[name]How[/name] do you know whether a name fits a child?Personality,appearance or something?
I have no children of my own yet, so I can only give you secondhand advice. My parents chose all of our names in advance. They felt it would be sad to make the child wait unnamed in the world till they could make up their minds, so they had a boy’s name and a girl’s name all ready before the birth. We grew to fit our names; we weren’t named based on whether or not we looked like we fit the name they’d chosen.
Theoretically, I see the appeal of taking several name options to the delivery room and waiting to meet the baby before you make a final choice. I’ve read enough stories on here to believe that this is the best option for some couples. If you’ve made it to within a few days of the due date and you’re panicking over names, why not take your top three choices along and let the baby be the tiebreaker? I don’t think it’s a tragedy if you can’t name the baby the moment after its birth. I imagine a name’s “fitness” to be based on a combination of appearance and personality. For some names, I have mental images that other names don’t fit as well–for example, [name]Julian[/name] for a dark, distinguished-looking gentleman and [name]Toby[/name] for a jolly, boyish-looking man. A couple months ago I met a man named [name]Grant[/name] who looked more like a [name]Glen[/name] to me. But different people will have different images for different names, and after all, it’s the child who makes the name, not the name the child.
Best wishes!
I agree with the above comment. With our son we had a name picked out and went to the hospital with it, and we did not change our minds. Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I had picked the other name we wanted, but my son has grown into his name and I can’t imagine him with any other name. Now that doesn’t work for everyone like the above comment stated. My sister in law doesn’t tell anyone what she is going to name her children because she doesn’t know until she meets her child. Personally for me that is way to much stress not going to the hospital with at least a few names. But that works for her. I think children can grow into their names. I can’t look at a baby and tell what name would fit them based on what they look like because their appearance is going to change so much and so will their personality.
Your name grows to fit you.
[name]Anne[/name] [name]Shirley[/name] says in [name]Anne[/name] of Avonlea something to the effect that you should strive to make your name reflect memories that are beautiful and kind to all those who know you.
I agree with that. You make your name what it is. And while it might be harder to make a name like [name]Hortense[/name] seem beautiful. Your personality will be reflected in your name to all who know you.
Naming shouldn’t be based on looks or personality, your baby isn’t a puppy or a novel character. If you pick something that you love and raise your child to act in love and goodness I think you’ve done your job name-wise 
IDK how it works but seeing her is how I decided my daughters name. We had a couple names we had been torn between the front runner was [name]Allyson[/name] [name]Delaney[/name], but when she was born she didn’t look like an [name]Allyson[/name]; she just looked like she needed to be named something “different”. And with that I decided her first name should be [name]Delaney[/name] (which was never a fn option…lol). I am glad I went with my gut when I saw her, her name suits her perfectly.
But with my other daughter, we had a set name and went with it. shrug I guess it really just depends.
I know some people pick out multiple names and await the arrival of their child to choose which one fits, but like most people here, I was named a few months in advance. I like being prepared, so I think I would choose several names and await the arrival, and hope that one of the names fit. However, there’s always going to be that one name that you love most … or perhaps the parents don’t agree by the time of the birth, so there’s more strain.
I’m starting to not make sense 
lol
I personally think whatever you name your child it will fit their personally. You will make it like some names can be sweet or sassy just whatever you make it and if not you could use a nn. I think it just works itself out and if not you named your child that for a reason and you should be proud of that name!!! :). hehe
I think it could go either way–have a name picked out and be set on it, or wait to decide at the hospital. Before my sister was born, it was 100% decided she was going to be [name]Rebecca[/name]. There was just no question. My parents didn’t like any other name, lol. But with me, they had 3 names picked out. After they met me they still couldn’t decide. So they tried each one out, [name]Jennifer[/name], [name]Alexandra[/name], and [name]Ashley[/name], and I bawled when I heard [name]Jennifer[/name], whimpered when I heard [name]Alexandra[/name], but I was happy as a clam for [name]Ashley[/name], so that was my name. So I guess I picked it, haha. And then with my brother, he wasn’t supposed to be a [name]John[/name] [name]Robert[/name], III, at all, it wasn’t even on the table (in fact, my mom made my dad promise her that he wouldn’t even suggest having a III before she would agree to marry him. Ha!). They had several names picked out ([name]Levi[/name], [name]Matthew[/name], [name]Charles[/name], [name]Andrew[/name], etc., I think?), but when he arrived and my mom saw my dad’s face, and she could just see how much he truly wanted a son named after him, so she caved and was like, “His name is [name]John[/name] [name]Robert[/name].” Apparently my dad was over the moon, haha. I was 2, so I don’t quite remember. And then with my baby sister, she was supposed to be [name]Melissa[/name], they had even started filling out the paperwork, but my mom really didn’t like it, she’d been pushing for [name]Natalie[/name] all along, but my dad didn’t like it since he couldn’t put a face to the name. Then a very nice nurse’s aide or something helped to deliver my sister, and she made a great impression on my parents, and her name was [name]Natalie[/name], so my dad was like, “Okay, she can be [name]Natalie[/name].” haha.
