My husband and I have different last names and I have absolutely no intention of changing my last name; however, that gets a little tricky when it comes to baby names. We’ve picked out a boy name and a girl name and decided to use his last name if it’s one sex and my last name for the other, based on how the first, middle, and last names sound together. But I’m kind of pondering if it would be good to use the other last name as a “second middle” name so both of our last names are represented.
The issue is that he and I both have very long last names, and both names we’ve picked out for the baby have a long middle name. As much as I want both of our names represented, is it setting the kid up for challenges to have that many letters in his/her name? The name would be 32 letters long if the baby is a boy and 31 letters long if the baby is a girl.
I thought that having the name as a second middle rather than a hyphenated or double last name would be less trouble, but maybe not?
Oh, don’t hyphenate the surnames. I have a hyphenated surname. I hate it. It’s annoying, and unnecessary.
You have your father’s surname (most likely), so let your kids have theirs.
And having different surnames among siblings is just going to bring a lot of questions.
If you MUST have your surname involved then put it as a middle name.
You can do FirstName MiddleName Yoursurnameasmiddlename#2 Surname.
You have your father’s surname (most likely), so let your kids have theirs.
I completely agree with this. Sorry.
If doing so that one gender has one last name, the other has the other last name means your children will have different last names, I’ll say please don’t do that. I had a different last name than my sister and brother and it was always really sad for me. It made me feel disconnected from my father and siblings.
You don’t have to change your surname, you can hyphenate your surname, and let the children have their fathers last name. You can even use yours as a single middle at some point. I think that would be what I would do.
Ex – First name Maiden Name Last Name
Then you get your name in there.
I know two women who have kept their surnames and passed them down to their daughters while giving their sons their husbands’ surnames. It has worked out fine for them, and the kids don’t seem bothered by having different last names.
I’m more inclined to recommend giving the alternate surname as a second middle name than using a hyphenated double surname, just because I think hyphenated surnames are kind of a hassle, particularly when they’re really long. As second middle names, the only problem you might run into is fitting the whole name on important documentation, such as social security cards–I know there’s a letter/space limit, but I’m not sure what it is.
The First Name field is mandatory.
The First Name must be between one (1) and 10 characters in length.
If the First Name is longer than 10 characters, enter the first 10 characters of the First Name.
Enter the First Name using alphabetic characters only.
Spaces, numbers, hyphens, slashes or any other special characters are not allowed.
Middle Name:
The Middle Name field is optional.
If entered, the Middle Name must be between one (1) and seven (7) characters in length.
If the Middle Name is longer than seven (7) characters, enter the first seven (7) characters of the Middle Name.
Enter the Middle Name using alphabetic characters only.
Spaces, numbers, hyphens, slashes or any other special characters are not allowed.
Last Name
The Last Name field is mandatory.
The Last Name must be between one (1) and 13 characters in length.
If the Last Name is longer than 13 characters, enter the first 13 characters of the Last Name.
Enter the Last Name using alphabetic characters only.
Spaces, numbers, hyphens, slashes or any other special characters are not allowed.
So knowing the middle spot is optional, I’d change what I said about one middle name and say you could use your surname as the second middle name.
My name is 30 letters long, 11 syllables. I am [name]Allison[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name] [name]Lorraine[/name] lastname. I don’t think it’s an issue whatsoever, and I think that it would be best for both of your children to have the same last name. I think if you had a boy and a girl, and they have different last names, that would be so much more confusing than having a long name. I think your idea to do first name/middle name/your last name/hubby’s last name, is the best. And would keep your name in the mix, while simplifying things (in my opinion). I probably wouldn’t hyphenate the two last names, but I took my hubby’s last name, so that’s just a preference, not from experience.
We’re only planning on having one child. If that changes, we’d have to cross that bridge when it happens in terms of names, but we’re quite set on only having the one. And, no, I wouldn’t want siblings to have different last names. (Though I know a family that did that and the kids don’t have any ill effects, it’s just not for me. Although maybe that would change in the hypothetical world in which I had more than one child.)
I know that my name is my father’s name, but it has also been my name since birth and I don’t really see why my kid would automatically get his/her dad’s name just because that’s the choice my parents made. I feel like the way we decided was pretty fair: we picked out the names we liked and then chose the last name that went best with each. In all honesty, my husband is less attached to the idea of his name having to be there than I am, so it’s really only me that’s pondering this extra middle name thing. He’s not as attached to his last name as I am to mine. We definitely don’t want to hyphenate our crazy long last names, though! (We had toyed with the idea of just all coming up with a new name, but that seems kind of silly to me, and we’re both linked to our existing names professionally.)
Thanks for the input so far! It’s interesting to see how people might react.
My husband had 2 last names when we married… I took both… we gave our son 2 middle names… so he has a total of 5 names…
he is [name]Josef[/name] [name]Patrick[/name] [name]James[/name] xxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx … very long but really… when will he ever use it???
We used the middle names to honor family and we would never want to change our last name…
So i say go for it! [name]Do[/name] the double last name!
Thanks, backtomyroots! So how does it work in terms of filling out official forms? [name]Do[/name] his names ever have to be truncated when filling out forms? Does that cause any issues? That’s honestly my only worry with it.
I haven’t had time to read through all the responses, but this caught my eye! :
Spaces, numbers, hyphens, slashes or any other special characters are not allowed.
I have three girls with hyphenated first names, who absolutely have the hyphen on their SS Cards…
I know someone with 3 middle names and 31 letters total. She loves her name! I don’t think long names are that big of a deal. Where I live, everyone has to have two surnames, and especially in the Basque Country, a lot of surnames are super long.
I like the idea of using your last name as a second middle name. That seems to be the option of choice for a lot of women who keep their surnames.
Since there’s only one baby here, I don’t think it’s too long. And I do think that if your name is important for you to keep, that your child should also have it, and have your husband’s as well. I think one as the second middle name is best, though.
I’ve had some kindergarteners come through my class with things like this: [name]Tessa[/name] XXXXXXX-XXXXXXXXXXX, and that was the whole day for her, writing that down.
And since it is her legal last-name, she does have to learn to write it. If it were her 2nd middle name, and only one last name, she’d only have to learn one last name, and get the rest of it later
