I read these topics and I see people slaving and agonizing over what middle name to use with the first names they like, and I wonder… Within reason, how important is it, really? If we’re talking names that actual children are soon going to be given, and their middle name is not going to be a family name or tribute, is it really so important whether it “goes” and flows perfectly? Honestly, unless you personally hate your middle name with a burning passion or it creates an embarrassing group of initials, how often do you really think about it? It’s useful inasmuch as we need to put it on a few forms now and again and otherwise it is just a formality, used at things like weddings and funerals. Out of all the people you know, including yourself, how many names (first, middle, and last) are these brilliant creations that flow like poetry and sound “perfect?” [name_m]How[/name_m] often do you think about anyone else’s middle name, whether you know it or not? Having a middle name is just tradition, and it’s really not something to agonize over, in my opinion. Yes, it should be something attractive to you, but beyond that level of concern…?
[name_f]My[/name_f] question is to people NOT choosing family names/namesakes/tributes as middle names for their children. If the “perfect” middle name is important to you, why?
To me personally, middle names are an important part of family/cultural heritage. They’re an opportunity to fit in meaningful names if that’s important to you.
Otherwise I do think it’s quite pointless, if you’re just using middles to look or sound prettier. Obviously that’s an entirely valid reason that lots of people use, I just wouldn’t. I didn’t really want to honour grandparents/heritage/things important to me, then I just wouldn’t give middle names a thought at all.
The middle name was often embarrassing in my family. [name_f]Dominga[/name_f], Drako, [name_f]Concepcion[/name_f], [name_f]Dorcas[/name_f]. The middle was where you tucked away the ugly honor name that we must keep because it is a traditional family name. And you love your family, don’t you?
When I sweat over a middle name it’s because I desire a future where a friend asks, “What’s your middle name, little girl?” And my child says, “[name_f]Ava[/name_f].” And the reaction is: “Oh that’s so pretty! [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] [name_f]Ava[/name_f]!” …Because currently [name_f]Dominga[/name_f] or Drako elicits the reaction: “Oh. Uh… Is that a family name?”
I don’t have a middle name. As a name nerd, I can honestly say this doesn’t bother me in the slightest: I don’t feel deprived, I’m not traumatised, no counselling has been required, and no UFO has crashed into my roof, because I’ve broken the laws of nature :). Most people actually think its pretty cool that I don’t have one.
I love middle names for the purpose of something meaningful. [name_f]My[/name_f] parents didn’t have anyone they particularly wanted to honour, and they loved [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] so much, they couldn’t think of another name to go with it, apart from [name_f]Lauren[/name_f]. [name_f]Lauren[/name_f] was ditched because of [name_f]Sofia[/name_f] [name_u]Loren[/name_u], and that was that. [name_f]Flora[/name_f] was the middle name of my great grandmother, and [name_m]Roland[/name_m] is the name of a book character that means a lot to me, and was a big bonding point between my dad and I, growing up. I personally love middle names to be meaningful, and a name I absolutely adore and love as equally as the first name, whether it be via the personal meaning, a strong virtue name ([name_m]Noble[/name_m], [name_m]Prosper[/name_m], [name_m]Bravery[/name_m]), an honorific, etc. I don’t pick out a middle name just because it ‘flows’ well with the fn. I don’t really care that much about flow, to be honest. That’s just me though.
No one has middle names here! Perhaps its just something mostly Europeans and Americans would do.
I think its either a
family tradition
to honour a family member
because it sounds nice with the first name
to have an alternative name in case the bearer doesn’t like the first
more nickname options! which most people love
because its more unique! some first names are common, some last names are common so perhaps having three names (or even four!) makes the bearer more unique?
I do. It’s my mothers maiden name - it’s pretty nifty, actually.
The reason I like middle names is because it gives a person a name to fall back on if they don’t like their first. I hate my birth name (so I changed it), and would have gone by my middle, but it - as already said - is my mothers maiden name. It would feel like stealing. When I pik middles, I choose a name that I would be happy for my son/daughter to go by if they didn’t like their name.
I don’t have a middle name, but all my siblings do. I really don’t think that middles matter at all, I don’t care that I don’t have a middle, I actually love meeting other people without a middle; it’s like an instant bond haha! All my siblings have family names.
