My father recently passed, and I had a relative suggest that I use an honor name for baby #2 which is due in [name_u]January[/name_u]. [name_f]My[/name_f] relative was just being thoughtful, but truth is my father and I weren’t the closest until the last few years of his life. I’ve never really given thought to honor names, and now I feel I should have used one for my first child who was born 1 year after my mother passed. I don’t know why it didn’t cross my mind. I wouldn’t want to use one of my parents names exactly, but maybe something inspired by their names? Would you use an honor name even if you weren’t very close to that person? Now I feel a bit pressured to do so.
i think it really depends on the name.
its a sort of tradition in my family but if it wasn’t i don’t know if i would.
if u have an inspiration of any sort from the name ten why not imo but if not i think u shouldn’t feel pressured to do so.
If you feel pressured then its already not a fit. [name_m]Don[/name_m]’t be peer pressured. It’s your kid. With most honor names, it’s the first letter of the name, similar/ same meaning, or similar name (length, sound, etcetera). I would personally not use an honor name with someone I knew but was not close too/ didn’t like. I would use an honor name if it was a person I never met but have heard stories about, and it’s a family name or if I just liked the name.
5 Likes
I think it would depend on the situation. If it was a relative I just didn’t see very often then yes I might do but if I had a bad relationship with said relative then I probably wouldn’t. I wouldn’t feel pressured into it though, you can honour your loved ones in other ways by simply speaking to your children about them and keeping their memory alive. You don’t need them to carry a name with them in order to honour them in my opinion.
Sorry for your both of your losses and good luck with your new baby xoxo
2 Likes
I’m sorry for your loss. I think it really does depend on how close you are to that person. I wouldn’t use an honor name if I wasn’t close to that person. I feel like the whole point of using the honor name is because of how much you love, respect, and appreciate everything that that person has done for you. I wouldn’t use an honor just bc everyone expect you to, you wouldn’t want name regret. Also congratulations on your baby!
I wouldn’t use one if i didnt feel close to the relative. [name_m]Don[/name_m]’t use one unless you like the name and really want to honour
I’m so sorry to hear about your father. [name_u]Baby[/name_u] naming is a very sentimental thing for many people, and although ultimately the child grows with the name and makes it their own as they get older, it’s still important for many to give their children names that they can be proud of and lean into as they age.
The problem with honor names is that they can sometimes be almost weaponized (this is a harsh term… maybe the word might be gently manipulated?) in that family/other people can try to guilt trip or annoy a parent into choosing a name that they may not necessarily choose otherwise. This can happen with regular not-honor names too, of course, but I’ve mostly experienced it with familial honor names.
Using an inspired name (ranging from clearly inspired to very loosely and creatively inspired!) but not the exact name seems like a good idea if you want to honor your parents, but if you feel more pressure from those around you than love for the name itself, it might not be the best choice. There are lots of other ways to honor family and loved ones without necessarily naming a child after them, so if you choose not to go down that path it’s not anything to feel bad about. Ultimately, like other posters are saying, follow your heart! Best of luck <3
2 Likes
I’m not personally big on honour names and I am close with my parents. Naming them after a parent who you weren’t close with at all seems unnecessary and kind of pointless to me, honestly.
It’s up to you and how you feel about it. It’s purely sentimental, and a way to pass on a family legacy.
I personally have named for people I never knew personally, but knew great things about them. No one told us to - we wanted to.
We would NOT name for anyone with whom there might have been a negative relationship.
I plan on using honour names, but only for those I’m close to. I won’t be using one for my father, who I’ve never been close to, directly, but he does share a name with both my brothers who I do plan on honouring. I won’t use the exact name of someone living as a first name, but a variation of their name. On the other hand, I will be using [name_u]Lee[/name_u] as a middle name to honour my Papa, which is also my mn; so I guess I don’t mind using the exact names as middles in some cases.
In your case, if you’re not feeling it, don’t let someone pressure you into using honour names.
I don’t think everyone “deserves” an honor name simply because they are/were family, nor do I think anyone “owes” it to a family member to honor them. I think you should honor someone if you feel compelled to (which, honestly, it doesn’t sound like you were, it sounds like you’re feeling pressure or guilt pushing you to do so) and if you think doing so is important or earned. I don’t think you should feel forced to honor your father because of a prying family member though.
I’m not hugo on honor names, and I don’t feel obligated to use them, so I would say only use it if it’s important to you