There’s three years between my daughters and then two years between my younger daughter (the middle child) and my son (the youngest). Three years was good but two is definitely ideal I think. I do want another child but that may or may not ever happen, husband is against it, we are actively preventing. If we were both on board for TTC then I would either want to start right now or stick with waiting a couple years and hope for twins. The “baby fever” is kicking back in lately-there’s a baby due in [name_u]December[/name_u] for friends and my brother-in-law is getting married in the fall, part of the criteria for the honeymoon spot was no place with that virus that affects pregnancies as the virus can live in the woman for several months after contracting it which makes it a pretty safe bet that their going to be TTC from the get go or very soon. A lot of old feelings are being stirred up, mixed feelings as we had several miscarriages while building our family. I do hope my brother-in-law and soon to be sister-in-law have lots of kids though! I’ll be wrestling through the emotions when their first comes along but I do love new little babies in the family.
Back to the original post, what spacing do you like for your kids? If you wanted a fourth and had a 8 year old, 5 year old, and three year old would you go for the next one now or wait a couple years? My spacing was not what I would have chosen, I would have preferred them all spaced two years apart but in my case infertility chose their spacing.
My son [name_m]Hugo[/name_m] is 9, Larkspur and [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] are 4 and [name_f]Theda[/name_f] will be 2 in [name_f]September[/name_f].
I never put much thought into the amount of time between kids, just because with my siblings we all have several years between us. My older brother is 13 years older than me and my sister is 10 years younger. It always worked so well and the three of us are extremely close. Growing up I helped my mom take care of my sister and even with the age difference we were and still are each other’s companions. With my brother too, bonding was never a problem and it was great to have him pick me up at school, drive me places and do fun stuff with me that my parents didn’t have time to do. It helps that my brother was always playful and a goofball.
In my case, at first my husband and I had decided to have a single child, due to us still being young and really wanting to dedicate ourselves to our academic careers and studies. And then we were surprised with [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] and Larkspur who are twins. I had no idea antibiotics cut the effect of contraceptive pills. After we had the twins we really realized how much we wanted an even bigger family - my husband being an only child. We have no regrets whatsoever. We are though talking about this baby being our last, because finances and because 5 kids are a lot of work.
So basically, I don’t put much thought or importance in how many years are between my kids, but more on how I can help them bond, cherish and love each other.
My first two are 13.5 months apart, and then my third is 17 months from my 2nd. Then we had a vasectomy. Then, we changed our minds and reversed it, and had a fourth who is 6.5 years younger than #3. #5 is a little over two years younger than #4.
So I’ve had three under three, as well as the larger age gap between #3 and #4, and then the more reasonable two year gap between #4 and #5. All age gaps have their pros and cons. At the moment, #3 and #4 are the closest emotionally despite having the largest age gap but they also fight plenty.