[name]Briony[/name] [name]Rose[/name]
[name]Alexis[/name] [name]April[/name]
Are these too gender specific?
[name]Margot[/name] [name]Seraphina[/name]
[name]Imogen[/name] [name]Lorelai[/name]
[name]Imogen[/name] [name]Daisy[/name]
[name]Bethany[/name] [name]Lorelai[/name]

Boys
[name]Nelson[/name] [name]Merritt[/name]
[name]Denham[/name] [name]James[/name]
[name]Landon[/name] [name]Jericho[/name]
[name]Elliott[/name] [name]Jameson[/name]
[name]Israel[/name] [name]Allen[/name]
[name]Fletcher[/name] [name]Jameson[/name]
[name]Levi[/name] [name]Jordan[/name]
[name]Harrison[/name] [name]Judah[/name]
[name]Tate[/name] [name]Jameson[/name]
[name]Toby[/name] [name]Merritt[/name]
[name]Joshua[/name] [name]Isaac[/name]

rollo :slight_smile:

10

Sorry for any repeats:

[name]Jocelyn[/name] (used to be a boy’s name)
Dougless/[name]Douglas[/name] (used to be a girl’s name too)
[name]Emmanuel[/name]
[name]Quinn[/name] (this one might be too surnamey for you, but it’s one of my favorite unisex names)
[name]Georgie[/name]
[name]Sage[/name]
[name]Jackie[/name]

11

Avyen
Gracin/[name]Grayson[/name]/[name]Greyson[/name]
[name]Palmer[/name]
[name]Allyn[/name] (I knew a girl in high school with this name and absolutely loved it! :))

12

I know you said “no” to surnames, but these are worth a shot! :slight_smile:

Adler
Aniston
[name]Byrd[/name]
[name]Casey[/name] (my hubby’s name. ha!)
[name]Connely[/name]
Mayton
[name]Frances[/name] (I think [name]Frankie[/name] is a cute nn for a boy or a girl. :))
[name]Corrie[/name]/[name]Cory[/name]

13

[name]How[/name] about [name]Milo[/name]? In the [name]Gene[/name] [name]Kelly[/name] movie, An American in [name]Paris[/name], one of the leading ladies was a girl named [name]Milo[/name] (named after [name]Venus[/name] de [name]Milo[/name]) and I always thought it was a cool name for either.

Other gender neutral names:

[name]Sutton[/name]
[name]Blythe[/name]
[name]Ellis[/name]
[name]Seeley[/name]
[name]Asa[/name]
[name]Ezra[/name]
[name]Brynn[/name]
[name]Easton[/name]
[name]Asher[/name]
[name]Tatum[/name]
[name]Ellery[/name]
[name]Thayne[/name] (I know a girl named [name]Thayne[/name]. You could also spell it [name]Thane[/name].)
[name]Hollis[/name]
[name]Cassidy[/name]
[name]Sloan[/name]

Good luck!

14

[name]Landry[/name]

…everytime I walk away from the computer another one comes to me! :slight_smile:

15

[name]Evan[/name]/Evynne
[name]Emerson[/name]
Stephens (I know a girl by that name.)
[name]Kelley[/name]
[name]Lane[/name]
[name]Hunter[/name] (I know a little girl named [name]Hunter[/name].)
[name]Blakely[/name]
[name]Shannon[/name] (I know 2 men by this name)
[name]Colby[/name]

…this is my last post. [name]Promise[/name]! :wink:

16

also [name]Scout[/name]! [name]Love[/name] it on a boy AND especially girl!

17

Ha! Your comments after some of the names had me laughing, especially “taint”. I [name]LOVE[/name] [name]Arlo[/name] [name]June[/name], that is a fantastic name! A few more suggestions that haven’t been mentioned yet. (I think) ; [name]Owen[/name], [name]Mason[/name], [name]Harper[/name], [name]Archer[/name], [name]James[/name] and I met a girl named [name]Elliot[/name] not too long ago, thought that was cute … Best of luck!

18

I [name]LOVE[/name] gender bending names. Some I have on my list are…

[name]August[/name]: I really liked this for a boy at first, but everyone I’ve mentioned it to says it sounds feminine. I still say it could work for either. Who cares if there’s no connection to the month. It was a Latin word meaning “venerable” before it was the name of a month. :wink:

[name]Darcy[/name]: I love the [name]Jane[/name] [name]Austen[/name] connection. Here in the states it’s considered more of a girl name though.

[name]Jordan[/name]: This name is adorable on a boy or a girl. [name]LOVE[/name] it!

[name]Sterling[/name]: I know a little boy whose name is [name]Sterling[/name] and it fits him to a T. There’s just something about it that makes me think it would be adorable on a girl though. Maybe it’s the “little star” meaning. :slight_smile:

[name]Devon[/name]/[name]Deaven[/name]: [name]LOVE[/name] this name no matter how it’s spelled!

Good luck!

19

My fav one is [name]Bailey[/name]!! Great on either sex. [name]Love[/name] love love it! I know 1 male and 1 female.

Other good ones…
[name]Sydney[/name] (met a couple of each sex)
[name]Taylor[/name] (know 2 females, 1 male)
[name]Ryan[/name] (went to school with a few males and now know a few females)
[name]Jamie[/name] (I’ve know 2 males but can totally be used for a girl too)
[name]Charlie[/name] (love this one!!!)
[name]Ty[/name] (i know a female)
[name]Morgan[/name] (I know 2 females)
[name]Alex[/name]
[name]Kris[/name]
[name]Sam[/name]
[name]Parker[/name]

good [name]Luck[/name]!!

20

Names I really like from your list:

[name]Arden[/name]: This is my favorite. I like it so much better than [name]Auden[/name]. Find a good production of “As You Like It” and settle in to enjoy and learn why [name]Arden[/name] (like the forest) is a rockin’ great gender neutral name.

[name]Shiloh[/name]: [name]Angelina[/name] made it flow both ways.

[name]Rory[/name]: A true 50-50 name and a great name besides.

Also like [name]Darcy[/name]. This name has great flexibility of image, in my opinion. It could a willowy dancer. It could be a handsome rogue.

Have you considered?
[name]Rio[/name]
[name]Bay[/name] (my favorite gender neutral)
[name]Bayou[/name]
[name]Harbor[/name]
[name]Prairie[/name]
[name]Juniper[/name]
[name]Sayer[/name]