How to pick a name?

Girl Names
1

How have you or how will you pick out a name for a baby girl? I have been through so many names and nothing sticks out to me as the name for my daughter!

2

It’s really personal, but there are four main influences for me:

  1. A name that I think is beautiful when written and said out loud

  2. A name that is meaningful - it can be related to a fictional character I like, it can have a beautiful meaning that reflect my values

  3. [name_f]My[/name_f] partner must like it too. When we agree on a name, I start to read more and more about it, and my love for this name depends as I discover it’s meaning or draw connections between it and other things I like.

  4. It should have a nice flow with our last name.

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3

I think people think the game is trying to find the absolute perfect name. And for some that is what happens. But I think if that’s not what’s realistic for you (which it seems like it isn’t) finding 2-5 names with middles that suit your personal style and lifestyle that you could try out up until you need to make the birth certificate is a reasonable goal.

So let me ask you some questions to help us figure this out.

  1. Do you have anyone you would like to honor? Doesn’t have to be someone you’ve dreamed of honoring forever or even your immediate family it could be your best friend , your third grade teacher or Ariana Grande it doesn’t matter.
  2. Do you have any stories from your time with your partner that might be a fun honor? Like maybe you and your partner’s first home was on Magnolia Street or you went to Italy on your honeymoon and had the best time in Sicily.
  3. What’s your fashion style? Do you like casual and comfortable , preppy and polished or something more alternative?
  4. How does your own name affect the names you like? Did you love being part of the Sarah club in your class or did you always dream of having a fun nickname etc.?
  5. How do you like to spend your weekends? Do you like to snowboard or ski or maybe brunch is more your speed.
  6. When you imagine your daughter at the same age as you , what’s she like , what qualities would you want her to have , what does she do etc.?
  7. What are the kind of baby names your friends/close family who are having babies like? And when they tell you they like those names what is your reaction?

I know these seem rather abstract but your childs name should fit in with you and your life. Because you have to say it for the rest of your life.

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4

Make sure the name sounds nice is probably the most obvious. :sweat_smile: It’s also the most subjective. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you love alliteration? Hate it? Etc.

Make sure it’s usable in your area and culture. For example, I love [name_f]Mariposa[/name_f]. It’s usable in plenty of areas, but in my family of old Cuban immigrants, it’s just not. I’ll be grieving…

Make sure it’s not just a crush! I love plenty of names for, say, a week or two. And then I move on.

I’d also like for either the first or middle to hold some meaning, but not a lot of weight. [name_f]Opal[/name_f] is my mothers birthstone, for example, but I wouldn’t use her actual name. Maybe a variation of it instead! I just want the kiddos name to be individual, but maybe subtly honoring a person or an interest. That said, I don’t think a name needs to be SUPER meaningful. Simply loving it is meaningful enough, that’s just a preference.

And finally for me it just feels like something I can imagine calling my kid. I adore a lot of names that when I think of using them for my child, I’m left with an uncomfortable feeling. Like it’s just not right. That can change. I don’t know. Some people don’t get that feeling until the baby is right in front of them, and that’s okay too.

It’s different for everybody, and super stressful.

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5

Thank you everyone!

6

As long as it makes you happy when you say it. I think that’s it.

Names will grow stale if they’re not “the one” and they just won’t be drawn to you anymore. So definitely practice imagining this being baby’s name beforehand, shout it and think of possible nicknames she may pick or people may gravitate towards calling her. You have to like those as well imo.

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7

A name should sound beautiful/dignified/classy/funky/badass/etc take your pick, be easy to spell and easy to pronounce. Consider if the name suits a lawyer/doctor/politician/ etc. on a resume. Most important, you need to like the name.

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8

Naming is so hard ! I think it’s important to use a name you love !

For me and my partner our values in naming are different! I love honour names and names with meaning for us. Generally I prefer girls names that are long , with short and spunky nicknames but can age well. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband prefers unisex names for girls and occupational names for boys

For example: I have suggested [name_f]Isobel[/name_f] ( a park where we got married) , [name_u]Issy[/name_u] , [name_u]Bell[/name_u] for nicknames . He suggested [name_u]Reese[/name_u] because it’s his favourite chocolate bar :woman_facepalming:t2:

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10

This anecdote is so sweet - like chocolate :wink:

I totally get the search for a meaningful name. I love Eve for many reasons and got my husband to like it because it’s the name of a videogame he plays (Eve online)

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11

For me, it started with coming to understanding of what I do like and don’t like in names before even starting to consider specific names. For example, I like traditional but not too popular names. I wanted to avoid names that had a natural or common nickname ending in the -ee sound (for example - [name_u]Joseph[/name_u] - [name_u]Joey[/name_u] or [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] - Carrie). This was also true of my husband who’s major concerns were not using his own name and avoiding unisex names that would cause confusion,

Then, I considered people in our lives that I wanted to recognize or honor in some way. That generally led to a set of middle names to consider but also provided some first name options when considering variations of names (for example, I wanted to honor a [name_u]Joseph[/name_u] in my life and that immediately went onto the list as an option for a middle; I wanted to honor a [name_f]Rose[/name_f] and considered several variations as possible first names.)

Once I had a list of names to consider, I shared them with my partner and determined if he had names he wanted to add to the list that I hadn’t considered. Since many of the honor names I was looking at were from his side of the family, this wasn’t much of an issue.

Finally, to whittle down the list, we focused on the flow of the potential name choices with our last name. The rhythm and sound of a name is important to me. We also considered teasing potential.

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12

All of this is great advice. But also something you can imagine screaming across the playground!

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13

Haha, I was coming to suggest this too!

I find it helpful to say names out loud, to see if I like how they sound when I say them. And the holler test really is useful!

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14

Naming is so hard! I found naming [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] incredibly challenging!

  1. I wanted her name to honour loved ones and feel meaningful. [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] honours my mum following the Ashkenazi tradition then she has two honour middle names from both sides of her family for me this is very important.

  2. I wanted her name to have a certain aesthetic which was a European royalty vibe with a sweet [name_f]Princess[/name_f] Diaries nostalgic feel. I loved this imagery and I think [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] fits the brief.

  3. Its important that my child’s name was liked by my partner but also my family having my loved ones approval of my child’s name was so important.

  4. Meaning for me it’s important that my child’s name has a lovely meaning I’m not talking an overwhelming beautiful meaning but a meaning that you can look and think oh that’s nice rather than a horrible meaning like ‘bald head’ or whatever.

  5. I wanted her to have a name that I could imagine saying over and over in lots of different scenarios and feeling comfortable with her name. I never wanted to go off her name I wanted to be completely in love with her name which I do with [name_f]Lilia[/name_f].

That was my criteria hope this helps :white_heart:

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15

I have these criteria for the names I personally will choose:

  1. I have to genuinely love the name – how it sounds, how it looks, its meaning, etc. (And obviously my DH will have to love it, too.) And preferably, I will have loved it for a long time – I don’t want to use a current crush that I may fall out of love with and regret in a year or two. :woman_shrugging:t3:
  2. The first or middle name must honor family – it could be a name after someone I particularly love and want to honor or just an old family name that I love.
  3. It should flow nicely with the surname.
  4. It should be a comfortable name. And by that I mean, it should be a name that will age well/grow with the child and not be a burden to wear.

I also agree with what a lot of others have said. There are just so many things to consider when choosing a name for real! :sweat_smile:

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