[name_m]Hi[/name_m] everyone,
I have an intense dislike of my birth name. I hate the way it sounds, the way it looks, the way it feels and I haaate the nickname, which everyone defaults to, I have to tell people so many times before they stop. [name_f]Every[/name_f] time I hear it, it makes me want to flinch. I don’t refer to myself as my birth name mentally, and it feels completely unlike me. However, I’m a teenager my parents love my name. That was the only one they had picked, and my mom had it chosen for many years before I was born. I want to change my name, but my parents would certainly say no, and if I change it even when I become an adult, I fear they’d not forgive me. I have a close relationship with my parents, and since I am a teenager I live with them. I don’t want to make them unhappy, especially my mom, but I can’t keep living with this horrible, uncomfortable name. I’ve tried to bring up how uncomfortable my name makes me, but they say they don’t care. There are only two nicknames, one that comes by default which makes me want to tear my eyes out, and the other is also ugly - both are too masculine for my taste as well.
So, how do I love my birth name? And how do I stop feeling so uncomfortable with it?
Thank you
If you think the right way to go is to try and fall onto love with your name rather than find alternatives, then i would suggest really having a conversation with your parents about why they chose your name and what about it made them love it. You could also look into the history or meaning or other people with this name to get inspired. Maybe look it up on forums where you can see other people talking about what they love about it for their baby.
Good luck. That sounds really hard to go through
[name_u]Trust[/name_u] me, nobody’s loving my name on the internet. It’s in the same era as [name_f]Tiffany[/name_f], [name_f]Sarah[/name_f], [name_u]Ashley[/name_u], [name_f]Amanda[/name_f] and [name_f]Brittany[/name_f] 
[name_f]My[/name_f] mum got it off a TV show she watched as a kid, and my dad had no opinion on names whatsoever.
I really wish I could find an alternative and that they’d let me!!
Are you comfortable sharing your name? This site is the best for name positivity; there are people here with all types of tastes and we are a helpful bunch - even if it’s not our thing, we’ll search for positive connections for you.
[name_m]Ah[/name_m], sorry you’re in this situation - that does sound uncomfortable.
I think there are a few things you could do:
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Maybe you could find a name that you like better to use outside of the house and then try to see your birthname as a ‘home name’ that your parents use, kind of like a nickname or a term of endearment?
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Try to see your birthname as less of a meaningful symbol for your identity and more as just an obligatory label, kind of more impersonal, just something you have that doesn’t actually shape your life or decisions
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[name_f]Remember[/name_f] you won’t be a teen forever. You’ll be an adult and sometimes then, you can just do things and your parents might just have to accept it and move on??
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offer to have the birthname as a middle (or second middle) or get your parents involved in the process of finding a new name?
I think a lot of teen girls go through periods of disliking their name. I know I did. I hated being another “Sarah” at school (not my real name, but it’s similar).
What helped me was getting older - when you’re an adult, you mix more with people of different ages and backgrounds, who are more likely to have different names.
Also, reading about the meaning and history of the name can help. Does it have a positive meaning? Does your name appear in songs, books/poetry, films, TV shows etc? If you’re religious, is there a saint or a famous character from history with your name (to give an example, like [name_u]Joan[/name_u] of Arc)? I appreciate my name much more since I’ve learned the meaning and history behind it.
I agree with all of the other comments but I want to add this. All names have more nicknames than you think, so say it’s a name like [name_f]Jessica[/name_f] — sure, to the eye it’s [name_u]Jess[/name_u] and [name_u]Jessie[/name_u]. But you could also be [name_f]Essie[/name_f] or [name_f]Tess[/name_f]. If you’re comfortable sharing your name I think we Berries can help you out with this dilemma. 