I’m not planning on using family names for middles, I actually find the whole practise of having to pass down names pretty archaic. I do plan on using Elizabeth (my mum’s name) as a middle, but that’s mostly to do with how much I adore the name. All the other middles do have special meanings to me and my husband, though I have considered not using any middles at all; I guess I’ll just decide whenever I meet my baby!
EDIT: @ addie88, just a side note, I just saw in your signature that your name is Addie Elizabeth, is that that short for Adelaide?? Adelaide Elizabeth is one of my favourite names (see signature!)
sunkissedchild, no it’s not [name_f]Adelaide[/name_f], just [name_f]Addie[/name_f], and not short for anything. But [name_f]Adelaide[/name_f] is a good name.
Thanks for all the wonderful feedback, everybody! It has been interesting to find out that middle names are not so universal, after all. I like them, and I think they’re important in some ways, but I would never slave over it.
A name is an aspect of identity, therefore it can be as important as career choice, nationality, religion, etc. The middle name is the part of the name we can (mostly) keep to ourselves or share w/the world as we choose. It can be almost like a secret identity name, or something that connects us with family members and traditions. They should certainly be chosen as carefully as first names.
[name_f]My[/name_f] middle name is [name_f]Alice[/name_f]. I was named after my aunt and godmother so it had family significance. I don’t think anyone should slave over them in agony. The MOST important names are the FIRST and LAST names because we use them more in real life. However, I do think a middle name is almost ESSENTIAL to have in this age of identity theft. For example, if you have a common surname like [name_m]Smith[/name_m] or [name_m]Jones[/name_m], there may be plenty of people who share both your first name and last name in the world. Having a middle name (or two mn’s) would help to differentiate between the individuals. I’ve known people who had their identities stolen by others who shared their fn/ln. They got out of having to repay the money they didn’t owe because they had different mn’s. It’s true we don’t use mn’s very much but they do come in handy in some situations and you may be grateful for having one in the end.
I think the middle name is a good place to use a name you really love, but might not get to use because your SO doesn’t like it, you prefer another name over it, you think it’s a little outlandish for a first name (like some mythological or Tolkien or GOT/ASOIAF names). It’s also a place to put the second half of a double-barrel name (like how I go by [name_f]Mary[/name_f] [name_f]Grace[/name_f], but [name_f]Grace[/name_f] is legally my middle name). And as so many people stress here, it’s a good place to put a name that honors a family member or one’s cultural heritage. Middle names may not be used a lot, but for us name nerds, they’re an excuse for more names, so I say use whatever you like, regardless of significance.
I don’t use my middle name for anything other than a fun trivial fact, and I don’t know anyone who uses their middle name regularly. Actually, I do know one kid who goes by his middle name, but that’s it.
I actually think it’s pretty cool to have no middle name. If the first name is strong enough to stand alone, I think simplicity is very attractive aesthetically - sort of a less is more thing. I don’t know whether I’d actually be brave enough to do it, though - loving names there is always going to be too much temptation to use two per person.
In Iceland it’s totally different to the UK. Growing up, nobody knew my middle name unless they asked, I never used it except on forms / other formal situations. Middle names aren’t like that here - in actual fact people are not really considered to have middle names, they simply have two names. (OK, there is a such a thing as an Icelandic middle name, but it is a completely different and possibly uniquely Icelandic phenomenon, not at all like we understand the concept, I won’t go into it).
Because hardly anyone has a surname here, if you have two first names, they will be used together very frequently and everyone will know that you are e.g. [name_f]Anna[/name_f] Katrín, not just [name_f]Anna[/name_f], even if most people do generally call you [name_f]Anna[/name_f]. There is no such thing as the ‘secret’ middle name tucked away where you can keep it private - no more than we can keep our surnames private. If there are two people named [name_f]Anna[/name_f] in the same class / work environment / friendship group / whatever, the second first names are used to tell them apart. Where in [name_f]England[/name_f] you’d have [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] [mn not used] [name_m]Johnson[/name_m] and [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] [mn not used] [name_m]Smith[/name_m], here you would have Tómas [name_m]Helgi[/name_m] [patronymic not used] and Tómas Jón [patronymic not used]. So here it is VERY important you don’t choose an embarrassing one, where you could pretty much get away with it in the UK.
