How much do you avoid siblings sharing first initials?

General Name Discussion
1

To some people, it’s a big faux pas. To others, it doesn’t matter at all. I don’t know how I feel, honestly, but I’m trying to figure it out.

With a set of 3, how much stock would you put in each child having their own first initial? If you love a handful of names but always return to two of the same initial, would you try to hide one in the middle place or forego it altogether or would you bestow them each proudly to your child nonetheless?

Is it off-putting for 2 of 3 to share but not the other?

Does sex have any say in the matter? Is it easier to imagine two daughters sharing initials while their brother is left out? Or is it easier to suppose a brother and sister share while their other sibling is left out? What if it’s three girls or boys and only two share?

Does birth order matter? Is it more off-putting if the first two share initials, making the third look like an afterthought? The latter two? What if the middle child is excluded?

[name_f]Do[/name_f] your feelings change whether they’re all singletons or if there are twins or triplets?

[name_f]Do[/name_f] syllables, meanings, origin, length, ending, etc. change your views? My husband shares his first initial with his only sibling, his sister. Products of the 80s, they not only share the same initials, they also share the same ending sound [-ine for his sister, -an for DH, which both sound like “in”], syllable count [3], and the two names can commonly be shortened to the same nickname, with an added -ie for the girls name. When I think about it too hard, I find it so disgustingly off-putting. But if names are disparate in length or sounds, does it help?

If a sibset seems otherwise compatible, what tips the scales for you for or against using the same initial letter?

2

Honestly, when choosing my kids’ names I gave more importance to names that I loved, that were meaningful and that honored my heritage or that had to do with places, things or people from [name_m]History[/name_m] I admired. The thing of matching initials for me was never an issue. If it so happened that a name that I loved and that ticked all of the boxes began with the same letter as one of my other kids it wouldn’t be an issue or cause for me to go back to the so-called drawing board.

I think that there are a huge array of names within each letter of the alphabet, names that even though share the same initial are completely different in sound, style, origin etc. Think [name_f]Cecilia[/name_f] and [name_f]Coraline[/name_f] are they super “matchy”? I don’t think so.

The only thing that I do look out for is names that rhyme with those of my other kids or that have an entire syllable in common sound. Like I have a daughter named [name_f]Ziva[/name_f], so even though [name_f]Aviva[/name_f] is gorgeous, I love it and she ticks all of the boxes, they rhyme, so unusable.

I hope I was clear in my explanation… :slight_smile:

This initial thing is a discussion I see a lot on here and I think some people are completely against same initials because they want names to be completely unique from one another and God forbid restrict your naming horizons to just one letter full of possibilities. It’s a matter of namenerd vanity, I think lol.

3

I wouldn’t have two siblings of the same gender because it could get confusing on letters and documents. Sometimes a name is formatted as Mr H. [name_m]Jones[/name_m] or Miss L. [name_m]Smith[/name_m] and it wouldn’t be ideal if there were two. Plus monogrammed stuff is quite popular. I would avoid it unless it was a name I really loved and I already had a child with the same first inital.

5

For me, I absolutely don’t want any of my children to have the same first initial. I don’t even really know why, other than it just being a huge organizational inconvenience. I don’t have any children, so maybe the process of actually picking a name will change my mind, but I will heavily consider this when naming my children. As it is right now, I don’t want them to share initials at all.

6

Choosing a name you both adore is already an extremely difficult task. I can only imagine that task gets even more difficult as you have more and more children. Unless one or both of you are willing to settle or choose a name you do not feel an extra attachment to. I’m not willing to do that. Naming a child is too special for anyone, in my opinion, to do that. I am definitely not going to worry about siblings or children and parents having the same initial or initials. My brother, mom, and I shared the same initials (first and surname). There was never an issue, with paperwork or anything else. The only issue I had (as a child) was I felt a little sorry for my dad.

Adding that my top 2 boys names, Charlie and Jack, one shares the same first initial as my son, the other shares the same first initial as my name. And adding to that Jack begins with the same sound of my name and ends with the same beginning sound of my son’s name. We consider that a special bonus in honoring and one of the reasons we would choose Jack over John (the actual family name).

7

I would like to avoid it, but I don’t really see a problem with it.
my sisters and I share a first initial, and it was a bit harder when we labeled things. it had to be first and middle initial or the first three letters. (Amb, Ang, [name_f]Ama[/name_f], or A.N., A.M., A.K.) we don’t share full initials, thankfully. I imagine that would be a nightmare.

