Soooo… i had my 4th child 8 weeks ago. With my other children, it was super easy to land on a name for them (Zeller, [name_m]Cashel[/name_m] & [name_f]Anthea[/name_f]) but with this surprise 4th I really couldn’t get into it. Partly because our first 3 kids have super unusual names and it felt really hard to find a name to fit the sibset. And for whatever reason, after a literal LIFETIME of loving thinking about naming, this forth baby name experience felt like a chore still couldn’t decide by the time i went to the hospital so decided between the names at the hospital. And i just don’t like her name.
[name_m]Her[/name_m] name is [name_f]Ozma[/name_f]. There is a lot of meaning there but people just don’t get it. People say oze-mah or oooze-ma and my phone autocorrects to Asthma. Plus when people ask her name andni tell them they just seem to not be into it. [name_m]Ozzy[/name_m] is cute but i want her to have everything in this life that can make her life easier - including a name that doesn’t make people scratch their head.
[name_m]The[/name_m] names i was most drawn to had problems:
Probably my top name was (and still is) [name_f]Georgette[/name_f]- but one if my only nieces is [name_f]Georgia[/name_f].
Also liked rosemary but my husband had a bad association.
Liked harriet a lot but it felt so plain with the other names and some friend told me not to name her that in case she was hairy and felt insecure.
Liked henrietta but it felt too long.
Liked marjorie but felt too close to my own name.
Liked francine but my parents hated it.
[name_f]Love[/name_f] agatha but it’s really similar to [name_f]Anthea[/name_f].
[name_m]The[/name_m] two i think i mostly would have preferred were [name_f]Holiday[/name_f] or [name_f]Frederica[/name_f].
I want to change her name but my husband and family think that’s crazy. [name_m]Can[/name_m] i do this? Have you done this? [name_f]Any[/name_f] tips for helping others get on board? If it had been a name i was in love with my whole pregnancy, i would think that my doubts would eventually go away but i never could make up my mind and honestly am still not sure what else to call her. I just don’t like [name_f]Ozma[/name_f]
Being that you don’t have anything else in mind I’d sit on it for a bit. I do know someone that had her named changed as a baby and it’s a fun story for her.
Ultimately, your family, your choice. Do what’s right for you guys. But it is better if you and your spouse agree on this. As much as we all love our families, the decision is for you and your husband, so, don’t let what other people think make your choice for you. I’d say just start with why you’re not feeling the name and see what he is feeling about the name. If there’s special reasons you chose it think about if the reasoning is enough to warrant keeping the name or if there is another name that you keep use to keep the meaning.
Don’t stress it too much. [name_m]Plenty[/name_m] of people change their kids’ names.
But how do you pronounce it? OZ-muh? I think it matches the eccentricity of the siblings names and agree that none of the others on your list are quite as “out-there” as your other kids names. I’ve never done it, but I’ll suggest some other girls names to match siblings and see if you like them..
I would just be straightforward with your husband about how you feel and that you don’t want to saddle her with a difficult name. You don’t have to involve anyone else.
For names if you’re still thinking about alternatives: Maybe just Etta or Antoinette? I also think of Thea, Clementine, Hester, or Agatha.
EDIT: Just realized you already have Anthea, so nevermind Thea!
For what it’s worth I think [name_f]Ozma[/name_f] is a darling name. I guess you just have to decide if you can tolerate correcting people’s pronunciation of her name but I don’t think it will detrimentally effect her life either way; whether you decide to keep her name or change it! As far as getting your husband on board it might help to have a name you loved/liked in mind instead of just the negatives about her current name. That’s no easy feet I know! So maybe just give it some time. Idk if you’re looking for name suggestions but here are some I thought of
I don’t think [name_f]Ozma[/name_f] is too difficult or weird - surprised people are struggling to pronounce it. If you were getting positive feedback from people, would you be feel good and be happy to keep it? Or are you just not sold at all regardless of what people think? (Both totally valid btw, just wondering).
Are you a big fan of the Oz books/Wicked? That’s kind of what I would assume if I met an [name_f]Ozma[/name_f]. Again, totally valid if so!
In terms of how to get your other half on board id you do decide to change it - can you lay it out to him like you did for us here? Let him know just how much anguish it’s causing you. Ultimately, though, it’s going to have to he a mutual decision. Were there any names he liked in the process that got discarded, which you could revisit now? Maybe the option to swap for a name he liked during the pregnancy would help persuade him.
