Ok I just want to hear people’s opinions. How much do you think siblings names really matter? Have you ever personally given up a name because it doesn’t match your other kids names? Have you ever met a sibset that had “unmatching” names in your opinion, and what did you think about it? When you’re naming your kids how much do you take it into consideration?
We’re currently trying to name a baby boy and our top 3 names are super different styles. I’m wondering if we go with one name, would we be able to use the others in the future on other kids or would it be just way too weird to have a [name_m]Gideon[/name_m] and then name his brother Odyssey, or vice versa?
Okay, it matters to me personally. And here’s my reasoning. But you can have too close as well.
First, and easiest. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband is one of many children. And I have over 20 nieces and nephews. Very easy to feel lost in the shuffle. Most very Biblical names. Which is good, but if you see my notes below you can see why I have reservations for me personally.
I have met kids whose names are very different, to a point where it sounds like the children don’t know each other, let alone siblings. I’m talking popularity top 30 for two of them and then one not on the charts anywhere.
Personal experience, as a sibling set myself, of me having a very unusual name and my sister having a very normal name for the time? [name_f]My[/name_f] sister has struggled. She struggled to feel special, next to my unusual name.
And I for one am grateful I’ve had a unusual name because I REALLY struggled finding who I am outside of other people, like decades. So if I had had a more normal name I know I would have been affected because if I knew a bunch ladies with my name I would have definitely struggled to feel like I matter outside of the collective, because I felt that anyway.
I do know everyone struggles with those feelings. We as humans always find some ways to feel insignificant. I just feel like not creating unnecessary resentment between siblings or feelings of lack is something I should do as a parent.
This isn’t necessarily related directly to the sibset but I’ve read a lot of research about pros and cons of ‘normal names’ vs ‘unusual’. Unisex vs gendered. I spent time talking to a guy who worked in a mental institution that called names spelled “younikely” access two names, because those people often ended up in the access two psych ward. I have lived with an unusual name for a few decades now.
And truly, what I can say for certain is whatever name you name your child do the original spelling if there is one. Statistically that unique spelling does hurt kids chances vs having a unique name.
If you’re gonna name them stylistically different, spell them [name_m]Gideon[/name_m] and Odyssey. Not Giddyon and Otticy. And I think popularity matters more than style. If you’re name one kid [name_u]Liam[/name_u] and one kid [name_m]Obadiah[/name_m]. I feel like that stings more than [name_m]Bramwell[/name_m] then [name_m]Obadiah[/name_m].
So does it matter in the long run? It depends on your kids imo. It mattered to me and my sister.
I can definitely relate to having identity issues related to your name. Growing up as an [name_f]Emily[/name_f] I always felt like I wasn’t special because there’s so many of “me.” But I feel like I was an extreme case because my name was #1 on the charts for so long. I wonder how much of a popularity difference would effect siblings. Would [name_m]Gideon[/name_m] whose in the top 400 and Odyssey who’s not on the charts have trouble? It’s so hard to say also because everyone’s different and of course there’s no way to tell the future or anything. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about a lot as we try to name our first baby because I’m realizing a lot of our names are so all over the place.
While I prefer sibling names to feel kind of cohesive, I think it’s totally subjective as to what goes together? I think Tristan and Sarai fit together but I know others have said they don’t.
The main thing for me though is that i love the name and I think that takes priority over a perfectly matched sibset.
I’ve also realised matching sibsets matter a lot less out in the world than they do on Nameberry. I’ve met several sets that arent perfectly cohesive and to be honest, other than thinking, that’s unexpected, I haven’t dwelled on it
Some I’ve met:
Sunsh!ne and @rthur (probably the one that i thought was most mismatched and actually even my non-namenerd mum commented on) @rtan and El!jah (totally different and yet they work)
Ol!via and Ed!e (totally different popularity and style yet again, they work to me)
J@mes and H1llary (feel different in style and popularity but they still work)
M!llie and @rabe11a (different length and style but doesn’t strike me as odd)
I guess what I’m trying to say is that lots of people have sibsets containing different styles and I don’t think it’s as important as it sometimes seems on here
hmmm this is tricky. i think, as has already been said, that to a certain extent how a sibset “matches” is totally subjective — different people will see sibsets in different ways. and what’s most important is that the names are loved, of course. that being said, i feel like there definitely can be an issue if some siblings get really “out there” names and others don’t. my family’s sibset is elizabeth, ch@pm@n, gr3sh@m, and phoebe. people often ask me why my brothers got the “weird” names and my sister and i got “basic” names. i think this is more an issue for my brothers of course though, because they always have to deal with people commenting on and making jokes about their names, in comparison to me and my sister who have fairly average names. i guess it’s just important to reflect less on cohesiveness for aesthetics, and more on the impact of that cohesiveness (or lack thereof) if that makes sense.
