Has anyone else gone through an Ectopic Pregnancy? Advice, experience?!?

Parentberries
1

[name]Hi[/name] Ladies,
I am writing because I am wondering if any of you wonderful Berries have been through an ectopic pregnancy?

Here’s our story …

My husband and I have been on a long journey TTC … and were finally referred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist in [name]August[/name]. Since we had been actively trying for 18 months without that beautiful BFP, our doctor told us that we had a less than 3% chance of getting pregnant naturally and that I would need to go for all sorts of fun (sarcasm) tests to rule things out. Well, these tests could not be administered until after my next period. So … we waited and waited … and I threw caution to the wind, because, you know, we were basically deemed infertile (at least that’s what a 3% chance translated to me at the time). I drank red wine (my fave … which I had sworn off since this whole TTC nonsense … I didn’t workout at all … I ate absolute junk food (JUNK FOOD!?! - I had been eating organic for two flipping years with no slip ups).

So on my 28th birthday, about 5 days before my scheduled anticipated arrival of AF, I popped a pregnancy test, just for sh*ts and giggles at that point. Of course, it was negative. Well, the day that my period was supposed to arrive, came and went, and I just chalked it up to my highly irregular menses (fun stuff, let me tell you). I waited one week past when I was supposed to get my period and low and behold, saw my very first POSITIVE. I was in shock. I literally thought I was hallucinating and had to rouse my hubby out of bed immediately. Nope - POSITIVE! We could not believe it. It seemed like it was how it was supposed to happen. I had finally let go; accepted that I was infertile, and was “okay” with it. We thought this little person was absolutely destined to be.

Two days after that beautiful pregnancy test, I started bleeding at work. Bleeding quite a bit, and having bad bad cramps. I knew I was having a miscarriage. We called the doctor and went in for my first (of I believe I’m up to 22 blood tests at this point) [name]Beta[/name]. We got the results that night and my levels were good … [name]Beta[/name] of 542 with a progesterone level of 9. My beta was good for 5 weeks pregnant and I was low in progesterone; so I was prescribed progesterone supplements (mucho disgusting imo). At this point, I hadn’t lost the baby and the doctors felt confident I just needed a little supplementation.

After another couple weeks, we finally found the baby … but, the baby was not where it was supposed to be. It was growing and might have otherwise been a healthy little bean, but, for whatever reason, my broken body could not deliver that sweet little bean to my uterus. Instead, our baby was stuck in my fallopian tube, and could never be. We were given two options; 1. Take an injection of a chemotherapy drug called Methotrexate to essentially shrink our baby down or 2. Have surgery to remove the baby matter from my tube, risking my tube even more. I was reminded day after day that this was a life threatening condition and my health was what was important. We decided (after several days and a couple more ultrasounds) to terminate the pregnancy with methotrexate, in the hopes of keeping my tube intact. Well, my numbers started to decrease … but, after a couple weeks that sort of remained stagnant. I needed a second injection … this one wrecked me. The day that I was administered the second injection I wound up in the ER because of such severe abdominal pain that I was sure was my tube rupturing. Basically, I have had pain and upset since this all started ([name]September[/name] 19th).

It is now [name]November[/name] 11th, and though my numbers keep going down, they are not down to zero yet (still “pregnant” so to speak). I just want this all to be over. I am finally ready to move on and even just typing this has been therapeutic for me; I can finally “talk” about this whole ordeal.

I just was hoping that someone out there has been through something similar. If you have been … can you share with me your story? You can PM me … I don’t know anyone who has gone through an ectopic. No one knows what to say, and I just want to get someone elses personal experience to know I guess, to help me cope with the physical aspect of this. I know I will always think of this baby, and I am very much dreading [name]May[/name] 14th (my would have been due date). If you feel up for it, I would really appreciate any ectopic stories.

Thank you for listening.

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This sounds almost identical to my story. We are also seeing a fertility doc (I have PCOS), and against all kinds of odds, I got pregnant right before we started an IUI ministim cycle. (Really weird long story) Then they told me I was going to miscarry. Then it was an ectopic pregnancy. I also did the methotrexate shot, and I was in a ton of pain for about a week afterward. My ordeal started in early [name]August[/name] and ended in late [name]September[/name], so it took about 2 months for my levels to come down to 5. Then I was told I would have to wait for my next period before we could try again, which for me could be a long, long wait. So I bought some Wondfo ovulation and pregnancy tests from Amazon (awesome prices), and started monitoring my ovulation just in case my ovaries actually worked on their own :wink: Well, they did and I’m seven weeks pregnant now! I was really nervous until my ultrasound because I had read that you are more likely to have another ectopic pregnancy after you’ve had one, but everything turned out ok. [name]One[/name] reason your chances for another ectopic go up is that it could be caused by a blockage in one of your tubes. My doc did a test before I got pregnant with my first kid where she inserted dye into my uterus and Fallopian tubes, then looked at it under x-ray to make sure I didn’t have any blockages. Your doctor may want to do the same. It is a good first step when looking into infertility. I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is so heartbreaking! We have been TTC for two years now. There is still hope! They can do amazing things for infertility. Oh, and the progesterone supplements may be gross, but they do help. My progesterone is at 30 this time, as opposed to 10 last time. Let me know if you have any questions. The TTC board on here has a lot of ladies who struggle with infertility too. You can also ask any questions there. Good luck and baby dust to you!

