How do we compromise? Help!

Me and my fiance have very different taste in names. I like more classic names, like [name]Lillian[/name], [name]Evelyn[/name], [name]Claire[/name]. I also like names like [name]Evangeline[/name], [name]Rosalie[/name], [name]Elowen[/name]…
He likes names like [name]Luna[/name], [name]Arwen[/name], [name]Una[/name], and [name]Venus[/name]. Yes, [name]Venus[/name]. I will not have a child named venus. Lol.
Anyways, its almost impossible for us to compromise, because he is dead set on us naming our daughter [name]Luna[/name], while I love [name]Lillian[/name]/ [name]Liliana[/name].
[name]How[/name] do we compromise? I dont want to just say no to his favorite names, and end up naming her something he doesnt like. It doesnt seem fair. But I just cant seem to love the name [name]Luna[/name] no matter how hard I try, and he wont allow any other suggestions. Not even to use [name]Luna[/name] as a middle name.
What do I do?
Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do???

Remind your finance, who seems very literary, that [name]Luna[/name] Lovegood was referred to as Loony Lovegood, and so to would your child be teased and called Loony.

That said, you like the name [name]Elowen[/name]. Remind him this is super close to [name]Eowyn[/name], one of the heroines in the [name]Lord[/name] of the Rings. Perhaps its lterary enough sounding for him, but good for you. Or perhaps you could learn to like [name]Eowyn[/name] since its so close to [name]Elowen[/name], and that could be a compromise name. Perhaps [name]Eowyn[/name] [name]Lily[/name] or [name]Eowyn[/name] [name]Lila[/name]?

Or [name]Elowen[/name] [name]Luna[/name] sounds pretty good, as does [name]Arwen[/name] [name]Claire[/name]…

I don’t think it’s fair for him to insist on a name you don’t like any more than it would be for you to insist on [name]Lillian[/name] regardless of what he thinks. She’s your daughter too and you both deserve a name you love.

Names that could have nickname [name]Luna[/name] and a full version for you:
[name]Lunette[/name]
[name]Lunetta[/name]
[name]Luciana[/name]
[name]Lucerne[/name]
[name]Luanne[/name]

Other thoughts:
[name]Lucia[/name]
[name]Luana[/name]
[name]Lola[/name]
[name]Lena[/name]
[name]Selena[/name] (You know, it’s a stretch but [name]Luna[/name] could be a special nickname for dad, playing on the moon theme)
[name]Luz[/name]
[name]Tallulah[/name] ([name]Lulu[/name]?)

You may have to both scrap the list of names that only one of you loves in order to make a list of names you can love together. My DH and I have had to each let go of names that we love because we know that we’re not going to convince the other to love it too. And really, I wouldn’t want to name a child a name that I had to make him agree to. I’d rather find a completely new name that we can both have an appreciation for, even if its not my original favorite.

This may look like opening up a baby name book and starting from scratch. Each of you could make a list and see where that leads you.

Suggestions (just from looking at your lists and brainstorming possibilities):

[name]Violet[/name]
[name]Imogen[/name]
[name]Eleanor[/name]
[name]Iris[/name]
[name]Aria[/name]
[name]Lyra[/name]
[name]Lola[/name]
[name]Vera[/name]
[name]Leta[/name]
[name]Ione[/name]
[name]Flora[/name]
[name]Lorelai[/name]
[name]Leia[/name]
[name]Petra[/name]
[name]Geneva[/name]
[name]Evadne[/name]
[name]Ariadne[/name]
[name]Olive[/name]
[name]Ivy[/name]

Oh wow, we’re the exact opposite except my husband likes [name]Luna[/name] so I lucked out, haha. [name]Luna[/name] is our top name :smiley:

I think you need to remind him that it is “our” child not “his” or “mine” and the name therefore should be a compromise. Also there’s the whole part where you have to push it out…

I get not wanting to use it as a middle since it is his favorite, but maybe save it for an other child if you plan on having more?

I really wanted [name]Euphemia[/name], but my husband said no and it is still a no and I let it go at that, but it is now a possible middle name. We basically managed to compromise. There are so many names, he has to have more he likes than just [name]Luna[/name].

Anyway, you need to talk to him and make him realize it’s about compromise. If anything you can name her something close in order to get the nickname [name]Luna[/name], like: [name]Lumina[/name] or Lucianna but you have to like the name too.

Also I second the idea of maybe making a list together, get a book and go through it. Or do something where you highlight names you like and he highlights names he likes in another, so you can see what you like individually and what you both like.

My husband just plain ol doesn’t like hardly any names!! I think both parents have to agree. It kind of feels terrible to compromise, but I think it is only fair.