I also wonder how often in life do siblings names even get mentioned together. I know as parents it can be hard to imagine our child’s life outside of our home and family, but realistically in my daily life I’m rarely ever thinking about my siblings’ names. It may be noticable when they’re little because they’ll often be together but for most of their life they’ll be an individual. But nameberry is constantly talking about sibsets and makes me wonder.
I think, for me personally, I wouldn’t judge other people’s sibsets at all but I would want my kids names to go together. It is subjective so I may think they go together while other people don’t.
I’m not planning to have kids in the near future so making a “sibset” helps me to feel closer to my future (future kids but also future in general).
It makes the names feel more real - it’s the same with middle names. I may go with something kind of incohesive in the future but, in planning, I want the imageries/vibes/feelings to go together.
That’s a good point - I only knew most of these sibsets because I used to teach swimming and so kids would usually come to lessons together. And you’re right, that’s only when they’re little.
That definitely makes sense to me as well! I definitely think it’s way different naming an actual child. I’ve always loved names and have kept baby name lists for as far back as I can remember, but now that it’s an actual real person I am giving a name to it’s not as easy as I thought it would be, and I’m starting to wonder if all these other things really matter as much as just really loving the name.
I will say as the younger of two this was actually quite common for me in school because I was “such and such’s sister” Being two years apart my sister was still fresh in the teachers minds.
Also another thing you touched on is having a popular name growing up. I feel how one handles a popular name also varies. As a Kristina growing up I had not only those with my name but also all of those with variant of my name Kristin, Kristen, Kris, Kristal, Tina, Krissy, Christine’s and yes even on the boys side Christopher. Not to mention ALL the endless spellings of those names just mentioned. I dont think it bothered me much… the one annoyance was that growing up I was called Kris but with all the above names mentioned above I had to let the nickname go. Even now my hubby has brother named Chris! I did find it and still find it more amusing but thats kind of my odd personality at hand… and know that maybe everyone wheres their names diffrently and would handle having a popular or “out there” name differently.
I do understand where you’re coming from in that approaching my kids names I also have put in the criteria of “avoiding of the popular”… not necessarily because of my experience per sey but for me when a name is heard so often (even on nameberry) it kind of loses something in the appeal for me. Also for my husband and I we wanted names that had a more obvious biblical connection then say the culutral normalized Matthew, Mark and Mary
For me, I think it’s important for siblings’ names to match. Because [name_m]Gideon[/name_m] and Odyssey do not go well together. If it was [name_m]Gideon[/name_m] and [name_m]Frederick[/name_m] or Odyssey and [name_m]Apollo[/name_m], then it would match. But I mean you can still use both just one for a child; [name_m]Gideon[/name_m] Odyssey or Odyssey [name_m]Gideon[/name_m], and name a child similar to that style; Odyssey [name_m]Gideon[/name_m] and [name_f]Soleil[/name_f] [name_f]Genevieve[/name_f], or something like that.
In my personal opinion it has little to no importance. These are people that your naming, that dolls or sims that are supposed to have matching names.
Now there are people who go by a certain theme like [name_u]Nature[/name_u], Biblical, Unisex, or whatever, and that’s perfectly fine. But at the end if it bothers you, there are thousands of beautiful names out there. I’m sure there one that will fit.