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[name]Whit[/name] - Thank you so much for the reply! [name]Do[/name] you mind if I ask you a few questions? My doctor doesn’t really have any good answers, because apparently ectopics are different from person to person. [name]How[/name] long after you hit an HCG of zero until your first (regular) period arrived? I basically bled/spotted until a couple of weeks ago …

I do have to go for the HSG (hysterosalpingogram I think it’s called …) test that you mentioned. I was actually supposed to do that and bloodwork before we were going to try Clomid and IUI in [name]September[/name]. But I ended up pregnant before I could schedule the dye test. I am sort of really anxious about it. I’ve read that it hurts worse than childbirth if you indeed have any type of blockage or scar tissue from the ectopic … not really looking forward to it. Would you mind telling me how it went for you, and any recommendations you might have? I’m not really worried about the amount of blood they are taking for the bloodwork … my arms basically have looked like a needle user since this all started (as I’m sure you remember … betas every other day/every day for weeks on end). I’ve actually only been having my betas done weekly for the last three weeks which has been FABULOUS! I can handle having my bloods done every week.

Also, what did your doctor say about trying after you’ve reached zero? My doctor wants us to wait three months so I can build up my folic acid again, since the methotrexate completely depletes it from your body.

Lastly, this is going to sound insane, but, how did you get over the fear of having another? I was so so excited to get pregnant, be pregnant and have my hubby’s baby (we’ve been together for 10 years so, this has been my dream for a long long time). But, this was my first experience being pregnant, and it was sort of, for lack of a better description, earth shattering for me. I am so terrified of having it happen again. I don’t know how to get over that fear. Maybe I just won’t get over it. I guess there is nothing that can be done. My doctor had told me exactly what you said, which is that once you have an ectopic, you have a higher than average risk of having another (it’s something like 15 - 20% risk factor, as opposed to less than 2% for the general population).

I guess that does it for my questions for now. Thank you again for listening and responding … I really haven’t had anyone to talk to about this. [name]One[/name] of my girlfriends has been an amazing shoulder to cry on, having experienced two miscarriages herself. It’s just I have had some “ectopic specific” questions that I haven’t been able to discuss with anyone. Thank you again and congratulations on your little darling - how exciting!!! I can’t wait to hear what name you select :slight_smile:

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When we were college-aged (over a decade ago now) one of my friends started getting really bad cramping while at her mom’s place. As the pain worsened, her mom took her to the hospital to get checked out and it turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy, which she had surgically removed. The doctor warned her that she may have “sticky tubes” and this could happen again. She hasn’t been pregnant since, but they are now ready to start ttc. It worries me that this could happen again and put her at risk, but it helps knowing she’s aware what symptoms to watch for.

What has your doctor said about ivf? Is it possible to put the fertilized egg where it’s supposed to go, bypassing your tubes? I know it’s an expensive option and not fun to go through, but I was wondering if that would be a viable option.

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[name]Hi[/name] Kungfualex - Yes my doctor warned me about “sticky tubes” as well. I guess a lot of times there is no reason that an ectopic occurs (most of the time). But, there could be physiological differences … for example, the cilia that line the inside of the fallopian tube not working properly for whatever reason, at least that is what she has told us. So, even if my tubes are open (no blockages), I could still have issues. Our doctor has discussed IVF with us.

In [name]August[/name], when we went for our infertility appointment, we were planning on having tests done to rule things out; providing everything came back normal, we were going to proceed with Clomid (to induce a “strong” ovulation) and IUI to ensure the healthiest sperm got where they needed to go (hubbys Semen Analysis came back normal; as did my first round of bloodwork). At that time, our doctor did mention IVF, but as a last case resort (I was just shy of my 28th birthday, and hubby is just shy of 30, and we hadn’t tried any other options at that point).