I think it just depends for each family–and, really, for each baby! I don’t think it really matters whether you have a name you’re 100% set on before the baby arrives, or if you wait until he/she gets her to decide. I think you should just do what works for you. I always assumed that if I took a list to the hospital, I would see if it fit the personality of my baby, and his/her appearance. I don’t know. I figured once I met him/her, I would just “know”. I haven’t decided which I’ll do, I guess maybe it’ll depend on whether I can decide on a name in time. That’s still years away, though, so I’m not too concerned at the moment.
I tend to think the name “fits” if it’s a name the parents love. A child’s name, looks, and personality all coalesce to form his or her overall identity. That identity changes as the child grows and changes.
My husband and I firmly decided each of our children’s names in advance, which worked well for us (even though we barely managed to agree on boy names).
As ashthedreamer illustrated, choosing the name before or after can both be the right decision, it just depends on the situation.
BTW, ashthedreamer, I loved hearing how you and your siblings were named. I never get tired of hearing the story of how you helped name yourself. It always makes me smile. (And, of course, I love how your sister, [name]Rebecca[/name], got her name, since that’s the same for my daughter.) And for your brother’s name: [name]How[/name] sweet that your father loved your mother enough to give up having J.R., III, but then your mother loved him enough to give it back to him. Very touching!
Aww, I always thought it was a weird story, lol. Very few babies pick out their own name! But it’s a fun story to tell. Definitely unique, lol. And well, [name]Becca[/name]'s naming story has a whole different layer for me–one day on the way home, my mom was like, “What name do you want your sister to have?” I was four at the time, and that week for Sabbath School (my church’s version of [name]Sunday[/name] School–we don’t attend on [name]Sunday[/name], haha), we were learning the story of [name]Isaac[/name] and [name]Rebekah[/name]. We’d literally just read the story the night before. And I was like, “[name]Rebecca[/name]!” And then she was named [name]Rebecca[/name], so all along I thought I had named me AND her! lol. My parents didn’t even think to correct me until I was into college. I was sort of crushed, lol. My parents just thought it was the icing on the cake that the name I wanted was also the only one they had liked, so I guess it worked out. 
I think it can depend a little on how much of an “image” a name carries- my parents had the name [name]Ellen[/name] picked out before Mom was even pregnant, but it suits me and always has. That said- an [name]Ellen[/name] could be bookish or flirty or talkative or tough, and it would fit. You wouldn’t blink if you met a CEO or a [name]Marine[/name] or a waitress named [name]Ellen[/name]. I think if a name carried a stronger image with it, you might need to see the baby or even try it out for a few days to get a sense of whether or not it would “fit.”
Ashthedreamer - Thanks for sharing the rest of the story about your older sister’s name. I can understand how crushed you must have felt to find out you’d been kind of set up to pick the name [name]Rebecca[/name]. Nonetheless, you all made a great choice. So, it turns out there is an elaborate AND very unique story behind each of your and your siblings’ names!
haha, I guess so. BTW, she was my little sister. I’m four years older than [name]Becca[/name], haha. I don’t know why I shared our birth stories in the way that I did.
I dunno, I find it kind of arrogant? for lack of a better word to have the name picked before meeting the child. I mean, you don’t know the child or anything about them, and you’re giving them a name for life.
I’d at least wait to see them before picking out a lifelong, important, obvious “gift”.
I plan on having at least two names to go in with, although now I’m pretty darn 100% on [name]Alessandra[/name] for my first daughter. I just love it so much, however, middle names will definitely be picked after I meet her. And will be open to other ideas if [name]Alessandra[/name] just really doesn’t feel like her.
That might be hypocritical with what I said before, but it’s how I honestly feel.
And I think that has to do with the fact that my brother’s were named after they were born. We had a list, and my mother was pretty 100% on my first brothers name, but she let me put my input and and ended up with my suggestion. It was a religiously important name and she said she couldn’t say no that suggestion, so her number one went in the middle since it sounded better there. We just call him by his middle though.
My second brother, we all brainstormed and had ideas. Discussed it a lot and all, we had names that were the top and then when he was born we gave him a name and waited like a week or something to see if it actually fit, and it did.
To answer the OP, I think that it’s a “mother’s intuition” kind of thing knowing if the name fits or not. When you see your baby, you just know in your heart if it’s the right one or not. Also, I think any name given with lots of thought, love and meaning will fit. Kids tend to grow into their names. Keyword: tend.
Oops, that was dumb of me. Of course, you have to be older! (I got it stuck in my head that [name]Rebecca[/name] was first and didn’t adjust that assumption when you gave new facts to the contrary.) Anyway, it’s great you have this entertaining 4-part story you can pull out of your pocket anytime in life when you need a good story to tell!
My parents had two (I think it was only two) options picked out at the hospital. I was not [name]Elizabeth[/name], so I got the other name. I couldn’t see myself as an [name]Elizabeth[/name], though I wish my mom had gone with a name she loved but was shot down by my grandma: [name]Scarlett[/name]. Similar thing with my sister, actually it was between [name]Elizabeth[/name] and her name. I don’t know about my brother, and my youngest sister’s name was picked out beforehand.
The naming stories out of the way, I (being somewhat of a control freak) would want the name to be picked out already, or at least have 2 or 3 choices. I couldn’t stand going to a hospital without a name and then pick something stupid because I hadn’t done any research. That would never happen though. I’m too much of a name-nerd.