I totally get what you’re saying. I always thought that I would only want names that went together, but now that I’m naming an actual baby I’m starting to wonder how important that actually is. But I can also appreciate different people having different opinions on it, so maybe for some reason it actually is worth it to not use a certain name because they don’t feel it fits with the rest of their kids names.
But also the more I say/hear/write all three names we’re deciding between (Gideon, Odyssey, and the 3rd is Rivet), I’m starting to like them together more. At first I thought they were way too different, but it’s growing on me. So maybe any sibset can work as long as you get used to it?? And, who knows, by the time we’d have another baby maybe our top names would change anyway
I recently did a poll where I asked whether people would rather be named [name_f]Ofelia[/name_f] or [name_f]Flora[/name_f] (I did say that the [name_f]Ofelia[/name_f] spelling would be used in a country where it’s more familiar) and the split was pretty even.
I basically wanted to know if, even though the names have slightly different vibes, people viewed them as equal. Of course that is not to say that the names themselves didn’t also influence the vote, however, I do think that many similar names (style-wise) would have received a similar result.
All that to say that I don’t think sibsets need to match perfectly stylistically but that I do think the names should feel somewhat equal in their history and usage.
Agreed. I know the names I have on my list have been questioned as to whether or not they go together, but they do to me and that is what matters. My SO, kids and I are the ones will be see these names together everyday… the rest of the world will only know my kids as a collective unit for a relatively short time in the entirety of their lives before they are more known as individuals.
I think that, as long as it doesn’t look like the kids’ names aren’t extremely different so they look like two different families named them, I think whether or not they match is subjective.
I honestly don’t think they have to ‘match’. I think it’s nice when they do, but I don’t really care if my future children’s names match or not. They’re all different names, and all different kids so, I just don’t see what the big deal is. If you like 2 names that are super stylistically different, go for it and name your kids those names.
I gave up the idea of a coherent sibset when I was pregnant with my second son. [name_f]My[/name_f] three youngest have a different father than my oldest, so that helped me to let go of that idea, but still. I don’t think the names in a sibset have to match necessarily, and what “matches” is subjective anyway. [name_f]Do[/name_f] they have to have the same origin? Be equally long, or be equally popular? I don’t really care about that sort of thing.
I mean, a [name_u]John[/name_u] with a sister Adromeda might make me frown, but other than that… [name_m]Just[/name_m] use the names you like.
When my husband and I were naming our sixth, I wondered if the name we chose fit the feel/theme of our other kids’ names. His response: “Yes. The theme is ‘names we liked and chose for our kids.’” (In truth, we’re nerdy and have a lot more meaning behind their names, but I liked his summary anyway!)
Each kid is going to go on and live his or her own life, and I think did my name match with my siblings’? is a pretty small part of that.
[name_m]Gideon[/name_m] and Odyssey go great together! [name_m]Even[/name_m] if stylistically they are different, they are both 3 syllable names with o, n and e. They flow so well that [name_m]Gideon[/name_m] Odyssey could be a combo!
Sibsets matter to some extent, but not fully. One of my sibsets is [name_f]Natasha[/name_f] [name_f]Gwendolyn[/name_f], [name_m]Wilbur[/name_m] [name_m]Santiago[/name_m], [name_f]Felicity[/name_f] [name_f]Vienna[/name_f] and [name_u]Finnegan[/name_u] [name_m]Cassander[/name_m]. [name_f]My[/name_f] other one is Adeluna [name_f]Morning[/name_f], [name_m]Jeremiah[/name_m] Driftwood and [name_f]Ophelia[/name_f] [name_f]Ivy[/name_f]. The latter is much more coordinated, the flows are better, but in the end I would always choose the first. [name_f]Natasha[/name_f], [name_m]Wilbur[/name_m], [name_f]Felicity[/name_f] and [name_u]Finnegan[/name_u] are entirely different styles and popularity. The flow isn’t as nice. But I love those 4 first names, and all the firsts and middles are names I really love and have special meaning. Driftwood and [name_f]Morning[/name_f] are not my fave names, and do not have any meaning to me despite the flow and vibes.
(In truth, we’re nerdy and have a lot more meaning behind their names, but I liked his summary anyway!)