How do I stop hating my birth name?

Name Advice
21

Could you maybe use a nickname from your middle if you cant find one from your first that you like? A lot of older names have pretty awesome nicknames or the option for some unique nicknames if you get creative, even if they seem nicknameless.

For example
[name_f]Mary[/name_f] could be [name_f]Molly[/name_f], [name_f]Polly[/name_f], [name_f]Mimi[/name_f], [name_f]Mae[/name_f], Masie
[name_u]Or[/name_u] [name_f]Barbara[/name_f] could be [name_f]Babs[/name_f], [name_f]Bea[/name_f], [name_u]Ara[/name_u], [name_u]Arie[/name_u], [name_u]Bo[/name_u] etc.

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22
Fair warning: a bit of a ramble ahead

I echo pretty much what many of the other people here have said already. I know your situation and mines are different, but I just wanted to add my two cents.

To be honest, the main reason why I disliked my name wasn’t even because of it’s obvious associations but just because I thought the sound of kinda mid. I wanted to change it so bad. [name_f]My[/name_f] last name wasn’t much better in my eyes. Hell I rarely even got teased about it. I just thought would’ve been nice to have a long name, with a variety of letters, some more length, better nicknames, so on and so forth. Overall just unappealing. Also my father would be pretty hurt if he saw that I changed my name. [name_f]My[/name_f] mother doesn’t really have an attachment to my first name as much as my middle name. So I understand where you’re coming from in that sense.

Some things that helped me love my name more is learning from my Dad how I even got my name to begin with (I was not only named after the goddess but also very interesting book too), I looked into the etymology and history behind the name and what exactly is significant about it. After I acknowledged all of that I was like “Huh, this is cool!” and I didn’t see my name as some annoying burden but just a name that people refer to me as and if anything something I should wear with pride. [name_m]Even[/name_m] so I shouldn’t really take it that seriously. As I said before nobody made my life a living hell because of it anyway, so it wasn’t that serious. I would very much change my name though if it became such a huge inconvenience for me. Like I literally couldn’t just go day-to-day life without somebody saying something about it or it’s annoying to hear my name. I can understand as a teenage girl it’s not the best feeling to “stand out” in such a bold way. You don’t have to feel that way, feel free to dabble around with nicknames, use your initials, that stuff.

That said, everybody else’s suggestions are helpful and understandable but it seems to be that you are very disgruntled with your name and that’s not gonna make the cut. There is no real point in trying to fall in love with your name when it is clear you seemed to have tried everything. I learned this myself. I would highly suggest talking to your parents about why you want to change your name and what to, and not just a little talk - like actually explain throughly what the issue is. One day you’re going to be an adult, and you’re going to be in the world. At the end of the day you’re the one who has to introduce yourself to people, apply for jobs and such, and if it really pains to have to say or write that name whenever the time comes, then maybe it’s time to do so.

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23

If your parents are very strict about not letting you go by something else, you could try a nickname that’s not really thought of as an actual name if that makes sense, at least casually with friends or at school. I know that usually these take a long time to develop, though I think if you asked people to start calling you by something more and explained why, it could possibly work. Idk if I’m explaining this well but if it’s a nickname that’s clearly just for fun and not something a person would actually change their name to, your parents might not feel as offended by it.

You could also consider going by initials, so for example if your name is [name_u]Allison[/name_u] [name_f]Judith[/name_f] [name_u]Parks[/name_u], for example, you could be AJ, AP, or JP. Of course this doesn’t work for every name, and would be pointless if you don’t care for that type of name.

I’ve also never been a huge fan of my birth name and it sucks honestly, even though I’d be allowed to change mine if I wanted I’m not sure what I’d change it to, and I’d worry about how people would react. So I can understand the predicament.

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24

If it were me, I’d wait until I was of legal age and then change it. There is no need for you to love it.

1 Like