I’d love to hear from anyone out there who has changed (or considered changing) their child’s name, whether after a few days, weeks, or even months.
If you did change your child’s name…
[name_m]How[/name_m] old was your child when you made the change?
Were you uncertain about the original name from the start? Or did your doubts only start to creep in later?
Was there a particular stimulus for you making the change? A comment, a mispronunciation, an association?
[name_m]How[/name_m] did you settle on a new name? Was it one you’d considered before the birth?
[name_m]How[/name_m] did the process go? Did people accept the change? Did you feel awkward about it, or relieved (or both!)?
If you considered changing your child’s name but decided against…
Are you still happy with your decision not to change the name? Does it ever play on your mind?
Why did you decide not to change?
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you use the original name day-to-day, or have you found some kind of workaround or compromise (e.g. using a middle name or nickname)?
Thank you in advance for sharing your experiences! I’m going to be working on a blog post on this topic, so I’m really interested to hear real-life examples of both situations.
I’m not a mother myself but I thought I’d share my cousin’s experience in case it’s of any use! She named her daughter @lyssa-R0se but a few days after she was born thought about changing it to B3tsy. She said that @lyssa didn’t suit her and she looked like a B3tsy, but eventually for whatever reason decided not to change it. This could’ve been because several of my other family members told her she was overreacting and that @lyssa was fine as it was.
@lyssa is six now and as far as I know, my cousin hasn’t had any more doubts over her name. While she could definitely be a B3tsy, @lyssa does suit her and I think over time my cousin just got used to it. She hasn’t mentioned it since and @lyssa doesn’t go by a nickname or anything, so it seems that all is well.
Thank you, @gia.berry! That’s interesting, I wonder if it had anything to do with B feeling like a more fitting name for a tiny little baby? I know I found that with my first daughter: her name felt a little “big” for her at first, so she picked up a host of cutesy nicknames like [name_f]Pixie[/name_f], until we naturally just started to use her real name more and more.
I don’t know if this counts but I changed my son’s middle name when we all changed our surnames after we got married.
When he was born we had already decided on [name_m]Casper[/name_m] as his first name but for his middle it was between [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u] and [name_u]Orion[/name_u]. I can’t remember exactly why I picked [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u] over [name_u]Orion[/name_u] but he ended up being registered as [name_m]Casper[/name_m] [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u].
[name_m]Casper[/name_m] was about 15 months old when we changed all our surnames by deed poll and I realised I could change his middle name. I really regretted not using [name_u]Orion[/name_u] and as I didn’t think I’d have another chance to use it I decided I should (I thought he would be our last child but we’ve since decided to have another).
I didn’t announce it to anyone and I’m not sure any of my family could have told you what his middle name was then or now anyway. I’m pretty sure his birth certificate will always say [name_m]Casper[/name_m] [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u] but his passport says [name_m]Casper[/name_m] [name_u]Orion[/name_u] so I guess he can choose when he’s older.
I’m still glad I changed it because I do actually prefer [name_u]Orion[/name_u]. I guess I’m a bit annoyed at myself that I didn’t choose it in the first place!
@jessicaflux That definitely counts! That’s really interesting the way you did that; did you blend surnames then? Very cool!
FWIW I think both [name_m]Casper[/name_m] [name_u]Phoenix[/name_u] and [name_m]Casper[/name_m] [name_u]Orion[/name_u] are utterly fabulous. My eldest daughter was going to be [name_m]Caspar[/name_m] if a boy
We named our youngest daughter [name_f]Isabel[/name_f] [name_f]Elena[/name_f] at birth. 24 hours later we changed it to [name_f]Isabella[/name_f] [name_f]Elena[/name_f] but just continued to call her [name_f]Isabel[/name_f]. She is 16 now and HATES [name_f]Isabella[/name_f]. She wants to legally change it back to just [name_f]Isabel[/name_f]. It really isn’t a problem except at the beginning of the school year when new teachers call her by her full name which is on their roster. But she is on the autistic spectrum and it just drives her nuts lol.
