I posted on the forum earlier looking for advice on naming a brother for [name_f]Iris[/name_f] and [name_f]Eloise[/name_f]. I had my heart set on using [name_f]Faye[/name_f] for a girl, which we very nearly used for both our first and second daughters. When we found out we were having a boy, the only names we both liked were the boy names that have been on our list since our first child was born, [name_m]Silas[/name_m] and [name_u]Emmett[/name_u]. But it felt like we couldn’t use either for different reasons.
When our son was born we took forever to decide on a name. I was not in a good place mental health wise and with all the post partum hormones, so under pressure to pick something, we decided on [name_m]Silas[/name_m] [name_u]Jude[/name_u] D€ [name_m]Young[/name_m], even though I was worried about how close it is to [name_f]Iris[/name_f]. I had liked the name for a long time and I didn’t want to regret not using it. But I had extreme anxiety over how close the names [name_f]Iris[/name_f] and [name_m]Silas[/name_m] are and I avoided bringing the two of them out together for months. [name_f]My[/name_f] youngest daughter also had difficulty with the name because she cannot pronounce L. So she has called our son [name_m]Cyrus[/name_m] for most of his life (she’s only recently gotten the hang of it). A number of family members have accidentally called him [name_m]Cyrus[/name_m] on more than one occasion as well, which has only made my anxiety over the whole situation worse.
When my son was just a few months old, my husband also told me he doesn’t actually like the name [name_u]Jude[/name_u] as a middle name. I was gutted. I had wanted to pick a name we both liked equally, and regret that we used a name he doesn’t like. And if I was being honest I didn’t personally like the flow of the whole name together either. So I insisted we work on finding a new middle name. Months of conversation ensued, but we couldn’t make a decision. I think because I wasn’t feeling settled on the first name.
Looking back I wish we had just called our son [name_u]Emmett[/name_u] [name_u]John[/name_u]. At the time, I didn’t like the repeated initial and the fact that [name_u]Emmett[/name_u] is quite a bit more popular or that his first and last initials could be tease worthy. But I think I could have more easily dealt with these negative drawbacks. More so than feeling like I gave my eldest and youngest almost the same name.
[name_f]My[/name_f] husband actually suggested we change our sons name to [name_u]Emmett[/name_u] [name_m]Silas[/name_m] [name_u]John[/name_u] at around 6 or 7 months old. But I wasn’t 100% sure. I was worried about the embarrassment of telling family and friends. And worried I would regret letting go of a name that I loved. That maybe over time I would feel less anxious about it and fall back in love with the name [name_m]Silas[/name_m]. So we waited. And now it kind of feels like it’s too late. While I’ve mostly avoided using his name where possible, he’s [name_m]Silas[/name_m] to everyone else around him. It’s becoming harder to picture him with another name and I just feel terrible about the whole situation.
At this point, my husband and I have agreed that it would be best to make some kind of edit. And we’ve almost run out the clock as our son is 11 months old.
Our first thought is that we change his name to [name_m]Silas[/name_m] [name_u]Emmett[/name_u] [name_u]John[/name_u] D€ [name_m]Young[/name_m]. This way we include both of our boy names along with a family middle name. We could also potentially start calling him by his middle name, but if not, at least the name I would have used, [name_u]Emmett[/name_u] [name_u]John[/name_u], is included in his full name. I’m not usually a fan of double middle names, but this seems like the most logical solution.
Our second thought is to go back to the idea of [name_u]Emmett[/name_u] [name_m]Silas[/name_m] [name_u]John[/name_u] D€ [name_m]Young[/name_m], and either continue to use [name_m]Silas[/name_m] as his preferred name or switch to [name_u]Emmett[/name_u]. But I’m really not sure about this. This solution seems fraught with the most uncomfortable and awkward conversations.
The last idea is to leave his first name as [name_m]Silas[/name_m] and pair it with another family middle name, like [name_m]Silas[/name_m] [name_u]Robert[/name_u], or just a name we like that pairs nicely. The hope would be that eventually my feelings of name regret would get better, and that I can let go of the name [name_u]Emmett[/name_u].
Please help me! What should we do? I’ve been driving myself nutty over this for the last 10 months. I feel so much shame and guilt about the whole situation and I a. So worried about getting it wrong again, that it seems impossible to make a decision. I also feel a lot of pressure as this is most likely our last baby and I just can’t decide between [name_m]Silas[/name_m] and [name_u]Emmett[/name_u].