I would like to avoid it because if they share a first initial it will be the same as my husbands, so it would be a family of “J’s”. I don’t really like that.

8

My husband and I have a preference for unique initials, but I wouldn’t consider it an absolute requirement. For example, I wouldn’t really have a problem with [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] and [name_f]Cecilia[/name_f] or [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] (likely boy name choice for this baby) and [name_f]Anastasia[/name_f] in our sibset if we really wanted to use [name_f]Cecilia[/name_f] or [name_f]Anastasia[/name_f]. (However, I do think that [name_f]Veronica[/name_f] and [name_f]Victoria[/name_f] or [name_m]William[/name_m] and [name_m]Walter[/name_m] would be a bit much. I think it is because V and W are such distinctive initials compared to A and C.)

Of course, that’s talking about my set of four children. I think after three, repeating initials isn’t that big a deal, but with only three, I probably would make it a requirement to use unique initials (or all the same initials) so that the kid with the different initial wouldn’t feel left out. I think splitting up the initials between genders (two girls/one boy or two boys/one girl) might be okay, though.

9

I don’t have children and am not anywhere near that point in my life (if it comes at all), so my opinion may not matter as much; at least it might change if I have actual children.

I personally think using the same first initial should be avoided. When considering names for future firstborn daughter, I considered both [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] and [name_f]Lenore[/name_f]. [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] won, and rather than reserve [name_f]Lenore[/name_f] for another potential daughter, I decided not to use it as a first name at all because it also starts with L. ([name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] is already a bit of a stretch for me because my own name starts with an L.)

I feel weird about using two names with the same first initial because to me, it makes them look less individual. The first letter is the first thing you see in a name, and a name is a big part of someone’s identity. I don’t know. It just feels weird and…sort of asymmetrical to me. Whether it’s [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] and [name_f]Lenore[/name_f], or [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f] and [name_m]Lorcan[/name_m], or [name_f]Lavinia[/name_f], [name_f]Lenore[/name_f], [name_m]Cain[/name_m], and [name_m]Cadmus[/name_m], I’m just personally not a fan of repeating first initials.

I don’t really bat an eye if other people do it, unless they have a ton of kids and every single one has the same initial. It’s too cutesy.

This intensifies my feelings. Whereas it’s not too bad with siblings of different age/gender (though I just personally would avoid it), I am definitely against giving multiples the same first initials. Twins are already being lumped together due to the circumstances of their birth; I’m not a twin, but I know some twins feel as if other people don’t see them as two separate human beings, but rather two halves to a whole entity: the twins. I think giving twins matchy-matchy names would only compound this (not to mention the confusion it would bring.)

I think my main issue with giving matching first initials is that, when done to an extent, it’s almost treating the kids like cute little novelties rather than human beings with individual personalities. Not saying this is what parents are doing or trying to do. It’s just the feeling I get, and I’d personally avoid it.

10

Personally I would try to avoid it. If theres just two siblings, you can get away with it. But I hate to see two the same, and the rest different. I also think it looks worse when the repeated initials are in a row, say D D B rather than D B D.

I dont have children yet but my favourite names list is currently organised to avoid repetion :stuck_out_tongue:

11

I think it barely matters, but could cause some minor administrative difficulties if two members of the same household were A. Lastname. So far all three of us have different first initials and the likelihood is that the new baby will have a different initial as well, but if we found a name we really loved I don’t think we would be too bothered about whether it began with one of the three letters already ‘taken’ in our house.

It’s a bit different culturally for us, though, as people always mainly go by their first names here, from the President to the postman, so the A. Lastname format is not likely to be used. Plus we all three have different last names anyway.

Edit: I think it’s also worth remembering that your time as a child living at home with your parents and siblings is a minority of your life, so the importance of ‘sibsets’ can definitely be overrated. I certainly no longer think of myself as part of a ‘set’ with my brother and I don’t think anyone else does either. Perhaps my parents still but these days even from them you’re more likely to hear the phrase ‘Ann and Helgi (my partner)’ rather than ‘Ann and Matthew (my brother)’ (N.B. not our real names). My brother is still my family, of course, but he hasn’t been part of my household for many years. Most of your life is spent as an adult. In short, I wouldn’t stress this issue in the slightest.

12

I don’t want my future children to share the same letter at the beginning. I don’t know why, it just bothers me. I don’t really care as much when it comes to middle names.

