A good friend of mine and I have both have a child with the same name. We live in different states and see each other once a year. We have really similar naming tastes. I love that our kids share a name and honestly think sometimes it is a little bit inevitable to share names with friends. I figure you are friends in the first place because you have similar taste in lots of things. You are bound to have similar naming tastes with at least someone. She recently had her 4th child and named him a wonderful name. It’s my favourite boys name and in actual fact, the only boy’s name my husband and I agree on. It would have been our daughter’s name if she was a boy. I completely hold no resentment towards her. She’s made a beautiful choice. I just wondered - [name]Do[/name] you think it’s a name I have to give up? Can you share more than one name with a friend?
I think it’s something you would have to talk to her about. [name]Every[/name] friendship is different.
Would you feel uncomfortable asking her outright? [name]Just[/name] say the same thing you said here. I think it’s okay since you live in different states and see each other so rarely. But I would say something now, to lay the groundwork (“We have to stop doing this–that’s the only name my husband agrees with me on!”) so that it doesn’t seem awkward later.
I think sharing one name with a friend would be my personal limit. But, since my SO and I don’t have children and aren’t in a position to seriously need to worry about names it’s hard to say “two is too much” if you really love the name she gave her son and it really is the only name you can agree on then how can you not use it? I would talk to her first though.
(Also it might be different if your older child is older than her name sake. Then it would be like she copied you once and you copy her once, vs you constantly doing the coping. Does that make sense? Either way I would talk to her and her husband about the fact that you are planning on using the name before the baby is born.)
I would consider it the other way for a bit. [name]How[/name] would she feel if you had gotten to it first? Would she still name her son the same name?
Or ask her.
I would be weirded out if any of my friends named their child the same names as mine. It would be hard not to feel like they’re “jacking my style”.