Wishing you clarity and peace whatever you decide! I hope you can agree on something that works for both of you - and ignore the rest of your family. She’s not their baby!
So I honestly immediately thought of [name_m]Wizard[/name_m] of Oz with [name_f]Ozma[/name_f]- I don’t know if that’s intentional but it could be a point to sway husband. Does he like [name_f]Ozma[/name_f] a lot or dislike the suggestions or is it just that he feels that changing the name is too much work? Would you like to keep [name_m]Ozzy[/name_m] as a nickname? My first thought is something similar and in keeping with your other names which is [name_f]Cosima[/name_f]- you could call her [name_f]Cozy[/name_f] or even keep [name_f]Ozzie[/name_f]. Of your other names I don’t feel like [name_f]Henrietta[/name_f] is too long at all! Of the final two I think [name_f]Frederica[/name_f] goes the best with your names.
I think you should like and enjoy saying your daughter’s name. It shouldn’t make you wince or feel tense or embarrassed. This is what I’d say to your husband. I feel like that energy passes in small but cumulative ways to your kid, the feeling that her mother is resisting her name. I also think there is teasing potential with the name, when though it’s also quite spunky and cool - oozing, asthma and, imo, it sounding a little like a traditional name for grandmother / a different heritage than your others.
If you are changing, think you should go for something with similar sounds - and equally cool & distinct like your other names: eg [name_f]Roisin[/name_f] (Ro-sheen, little rose), [name_f]Zélie[/name_f] (Zaylee, if you’re OK with bookend Z’s), same for [name_f]Zosia[/name_f] (Zosia would be so good!), [name_f]Romilly[/name_f], Océanne (Oh-si-Anne), [name_f]Saskia[/name_f], [name_f]Cosima[/name_f] or [name_f]Cosmina[/name_f], [name_f]Odette[/name_f], [name_f]Osanna[/name_f] (could still use Ozzy), [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] or [name_f]Rosalind[/name_f] (also Ozzy), and [name_f]Romy[/name_f].
I think [name_f]Holiday[/name_f] is a little out of sync but still works. [name_f]Frederica[/name_f] is a little clunky compared to your others but also works (maybe [name_f]Freida[/name_f] or [name_f]Freya[/name_f] closer to others?). I also prefer [name_f]Marjorie[/name_f] though and I don’t think it matters if close to a parent’s name (mine is to mine and would come up maybe once every few years!).
[name_f]Hope[/name_f] this helps - and trumping all this is what @persephonescrown said. It really should come from your feelings without the noise from others. But changing it is important if you know you’ll never feel easy saying, hearing or explaining the name - despite its special meaning.
I think it might be worth getting a neutral third party that knows you and your husband in person to mediate this and assess whether postpartum depression is playing a role here. [name_f]Ozma[/name_f] isn’t any stranger than Zeller or [name_m]Cashel[/name_m]. I also don’t think it’s fair to demand your husband agree to change your daughter’s name if he’s happy with it. Maybe try calling her by a nickname? Doesn’t have to be related to [name_f]Ozma[/name_f]. I just think there might be missing context in these situations that we don’t have as random people from the internet. Good luck!
Since she’s 8 weeks old and you genuinely don’t like her name, it wouldn’t seem odd to change it – people do, especially if they’ve felt pressure when picking one.
Possibilities:
Move [name_f]Ozma[/name_f] to the middle spot to keep the meaning?
Choose something with the nickname [name_m]Ozzy[/name_m]?
Look at why it’s meaningful to your husband and work from there?
Change it. She’s young enough. [name_m]Tell[/name_m] your husband you don’t like [name_f]Ozma[/name_f] and you want her to have a name you love. [name_m]The[/name_m] rest of the family will adjust. [name_m]The[/name_m] decision is yours and your husband’s.
Out of all suggestions above, I’d like to repeat [name_f]Cosima[/name_f]. It’s very pretty, kinda close to [name_f]Ozma[/name_f], and rare enough to fit in perfectly with your other kids’ names. [name_m]You[/name_m] can still get [name_m]Ozzy[/name_m] (and Cozy!) which might make the transition easier.
Also, what’s her middle name? Perhaps it’ll help in selecting a new first name.
Take your time though. [name_m]The[/name_m] perfect name is out there, you’ll find it.
still couldn’t decide by the time i went to the hospital so decided between the names at the hospital. And i just don’t like her name.