What about Lumia, Lumen, [name]Lena[/name], or [name]Lucine[/name]? [name]Lucine[/name] means ‘moon’ just like [name]Luna[/name].
There’s also [name]Louanna[/name], and your husband could call her [name]Luna[/name].
OR you could luck a first and middle name that can be combined to make [name]Luna[/name], like [name]Lucy[/name] [name]Sabrina[/name] or something like that. That’d be cute and interesting.

[name]Just[/name] popping in to say that, like you, I wish I could get around to liking the name [name]Luna[/name]. I just think of Loony, though, and Lunatic. I mean, same origin, I guess.

[name]Do[/name] you like Lunet/Lunete? Great character/namesake, and he could call her [name]Luna[/name].

[name]Don[/name]'t use lumen. That means the interior of the intestines.

blade, I was going to say the same thing, but decided against it!

He seems unreasonable. You should start again from scratch together. Forget about [name]Luna[/name] and [name]Lillian[/name] and find names you both like.

My husband thought naming was a tremendous joke. Literally the only suggestions he made were scatalogical (and as nameberry is a Family Website, I won’t spell them out). He also knew it was an interest of mine so enjoyed playing adversary. Perhaps yours is similar? If so, take heart that as soon as we were actually in the hospital, he wisened up and became imminently reasonable.

All that to say- you know him. If he’s truly putting effort into his naming choices, and you simply disagree, then you have to do as ottilie says and start over, together, or compromise in some other fashion. If he’s not taking it seriously, keep making your lists and make him pick in the delivery suite.

Well if you don’t like [name]Luna[/name] (or [name]Venus[/name]), do you like any of the other names he suggested? Cause perhaps those you could use as a middle name?

Or don’t compromise. Start looking through names together and you might actually both find a name you really like.

Thanks so much you guys!!!
Im starting to like [name]Lunette[/name], but we’re going to do as you all suggested and make lists together. There has to be something out there we can agree on. Thanks for the help. :slight_smile:

Shares the oo of [name]Luna[/name] and [name]Una[/name] but more vintage and mainstream like your taste:

[name]June[/name]
[name]Louisa[/name]
[name]Lucy[/name]
[name]Ruby[/name]

Relatedly but more edgy:
[name]Juna[/name]
[name]Junia[/name]
[name]Juniper[/name]

Spacey like [name]Luna[/name] and [name]Venus[/name] (and by a stretch, [name]Arwen[/name])

[name]Diana[/name]
[name]Esther[/name]
[name]Phoebe[/name]
[name]Solana[/name]
[name]Solina[/name]
[name]Stella[/name]
[name]Tara[/name]
[name]Talitha[/name]

I am sure you will get there!

You don’t see to be that far from each other if you like [name]Elowen[/name] and he like [name]Arwen[/name]. Find a middle ground in Celtic names. Sounds like you’ll both have to let go of you very favorites unless you just have two kids.

Sorry to (partially) burst a newly-formed bubble, but I wouldn’t choose lunette. It means “sunglasses” in French.

Yes, we have! We went with a totally different name altogether. It may not be your favorite option but that way no feelings get hurt. If not, [name]Luna[/name] [name]Lillian[/name] might be the name.

I also think Loonie or Lunatic when I hear [name]Luna[/name]. The connection to the moon is lovely but I think I prefer just [name]Moon[/name]…in the middle.

Maybe something like [name]Louisa[/name] [name]Nancy[/name] could be you to nn [name]Lou[/name]-na.

[name]Louisa[/name]
[name]Luella[/name]
[name]Lucille[/name]
[name]Lucinda[/name]
Talulah
Lubov
[name]Luba[/name]

[name]Nancy[/name]
[name]Nahla[/name]
[name]Nanette[/name]
[name]Nell[/name]
[name]Anna[/name]

If you aren’t into this combo nickname thing maybe

[name]Nova[/name]
[name]Iona[/name]
[name]Io[/name]
[name]Estella[/name]
[name]Stella[/name]
[name]Celeste[/name]
[name]Moon[/name]
[name]Raya[/name]
[name]Silvia[/name]
[name]Willa[/name]
[name]Twila[/name]
[name]Ursa[/name]
[name]Oona[/name]
[name]Diana[/name]
[name]Flora[/name]
[name]Gioia[/name]
[name]Hailey[/name]
[name]Lana[/name]
[name]Lara[/name]
[name]Lorna[/name]
[name]Juno[/name]
[name]Kira[/name]
[name]Nina[/name]
[name]Anais[/name]
[name]Zara[/name]
[name]Zinnia[/name]
[name]Calla[/name]
[name]Vera[/name]

What about [name]Elena[/name]?
Kind of a mixture between [name]Elowen[/name] and [name]Luna[/name]…