Since having an ectopic, we were consulted about IVF again, that it may be my only option. I was told that if the dye test comes back anything short of perfect (meaning any tubal blockages - mucus or otherwise, twisted/bent tubes or very tiny tubes), she wants to proceed with IVF. She said at this day in age, our clinic does not do any tube opening surgeries … I guess too much scar tissue can build and cause an even greater risk of another ectopic. She said they go straight to IVF to have the most reduced chance of another ectopic and the best chance for a healthy, controlled pregnancy.

Luckily, I live in CT and have wonderful insurance … 100% coverage for IVF with no limitations as to how many rounds (at our clinic one round ranges from 10,000 - $13,000). The IVF process is scary, and I have read anecdotal evidence that the hormones/drugs they administer can put you at greater risk for cancer later on. My doctor gave us a brief overview of what it entails, and it is just really scary. It’s hard to wrap my head around it …

The thing that frustrates me most lately is seeing pregnant young women/mothers who clearly did not intend to get pregnant (i.e. 16 and Pregnant, friends that are unmarried, have been “dating” a couple of months and got pg etc.). Facebook has been killing me too - I am at the age when many of my friends/family members have recently had a child or are pregnant and it seems like Facebook has become a forum of complaint after complaint about how horrible some aspect of pregnancy/parenting is. It’s frustrating when I have wanted so badly, for so long a child and others complain about how difficult it is, how fat they’ve gotten or how they can’t get their two year old to be quiet. I am thinking of signing off of Facebook for a while … at least until those feelings have subsided somewhat.

I think the best thing to have come from this experience is a greater awareness of just how difficult it is for some people to have a family, and what to say to those who have had a struggle.

Anyway, that turned into a crazy long post again. Sorry - like 3/4 of that didn’t even pertain to your question. It just helps to type it, and get it out. Thanks again for listening! :slight_smile:

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(((hugs))) eliza. I can’t relate to your ectopic pregnancy, but I can totally relate to being annoyed by one’s facebook feed. And it does seem heartbreakingly unfair that some women have “oopsie” pregnancies so easily. I wish you healing and may you have the healthy baby of your dreams!

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My parents took 5 years of trying to have me, just short of my mom’s 37th birthday, and this was in 1980 when that was a lot older than it is now. My mom wanted to try for another baby, but my dad said he couldn’t go through that again and by the time they divorced she was on into her 40s. They had tried all that time but my dad had multiple fertility issues and I was eventually conceived using donor sperm. [name]Even[/name] though she probably could have gotten pregnant again easily with donor sperm, I think it was hard for him emotionally, feeling like he was less of a man or something. They’d also had quite a few miscarriages, I think due to poor sperm quality, which were tough on both of them. She got pregnant and carried to term the first time she was artificially inseminated.

[name]Even[/name] though their fertility problems came from him, I was always very aware and concerned that I’d have difficulty conceiving. When I was about 18 I set the time frame that I wanted to have my first child, or at least be pregnant, by the time I was 28. Well, 28 came and I wasn’t involved with anyone, and then it went. About that time I found out I did, in fact, have a fertility issue of my own, that I ovulate infrequently, possibly as little as twice a year. My doctor said it would be highly unlikely I’d get pregnant naturally, but that clomid would probably be enough, as I had reservations about further steps. I knew from my mom’s situation how stressful it can be trying all these different things and I didn’t know if I could handle years and years of it. Not too long after that, I met someone, we got engaged and agreed that we would start ttc right after the wedding, but before we got that far, I caught him cheating.

So at 31, even though it’s not that old yet, I felt like I might not ever have a baby. I mean, when I did start trying, would I be able to conceive? Would I be old enough that whatever fertility I did have would be gone? I, too, resented the people on facebook. There were people from my high school class on their 4th kid already and I resented them for it. Then it happened. I thought it was a migraine. Usually I’ll get really nauseous and by the next day it’s a full-blown headache. It happened at least a few times a month, so it didn’t exactly catch me off guard. Plus, I only got my period every 2-3 months, if that often, so not having had one for 6 weeks wasn’t exactly tipping me off either. I had some tenderness in my breasts, but I kind of figured it was my period coming (for me) early. But by day 3 of nausea/vomiting without developing a migraine, I figured something was up. I took the home test and it was a really faint positive. I waited a day and took another, but again it was really faint and I just wasn’t sure. It wasn’t until I went in and had a professional test done that I really believed it.

Ok, so all that was basically a long, drawn-out way to tell you that while our situations aren’t the same, I do empathize with what you’re going through and that even when you have odds stacked against you, pregnancy is possible. I told the nurse that gave me my results how I’d been warned it would be difficult to conceive and she told me I’d be surprised how many people she’d heard that from.