My mom says she felt the urge to change my name when I was a baby but she didn’t. My name is [name_f]Cecily[/name_f], and I’m named for my great-grandmother. Apparently my parents wanted to name me after her and were considering [name_f]Cecily[/name_f]. My mom was still iffy on the name, but my dad blabbed to my great-grandparents haha. They were so pumped that my mom felt she couldn’t change her mind. I think she considered changing it to [name_f]Anne[/name_f]-[name_f]Marie[/name_f] because it’s more classic and less confusing to spell and pronounce. Apparently my grandma could barely pronounce it at first and had to practice lol. BUT, my mom quickly grew to like it and so did everyone else and I [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] my name. My great-grandma was actually alive until I was 21, and we were super close. She’s a fantastic namesake. I’m glad my dad just leapt right into my unique name now although omg he’s bad at keeping secrets haha.
Aww, I think that’s really cute that she’s so certain which form of her name suits her haha. Both [name_f]Isabel[/name_f] and [name_f]Isabella[/name_f] are great names!
@[name_f]Katinka[/name_f] - Not a blended one, just a whole new name! We didn’t really put any special meaning into it, we just picked one we both liked.
Thank you! [name_m]Casper[/name_m] seems to be getting a little more popular now, I’ve seen more than I expected since he was born. Although if you ask him, he says his name is Caspy not [name_m]Casper[/name_m] haha.
We changed our daughter’s name when she was around 18 months old. My husband and I have a really hard time agreeing on names and when I was pregnant with our second daughter he basically shot down every name I suggested. We eventually settled on My grandmother’s name as the first and his grandmother’s name as the middle. I did think it was beautiful but it never felt like “the” name. [name_m]Even[/name_m] when I was spelling it out for the birth certificate in the hospital I had a twinge of regret and it never went away. It grew daily to the point that I truly hated telling anyone her name. She was always called “[name_f]Sissy[/name_f]” and it didn’t help that I kept hearing it everywhere. It was so much more popular than I had realized. I finally just couldn’t take it any longer. It shouldn’t make me sad to hear my child’s name come out of someone’s mouth. I knew that if we didn’t change it now, I would feel like this forever and it didn’t have to be that way. My husband had agreed as well that the name didn’t suit her, he saw how much I had been struggling with this and we started to talk names. He was MUCH more agreeable this time. We ended up choosing a name I had suggested when we first found out she was a girl and it just clicked. It’s perfect, it’s her name. It was like a weight lifted off of me, I have no regrets whatsoever. It was awkward to tell people, there were a lot of strange looks but I just didn’t care at that point. Nothing anyone thought was worse than keeping the name that I knew was wrong for her. Three years later, everyone sees her as the new name and we can’t imagine her any other way.
@jessicaflux That’s such a cool thing to do, I’ve heard about it but never actually met (OK, cyber-met) anyone who has actually created a new surname like that before.
@drfox I think both [name_f]Isabel[/name_f] and [name_f]Isabella[/name_f] are beautiful! It’s interesting that you changed the name but kept calling her the original version – did you mean for that to happen, or did she just seem more like an [name_f]Isabel[/name_f]?
@greeneyes375 I know someone who’s done something like your first option too: changed a full formal name that they never used to make the nickname the legal first name. But it was a shortening rather than a complete change like yours. Thank you for all the stories, so interesting!
@cecilyg I [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] your name. I’d definitely be glad they stuck with it. Thanks for sharing!
@rcr89 That’s a lovely story, thank you for sharing it. [name_m]Reading[/name_m] your post I can practically hear the relief and happiness in your voice [name_m]How[/name_m] did your daughter adjust to the change? I suppose at 18 months she recognised her name, but perhaps because you used a nickname most of the time it was less of a noticeable change for her?
I thought you’d all be interested to know that the blog on baby name changes has been published today
Due to space, I wasn’t able to include a quote from every single person I heard from (although I would have loved to!) but I just want to thank you all so much again for sharing your experience of this. It really helped me to understand the emotional struggles that people go through over this issue, and the conflicting pressures that they feel both from themselves and others.
I hope you find it reassuring to read that other people have gone through similar experiences!