13

Although I don’t have any children (as of yet) I’m personally not against having same-letter siblings (many of my favourite names begin with the same letter, anyway). A bigger problem for me is if they sound too similar (I wouldn’t mind a [name_f]Lily[/name_f] and [name_m]Lysander[/name_m], but I wouldn’t have a [name_f]Lily[/name_f] and [name_f]Lila[/name_f]).

If I were to have multiples, I’ll admit, I’d be more encouraged to have them share initials, but only if it was because I truly liked the names but was not confident enough to use it on singles, not purely because I just wanted them to share the same initials but didn’t love the names themselves, if that makes sense. I’m against matching names for multiples (definitely won’t be having an [name_f]Emma[/name_f] and [name_f]Ella[/name_f]) because they are still individuals, but I do think they can be quite cute if named correctly (I wouldn’t mind having a [name_m]Hugo[/name_m] and [name_m]Harry[/name_m], or [name_f]Lily[/name_f] and [name_f]Luna[/name_f], for example).

As for syllables, endings, meanings, and such, I don’t mind siblings sharing the same number of syllables, or endings (at the moment, [name_m]Eddie[/name_m] and [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] are some of my favourite names, as are [name_u]Theo[/name_u] and [name_m]Hugo[/name_m]; I also like [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] and [name_f]Pandora[/name_f], both of which share the same ‘dor’). However, I don’t put much into the meanings of names I like. For nicknames, one of my biggest debates was whether I want a [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] ‘[name_u]Teddy[/name_u]’ or [name_m]Edmund[/name_m] ‘[name_m]Eddie[/name_m]’. I ultimately decided to keep [name_m]Eddie[/name_m], and [name_u]Teddy[/name_u] changed to [name_u]Theo[/name_u], as they were just too similar, in my opinions, for siblings.

My top four names for both genders, at the moment, are: [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] ‘[name_u]Theo[/name_u]’, [name_m]Edmund[/name_m] ‘[name_m]Eddie[/name_m]’, [name_m]Hugo[/name_m], and [name_u]James[/name_u]; [name_f]Pandora[/name_f] ‘[name_f]Dora[/name_f]’, [name_f]Alice[/name_f], [name_f]Lucy[/name_f], and [name_f]Lily[/name_f]. Now, [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] and [name_f]Lily[/name_f] are similar and so I probably won’t use one of them, but as for which, that is undecided. [name_f]Lucy[/name_f] and [name_f]Lily[/name_f] share the same start and end, and are so short that it makes it more noticeable (if it were [name_f]Lucia[/name_f] and [name_f]Lillian[/name_f], for example, it would be different).

14

I tried to do the same middle initial and last initial for my kids until I had my last baby. I think if you use one letter for the first name then it limits the names up could use.

15

I personally don’t worry/think too much about it and may not even notice it unless it’s 3 or more children. I wouldn’t aim to have their initials match but if some siblings do it also does not bother me. I think if it’s coincidental it’s fine, but sometimes it’s obnoxious, like the Duggars.

More specifically to your question, if you’re naming 3 kids and the names you love happen to have two initials the same, I think that’s fine, especially if they are not similar sounding. You’re husband’s situation does sound a bit odd the way you describe it, but I don’t think just sharing the same letter will typically give most people that feeling. I do think if you had two girls sharing initials and a boy not (or vice versa) it seems more intentional, but I still don’t feel there’s anything wrong with it.

Bottom line, I think if you love two names and they happen to share an initial, don’t worry about it, if they happen to be variations of the same name though, that may give me pause. I do notice when names share a root origin even if they don’t sound similar. Siblings named [name_f]Caroline[/name_f], [name_m]Carl[/name_m] and [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] would probably bother me but not because they all start with C.

Edit: After reading the other posts, it just occurred to me that what we’re considering for our son would mean he shares initials with my husband (not middle, probably), and yet I had not even noticed. It’s interesting what some people notice and others do not.

16

I have 10 kids, and they each have their own initials. For me, it’s helpful to know that the item or note with a particular letter is for a particular kid.

I grew up in a family with two J initials (one girl, one boy), and three kids with names or nicknames starting with L (all girls). It wasn’t a problem, but it did cause me to take notice of same initials. I grew up in the 80s and 90s, too, when same-initial naming was a trend. I thought it was a unique thing for a family to do the first time I heard it, but after that it induced eye-rolling.

Also, I’m a twin. I greatly appreciate that my sister and I have different initials and non-rhyming names. We were viewed as a set so often, it was nice having our unique individuality enhanced by unique names.

