Hello everyone,
the thread here about changing names after marriage helped me quite a bit with deciding on how to handle my own last name after I take my vows. (So thanks to the original poster and all who replied.)
Originally, I had planned on keeping my last name (even though I don’t care for it that much, but don’t like SO’s either, which is why I decided this.) Then, reading through previously mentioned thread, someone suggested making up a new last name if neither is desireable. A light went on and I felt like I found a solution! I talked to SO about this and he loved it. He’s not very attached to his last name anyway, as it’s from his absent, drug addicted father and his family isn’t close. He likes the idea of starting our own family legacy of sorts.
This brings me to my question. Our current last names are short verbs. So, smushing them together isn’t an option. We don’t want to choose one side of the family over the other, but still thought about maybe using his mother’s maiden name. If that turns out to not feel right, how do we come up with a new last name for us?
That’s a really nice idea! Although, my mother’s maiden name is unusual and very Irish sounding, while his mother’s is relatively common in [name_u]America[/name_u] and entirely English. I’m worried how they’ll look or sound together. I have so many reasons for wanting a new last name entirely our own that I feel like I’m over thinking things and making this more complicated than it needs to be.
You could adopt the surname of someone you both respect, like a historical figure/hero of yours.
You could look for a surname farther back on one of your family trees.
You could use a word that is meaningful to you.
You could find a surname with an origin and meaning that is significant to you onBehind the Name.
You could make up a name based on your occupations or hobbies (sort of like how in the past [name_u]Mason[/name_u] would have been the surname of someone who was a brick layer, [name_u]Taylor[/name_u] for someone who makes clothes, etc.)
What are the meanings of your surnames? If they’re interesting words, or have a cool sound when translated to, say, Latin, you could combine them that way. That’s what my partner and I are doing when we have the time/money for a name change, and we really like the resulting name. That way it preserves our familial and childhood ties while showing a bond within our personal family, without the clunkiness of a hyphenate of names from different cultures.
Woah, a lot of awesome suggestions. I knew you guys would know what to do. Well, frankie, my surname is W0rk and his is C@ter. I might look into some translations later.
What about a name like Water/Waters? Taking the W- from W0rk and the -ater from C@ter, it would be a lovely nature name which has pervious use as a surname. It might be a bit of a stretch, but I love the idea of a surname connected to both of you in a more obscure way than just C@ter-W0rk.
(symbols used so names can be searched less easily)
[name_m]Ah[/name_m], I love that one, @ciottolo! And I guess a word ln would be another connection. I might test it out for a week or so to see how it feels. (Also, using symbols is a good idea because my last name is pretty rare, although it’s a common word.)
I don’t have much to add to this discussion, because, frankly, my SO and I plan to do the same thing, and we’re stumped!
Our surnames do NOT match at all, so we can’t combine them. We’re currently looking for something that has some kind of significance for both of us, and we each have our own requirements to match. [name_m]Just[/name_m] for fun, here they are:
His:
Reflects his (and mine, actually) [name_m]German[/name_m] ancestry, or connected to his interests
Be “cool” lol
Mine:
No A beginnings
Balance of interests on both sides
Easy to spell/pronounce
We’ve been casually mulling it over for awhile now, and we have one name we like a lot, but we have a lot of time to commit to it, so we haven’t made any decisions.
I started by looking at heritage last names, then by brainstorming words we liked that could work for last names. There were a lot I liked that he didn’t, and a few that I was really surprised that he liked.
I guess I had more to say than I thought! Ha! Let me know how it goes!
I’m so glad to know that I’m not alone in this! Well, hopefully you find some of the previous suggestions I’ve gotten to be useful. I’m just so clueless still, even with all of this help. lol [name_u]Future[/name_u] hubs doesn’t care to talk about any major life decisions extensively. Two or three conversations is the most I can expect out of him, so I feel like the weight is on my shoulders to make a choice. I’ve been looking into last names of people who are influential to us instead of making up something random that won’t carry any weight.
We changed our last name to something else. We searched through our family histories, and I happened to come across one on his side that was an awesome word name, so we decided on that. He would not agree with me on Starblade
My husband and I chose our last name from a book that is very special to us. The meaning of the name is also very significant to us and to our relationship. At the time, we didn’t realize it would be such a huge issue for his family if he changed his name, because of family history and such…so we ended up hyphenating the new name with my husband’s last name. I had no attachment to my maiden name because my dad was adopted by my grandma’s second of three husbands, so our last name has no significance or history for us.
If you choose not to incorporate your family history, go for something that is meaningful to you in other ways. You definitely won’t regret it!
I’m just so clueless still, even with all of this help. lol [name_u]Future[/name_u] hubs doesn’t care to talk about any major life decisions extensively. Two or three conversations is the most I can expect out of him, so I feel like the weight is on my shoulders to make a choice. I’ve been looking into last names of people who are influential to us instead of making up something random that won’t carry any weight.