I think that with your insurance on board with it, you should definitely consider the ivf. Definitely look into the risks before you do it, though, and keep in mind that it can take multiple tries to get it to take. I think a lot of women get to a point where they’re so stressed about getting pregnant that it actually makes it harder for their bodies to do so. I had a coworker that had 2 (out-of-pocket) ivf attempts that failed. She gave up trying, started her own business, and wound up pregnant naturally within a year. Now they have a 2nd. I think it’s important to look into your options, have realistic expectations, and not to let the process cast a dark cloud over the other good things in your life. The good news is that you’re still plenty young enough that you don’t have a huge ticking clock hanging over your heads. It might take more time/effort/discomfort than you’d like (not that it hasn’t already) but it sounds like there’s still a good deal to be hopeful about and options to be pursued.

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Eliza-- everything you’d said on this thread has been absolutely medically correct. If the HSG shows any concerns, it’s best to skip straight ahead to an (artificial) interuterine pregnancy. Since your eggs might have difficulties making their way into the uterus, IUI is not a likely option.

And I’m sure you’ve read up on the risk factors for ectopics. Sometimes they really just happen, no rhyme, reason, or past history of PID. There are so many millions of random, perfectly timed events that must happen in order to turn an egg & a sperm into a baby, and bumping into the wall of the fallopian tube but deciding to keep going and not implant is one of them. You might have perfectly normal tubes, perfectly normal cilia, but for whatever reason your embryo banged into the wall and started to implant. [name]One[/name] of the billions of seemingly random binary events that happen to us all each and every day. Only this time it turned out to have heartbreaking consequences.

I would reiterate your REI’s advice about methotrexate and total-body folate depletion. If at all possible, wait a few months. The risk of neural tube defects is simply too high.

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[name]Hi[/name], sorry it took so long for me to answer.
As far as when my first period started, that’s a little tricky. I bled for about 2 full weeks after my betas started coming down. Then the bleeding stopped completely for about 5 days, and started up again for about 3 days. Those days were very heavy. Toward then end of those 3 days, I went for my last beta and it was down to 5. They told me I had to wait till my next period before we could start another clomid cycle, but my levels were ready otherwise. They didn’t say anything about folic acid deficiency, and they still haven’t. I have been taking vitamins, so hopefully that will help. I did ask them at that last blood draw if I should try to prevent pregnancy for a while because of the methotrexate, but my doc told me it wasn’t a problem because the methotrexate has a very short half-life. Which is why some people have to have more than one shot.
My HSG wasn’t painful, or even really uncomfortable as far as I can remember. That was 3 years ago though. It was no big deal at the time. I definitely prefered it to the glucose tolerance tests. Glucola is awful!
Now your last question is probably the hardest to answer. I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant again. Terrified every time I went in for bloodwork that they would call me and tell me that I was going to miscarry. Terrified that at the 6 week ultrasound we would find out it was ectopic. And I’m still a bit worried now that I’ll have a late miscarriage (or that my folic acid is all depleted now :wink: I guess the fear never goes away. My son is 2 1/2 and I still check to make sure he’s ok in the middle of the night. I still worry a bit when he stays overnight at my parent’s house. I’m not consumed with worry, but when you love someone so much, you can’t help but be concerned about them. Grief is a difficult process, and it is different for everyone. Give yourself time if you feel like you need it. As far as whether you want to risk it again, that is up to you. I chose to try again because I think there are risks everywhere, but we can’t be so afraid of them that we stop living.
Good luck! And let me know if you have any more questions! Y’all will be in my prayers.

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I have not had an eptopic pregnancy, but we’ve lost 4 little ones ranging from 6 weeks to 16 weeks. Losing a baby is not easy and it will take time to heal physically and emotionally. I’m sorry your friends and family are upsetting you (without trying!) I have learned that you really should try to give people the benefit of the doubt because they most often don not mean to be rude or uncaring. Most people don’t know how to react or help someone gong through a loss like this.

Anyway, I wanted to send you my thoughts and a virtual hug. It will get better and i hope you will be lead in the right direction for your upcoming decisions. Talk it over with your DH and you will know what is right for you two.

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Oops, I forgot to add that 3 weeks after those 3 days of bleeding, i got my positive ovulation test. So my doctor figured those three days were my period. It was all very strange though.

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Very early in pregnancy, ectopic pregnancies seem like normal pregnancies. A woman may have a missed period, breast tenderness, fatigue, and nausea.
Symptoms of ectopic pregnancy can be quite different. If you have any symptoms of ectopic pregnancy, contact your health care provider right away. The earlier an ectopic pregnancy is diagnosed and treated, the better.