I have a friend who accidentally gave her first two kids names with V - Clive and Vivian, unique names with an underused letter. For her third, we all wondered if they’d go with another V name. They named her Celeste.

17

I would prefer names with different litters (and different initials from hubby and I), though if I really liked a name I would still use it.
As for your other comments, I would avoid names which share a nickname (but that can be tricky).

Also, I wouldn’t think anything of it if 2 siblings had the same initial and the third did not. I think of it like ‘oh, the first two had the same initial by chance’ . I would say that two can be chance but three or more is a trend. If the 5th kid had a different initial, then he might have cause to feel left out.

18

I wouldn’t do it, simply because it can cause confusion in documentation sometimes. Having said that, I know two sets of sisters that shared the same first initial (and surname, growing up) and didn’t have middle names and it didn’t cause all that much confusion for them.

19

Hmm, interesting topic! I’d never put much thought into it previously.

With a set of 3, how much stock would you put in each child having their own first initial? If you love a handful of names but always return to two of the same initial, would you try to hide one in the middle place or forego it altogether or would you bestow them each proudly to your child nonetheless?

I think with just three children, I’d try not to use names with the same first initial, because they can end up being rather confusing. S/O is one of four children, all the boys have names beginning with J (his sister has a different initial). I know that often when trying to call one of the boys into the room, the names often get confused or the wrong name is said because of the similarity. Also, mail often arrives addressed to J. LastName, which can cause an issue too.

That being said, I’d never go out of my way to avoid doing it. If S/O and I decide that [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u], [name_f]Kinsley[/name_f] and [name_f]Kaydence[/name_f] are perfect names for three daughters, then that’s what we’ll likely use. If we did avoid a name we love, it wouldn’t likely be due to a first initial.

Is it off-putting for 2 of 3 to share but not the other?

It depends on the situation to be honest. If the two names are very similar, like say, [name_u]Kenzie[/name_u] and [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u], with a sister named [name_u]Peyton[/name_u], then yes, it’s a little off for me, because there’s a connection in the first two names, and not with [name_u]Peyton[/name_u]. If none of them are terribly alike, such as [name_f]Claire[/name_f], [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] and [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u], then I likely wouldn’t even notice the fact that [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u] doesn’t have a C name.

Does sex have any say in the matter? Is it easier to imagine two daughters sharing initials while their brother is left out? Or is it easier to suppose a brother and sister share while their other sibling is left out? What if it’s three girls or boys and only two share?

Yes, I think so! If I had two daughters named [name_u]Makenzie[/name_u] and [name_f]Madelyn[/name_f], and then a son named [name_u]Camden[/name_u], I can imagine that as a typical sibling set far more than say, [name_u]Makenzie[/name_u], [name_m]Matthew[/name_m] and [name_f]Danielle[/name_f]. If it’s all the same gender, and two match while the other doesn’t, I’d probably do something like [name_u]Camden[/name_u], [name_m]Christopher[/name_m] and [name_u]Emerson[/name_u], so [name_u]Camden[/name_u] and [name_u]Emerson[/name_u] share an ending sound, or [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u], [name_f]Adalynn[/name_f] and [name_f]Arianna[/name_f], so they all have double Ns.

Does birth order matter? Is it more off-putting if the first two share initials, making the third look like an afterthought? The latter two? What if the middle child is excluded?

Not at all. I’d think the same of the set, regardless of birth order. Most times when I hear a set of sibling names, I don’t know the eldest, youngest or middle, so I think of the set as a whole, I don’t normally go into detail in terms of birth order. I can’t see it changing my feelings on it though.

[name_f]Do[/name_f] your feelings change whether they’re all singletons or if there are twins or triplets?

Yes, definitely! If I were to have twins, I’d be much more likely to do it purposely, and choose names like [name_f]Kayla[/name_f] and [name_u]Kennedy[/name_u], or [name_m]Matthew[/name_m], [name_u]Makenzie[/name_u] and [name_u]Madison[/name_u]. I just like when they share initials when it’s a set of twins or triplets.

[name_f]Do[/name_f] syllables, meanings, origin, length, ending, etc. change your views? My husband shares his first initial with his only sibling, his sister. Products of the 80s, they not only share the same initials, they also share the same ending sound [-ine for his sister, -an for DH, which both sound like “in”], syllable count [3], and the two names can commonly be shortened to the same nickname, with an added -ie for the girls name. When I think about it too hard, I find it so disgustingly off-putting. But if names are disparate in length or sounds, does it help?