It’s not really that important what your patronymic/matronymic is - that’s often the part of the name that will be used just for formal purposes and people will have to ask about to know. The patronymic is never never used by itself (e.g. Mr Jónsson), except by foreigners, because it is basically meaningless on its own.
In conclusion: in the UK, not super important. In Iceland, far more important!
Tbh, I’ve never been that bothered about how well middles flow. I usually come up with a few options, and then pick which I think sounds best out of those. Otherwise, I’m usually more concerned about which middles would have more significance, or if I can get the perfect combined meanings within names, or the right feel. I suppose those are some of the reason I like to find ‘perfect’ middles that don’t necessarily honour someone or something. Some names just have really strong images, or feelings (for me) that I have to combine with other names with a similar feel/image. Plus I need all of my combos to have the same number of middles (2) as each other, even if later down the list, I end up just using middles I like, with not as much significance. And for me, it’s not really agonising. I love finding middles for my favourites, using more names I love, and saying combos out loud. It would probably be a different story if I actually was anywhere near having kids, but I’m not, so I really enjoy it.
I personally love having 2 middles, and I really want my kids to feel the same way. If they don’t like it, they needn’t use them, but you can’t exactly give yourself middles as easily as ignore them.
I am one of those people who slave over trying to find a perfect middle name(s) because I want my child to have a perfect name. I do not have any children yet but I am always considering my options and thinking up combo’s for future children. I like the idea of my child having a name that honours someone but it’s not necessarily vital as some combo’s I have on my list do not have any family names in them but I have thought long and hard about the combo.
I’m lucky that I have some family names that are classic names; [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f], [name_f]Florence[/name_f], [name_f]Frances[/name_f], [name_f]Mary[/name_f], [name_f]Rose[/name_f], [name_u]James[/name_u], [name_m]Arthur[/name_m], [name_m]Anthony[/name_m], [name_m]Ronald[/name_m] etc. Then there is my grandparents last name which I’ve used part of in a way to honour them. I like a lot of the family names available to me so I guess I’m lucky, as I wouldn’t saddle my child with a family name that wasn’t very nice sounding. If I were left with a lot of unusable or not so nice sounding family names I’d look at other ways of honouring that person.
Well, where I live most everyone is known by their first and middle name. Mostly because some have the same first name, and others are pet names.
i.e.
[name_f]Lydia[/name_f] [name_f]Joy[/name_f]
[name_f]Donna[/name_f] [name_f]Sue[/name_f], [name_f]Dawna[/name_f] [name_u]Gale[/name_u], [name_f]Donna[/name_f] [name_u]Kay[/name_u]
[name_f]Anna[/name_f] [name_f]May[/name_f]
[name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] [name_f]Catherine[/name_f]-[name_u]Allie[/name_u] [name_f]Cat[/name_f]
[name_f]Eleanor[/name_f] [name_f]Margaret[/name_f]- [name_f]Ellie[/name_f] [name_f]May[/name_f]
and so on and so forth. Its probably just a cultural thing, but they are pretty important in separating people without them having to use their last name/initial.
I don’t think the middle name is overly important but I know a few people who go by their middle names so I guess its different for other people. I can’t really remember the last time I had to tell anyone my middle name and my OH doesn’t even have one so we don’t over think the middle name too much as we feel that the first name is a lot more important.
While I don’t think it’s very very important, I do love having a middle name and it allows the parents/family to honor people and distinguish from each other. Now I love the idea of 2 middle names but I think it makes the name a bit too busy and it’s harder to fit in on paperwork, and they are mostly not used so it feels a bit funny.
I mean this in the nicest way possible but in all honesty I don’t understand why people sweat over middle names so much. I don’t see a point unless there is a name that really means something to you. Eg. someone or something you were extremely close to. When I’m naming my future children, I won’t add a middle name unless I am totally in love with it and MUST have it. If I’m not 100% sure, I may just not bother.
But [name_f]Adelaide[/name_f] is a good name.