Honestly, as someone who people pleased my parents for years, even at the sake of my own mental health and safety, you may have to find a new name… You can really try your best to like it, but it’s YOUR NAME. YOURS. PERIOD. You will have to go by this name for your whole life, they don’t. And as a parent, id rather my kid be happy and honest than resentful of the name I love 🫶🏼
BUT because of my parents I also understand “dealing” with something until you feel like you have the comfort and freedom to do so, but that could make you more resentful for keeping it than they would be if you changed it 
Is this your full name you are having issues with or just your first name. I’d consider for the time being going by your middle name
While I appreciate others’ posters attempts to be positive - and I do hope you can find a way to love your name, or a creative nickname for it that you like - I’m in the same bag as you, where I started hating my name at the age of seven and I never grew out of it.
I’ve picked a new name that I use online & with friends, which works fine for now, but I’d like to get it changed at some point, if possible (I’m an adult, changing your name is just challenging in my country). The suggestion that others gave you of changing your name but keeping your current name as a middle name is good - and at the end of the day your parents may be upset, but they’ll get over it. Your happiness and comfort comes before their feelings here. So yes, it’ll have to wait until you’re old enough to change it yourself, but nothing’s stopping you from finding a new name to use with people close to you now! Whether that be an interesting nickname of your current name, your middle name, a nickname of your middle name, or something entirely different.
Good luck!
I don’t hate my dead/birth name I actually like it objectively, but sadly that name is just not for me, and then I am changing it. No problems. I tried for years to fit and I cannot. My advice is that you cannot force yourself to like something you don’t. My name has big history and awesome meaning and great nicknames but it is not for me- so my advice: maybe consider going by a nickname or changing your name totally. What are some names you like? A nickname can also be stretchy: Think Essie for Josephine or Posey from Rose and Violet.
You can also go by your birthname as your homename at home as some other Berry said. 
Or use your middle name?If you have one
To end maybe some ideas to research about your name:
- Meanings
- Nice nicknames
- Good namesakes
- Quotes/poems/songs/literary connections (I love those)
I am a big fan of going by the first letter of the name, like V in my case.
I went through a time of disliking my name. It’s okay now. It took a long time but I found a way to like it. I am glad I didn’t change it. I think it would have been dishonoring to my parents who chose it. When I got married, I dropped the more offending parts of my name which meant “bitter.” [name_m]Even[/name_m] that transition was beautiful and purposeful in its way.
I could probably help you find a way to use your current name in a way that might redeem it a bit in your eyes. The other ladies are right… nameberry is a very good place for you to find people who can help you, even if you just want to pick a few ppl to talk with privately (if you’re concerned about privacy!)
Is there a name that you do like? Is there a way for you to test out using that name and see how that makes you feel? Starbucks order, with friends, even here on Nameberry, etc.
No disrespect meant towards others offering suggestions on how to stop hating it (that is what you asked for, after all) but I think you’ve tried all you can. It just doesn’t work for you. Yes, sometimes people have that hating your name stage but grow out of it. However, you’re here asking and I think that shows how serious you are.
Look, as far as parents go, you do the best you can to place a name on a tiny creature you’ve never met and have no way of knowing who they’ll become. Sometimes it just doesn’t fit. It may be disappointing to your parents to hear that you dislike the name they gave you. It may even feel like an attack on them. I’d probably be sad if my child told me he hated his name, I won’t lie. However, as a parent, my emotions are my responsibility and it is my job to support and love them for who they are… I don’t know how yours would react but I hope they’d support a change that helps you be yourself. Once you are legally an adult, they won’t have input on it anyway.
Thank you so much. I might when I’m older and at University, because my current name makes me so so uncomfortable.
I would say just rename yourself a cool nickname (related to your given name or not) as someone suggested if youre comfortable sharing this forum is really good at coming up with inventive nicknames. And keep your given name as a legal name. I know lots of people who have done this, and you get to keep your legal name and get a name you like more…
When you move out just start going by your middle name at school/jobs. Then you don’t have to legally change anything and your parents won’t get mad. They don’t even have to know.
I can’t. It works as a middle name, but it is not at all believable for someone of my age group. A very old name but not one of the one’s that isn’t coming back - an honour name for a relative.
Can’t - it’s an honour name and too old for me to use.
If I could use my middle name, I would have started a long time ago.
Thank you! Definitely trying to find a nickname for it