I suppose it would help. If the names are both derived from the same name, ie; [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] and [name_u]James[/name_u], it’d be too much for me. Also, if they were too similar, like [name_u]Kenzie[/name_u] and [name_f]Kinsley[/name_f], I would probably dislike it.

If a sibset seems otherwise compatible, what tips the scales for you for or against using the same initial letter?

If it’s not too matchy/doesn’t rhyme, doesn’t appear to be overkill and the names aren’t too similar, I’m pretty neutral about it. I really don’t even think I sit that strongly on any of these above points, because I haven’t actually named any babies of my own yet. It may change when S/O and I have children.

20

I don’t know why it matters to me, but it does. Not only repeating consonants, but vowels as well. It’s more so siblings, if my hubby or I were to share the same letter it’s not a huge deal to me. I grew up with everything being labeled with the first initial of my name on everything. My mom is 1 of 6 and 3 of them all start with the letter D. It drives me bonkers and I have no idea why.

For instances I can’t do:
[name_m]Jack[/name_m]
[name_f]Millie[/name_f]
[name_f]Julia[/name_f]

I also I can’t do:
[name_f]Amelia[/name_f]
[name_f]Catherine[/name_f]
[name_f]Olive[/name_f]

It seems uneven to me. The feeling intensifies with multiples. It makes me cringe with twins.

Such as twin boys no no:
[name_m]Lucas[/name_m]
[name_m]Liam[/name_m]

Also triplet girls no no:
[name_f]Grace[/name_f]
[name_f]Genevieve[/name_f]
[name_f]Scarlett[/name_f]

^^[name_m]Even[/name_m] though [name_f]Grace[/name_f] and [name_f]Genevieve[/name_f] sound different I can’t get over both starting with a G.

21

Thanks for all the great feedback! It’s really interesting reading everyone’s thoughts.

I must admit I’m a bit perplexed by the idea that there might be logistical or administrative inconveniences with sharing the first initial. I personally cannot think of a single instance when I have only been called L, my first initial, in any sort of paperwork, ever. Perhaps growing up in the 90s when things began really being computerized has something to do with my experience? My mother has the same first name as my dad’s sister, which was very confusing at times because they shared a first and last name. My cousin is a junior who shares his dad’s first, middle, and last name and I know that is definitely a logistical nightmare, but I am somewhat skeptical about the problem with having two children by the same first initial in that respect. Perhaps I have no idea what I’m talking about, though. I don’t share an initial with anyone in my own nuclear family. My husband and I shared an apartment with his sister and her husband for a year before we got married. As I’ve mentioned, DH and his sister share initials… they even share the same identical middle name (my [name_f]MIL[/name_f]'s maiden name) and my sister-in-law didn’t change her name when she married so they share all 3 initials and 2 names. I asked my husband and he said he can’t think of any situation when that was inconvenient or when there was confusion stemming from it, in childhood or in adulthood when they lived together. Still trying to think of scenarios when it would be a problem. To any of you who brought it up, please enlighten me if you check back on this post.

I always seem to come back to H names. Not only do I find many of them extremely beautiful and appealing, but there are also more H’s in my family to honor than any other initial I think: [name_f]Helen[/name_f], [name_m]Horatio[/name_m], [name_m]Herman[/name_m], [name_f]Hildred[/name_f], [name_f]Hattie[/name_f], [name_f]Hedwig[/name_f], [name_m]Hamilton[/name_m], [name_f]Honora[/name_f], [name_m]Herbert[/name_m], [name_m]Henry[/name_m], [name_m]Hiram[/name_m], etc. [*=people I am particularly eager to honor]. I started out several years ago firmly in the “individual initial” camp, but I always find myself coming back to these Hs and I think I’ve become much more lenient about it.

[name_m]Horatio[/name_m] will definitely be our firstborn boy if we have one. [name_f]Helen[/name_f] or a variant thereof (not necessarily beginning with H) will for sure be included in my firstborn daughter’s name, more likely in the middle slot but if this babe isn’t a girl, we will reevaluate our top picks when the time comes to name another. But I’ve been stuck on [name_f]Hermione[/name_f] lately as a first name (honoring [name_m]Herman[/name_m]) for a sister for.[name_f]Chrysanthemum[/name_f]. I think I can definitely get behind [name_f]Chrysanthemum[/name_f] [name_f]Helen[/name_f], [name_m]Horatio[/name_m], and [name_f]Hermione[/name_f] as a sibset despite the repetition. But who knows what the future may bring.