I’m expecting #1 later this year and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to settle on any names for our little one. I havent even really been able to narrow my lists down to favourites. S/O and I managed to get a bit of a shortlist down for boys (under 20) but we haven’t gotten any further than that and now are at a bit of a standstill for both.
So, if you’ve named a baby, helped name a baby, renamed yourself, or just have any advice in general;
how did you manage to settle on a name and decide that it was the one you wanted to go with?
and; how did you narrow the options down to get to that final choice?
Hey Haley, you have probably heard how I came to name my boy several times over now, so I won’t go into that again (but if you’ve missed it I’m happy to repeat)! I wondered if you could try the @rosepip method of practising calling baby by different names in different contexts Baby Name Test Drive This may help to quickly rule some out that really don’t feel like your child? If so, you could then spend a few days/a week referring to them as the ones that have potential and see how you feel. “Emma is really kicking alot today!.. Charlie’s given me hiccups! …what do you think about lilac in Ella’s nursery?” Etc…
You could also imagine/recreate all the ways their name would be represented in nursery/preschool, like their pegs and coasters, to get a sense of what you like and fits for you visually.
I agree with @EdgeOfTheMeadow that trying out a name for a while definitely helps to figure out if it works for you and your baby. It’s a weird thing because often there’s no logical explanation for it, but even if you really like a name in theory, that doesn’t always mean it feels right for your baby. When I was pregnant we’d always use a name we were considering for a while. I adore the name [name_m]Baltasar[/name_m], for example, and we tried it for a while when I was pregnant with [name_m]Barnabas[/name_m], but when my husband said things like “do you think this onesie would be cute for Baltasar?” something just felt off.
I agree with using [name_u]Baby[/name_u] Name Genie’s Test Drive feature. Personally, I would also put in any nn’s I’d call them on a daily basis (Ex: [name_f]Juliette[/name_f] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] but also ‘Jules’), anything my folks were likely to call them (Ex: [name_f]Juliette[/name_f] [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] nn ‘JuJu’), & what it sounded like in other language’s if I spoke any (Ex: [name_u]Michael[/name_u] but also Miguel). I find Personalization Mall good for seeing how it look’s on blanket’s, onesies, cups, etc.
Take a break from looking at your lists, maybe a week, maybe longer depending on how much time you have. See if any names pop up repeatedly in your mind during that time. After you’ve had a break, start a new list and write down the favorites that come to mind easily, have your SO do the same, compare your lists. Hopefully you have some overlap and the truly great names (for you) stuck out after taking a break from looking at a full, long list of good names. When you have a smaller list, you can also use name meaning to potentially break “ties”. Think about why you like the name and what you would say if your kid asked you, “Why did you name me X?” Not all will, but my oldest already has.
You can also bring options to the name forums once you have things narrowed down. I’ve always preferred the candid, but distanced feedback to the overly-invested-to-have-a-say thoughts that came from family and friends. For one of ours, I did a poll on a different site and even though it came out tied 50-50, I found myself rooting for one which was an answer in and of itself. Once you and SO are set, let go of the lists (and maybe take a forum break) until you have somebody new to name, particularly if you tend to be susceptible to suggestion or doubt.
If you are planning to find out baby’s sex in advance, that helps narrow it down too, but it’s also okay to have a couple top contenders when baby arrives and try them out after birth.
And like the others said, test driving is totally great when you have a short list!
Well I never had more than 10 or so names for either gender and didn’t really think too hard realistically until knowing the sex. Then we bounced around our favorites and slowly eliminated names. I think all the major contenders were:
Willow
Sunday
Ramona
Ada
Lucie
Ivy
Caroline/ Callie
Lorelei
Isla
Isabelle
By the end we were mostly down to:
Willow
Ivy
Isabelle
Most were eliminated by me deciding they weren’t right. Too out there, maybe annoying spelling/pronunciation, too short, etc. A few because my husband didn’t really like them and I didn’t want to choose something he didn’t really like even if he was ok with it.
I did get to a point where I had overthought things and didn’t feel very strongly about any name Im not sure its a bad thing either. In the end I choose based on the one I felt was lovely and classic and had lots of cute nickname options, Isabelle! I also love it written in cursive and like that its 3 syllables.
There’s really not one perfect choice so just have fun daydreaming and try not to make yourself crazy. Do make sure you love saying it and writing it
Oh, I used family names for a middle so that was pretty easy.
Also I am so glad I chose a name before the birth because I don’t think my brain was normal for days with all the hormones and crazy newness of everything.
Honestly I found naming sooooooooooo hard it was exhausting and I felt like I was never going to find the right name it’s long especially as a name nerd.
Firstly give yourself a break from naming sometimes it can be so overwhelming that you actually need time out. I know I did.
I think for me what helped was…
Going through every name I liked and creating a pros & cons list about that name. If I had three more cons they were gone.
Finding out what was important to me when it came to naming for me honouring relatives was important, paying homage to my daughter’s heritage was important, the name having a positive meaning was important and nickname potential was also important. Also as I have dyslexics in my family I wanted to make sure everyone in my family could spell/pronounce her name. I think finding out what were the important factors helped me narrow down my list.
Narrowing down the vibe/style/aesthetics of my baby’s name really helped. For example do you want a 90s barbie girl vibe or are you wanting to take inspiration from the breakfast club and go 80s do you want cottagecore, puritan or gothic. Is dark academia your vibe. I think finding out your vibe helps. For me I wanted European royalty a princess name taking nostalgic inspiration from The Princess Diaries and I think Lilia really hits the nail on the head.
Decide whether to include everyone in your name search or just keep it between you & your partner because I think this will create less confusion or potential misunderstanding. I included my family I wanted their approval but did result in more headache
Helpful tips ~ look at initials do they spell anything awkward. I would do the Starbucks test (ordering a drink in that name) just to see peoples reaction I wish I had done this but the pandemic got in the way. Figure out if the name flows well. Look at the logistics of the overall name do you want two middle names or hyphenated surname for example.
Finally have fun with it! Naming is a big responsibility but should also be fun.
Just wanted to say the berries were a massive help
Naming is so hard, especially having been on Nameberry so long and feeling my taste change over the course of years but also feeling a pull toward the new and fresh.
With both of my pregnancies, I didn’t really have what felt like THE definitive shortlist until like the 8th month. I don’t know if that makes me more or less qualified to say that something will eventually feel right, even if that’s after your little one is here. So it may just be a question of time and where you are in pregnancy.
But with the first I also felt the added pressure of setting the tone for the sibset. [name_m]Just[/name_m] try to avoid psyching yourself out too much with all the hypothetical variables (but go for the fun factor of obsessing of the possibilities in a lighthearted way) and whatever you choose will be right.
I think it’s interesting but most of the cases of name regret we see are not amongst Berries… so rest in the idea that you’ve through your choices thoroughly enough that you know your taste well and can’t go wrong with what you pick in the end (no matter what MIL may have to say).
Im not sure its a bad thing either. In the end I choose based on the one I felt was lovely and classic and had lots of cute nickname options, Isabelle! I also love it written in cursive and like that its 3 syllables.
