I feel like I'm an awful person!

I have been conflicted with the names for my [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] baby the last few weeks, now that the nursery is ready and my mom is staying with me to help, I’ve been having second, third and fiftieth thoughts. I had been really into naming my baby after my mama, [name_f]Barbara[/name_f]. However, I would also love to honor my abuelita who passed away two years ago, she was a huge part of my childhood and my best friend during my teens, by naming my baby [name_f]Celeste[/name_f].

I had been planning to do things differently this pregnancy, staring by not finding out the sex of the baby and planning a natural, home birth.

I couldn’t for all I’m worth come up with a boys’ name that I really loved, not after I used [name_m]Leo[/name_m] for my eldest. My two options were [name_m]Augustin[/name_m] and [name_m]Julian[/name_m].

Yesterday in the middle of the night I got up to go to the bathroom and tripped on the edge of a rug. I was able to grab onto a chair before falling smack down on the floor. Thankfully we’re both okay and the fall was nothing serious, first thing this morning I visited my doctor. This time however, I felt like I really needed to know the sex of the baby… So, she told me and it’s a girl.

You can’t imagine how relieved I felt that moment and now I realize that deep down I really wanted a girl rather than another boy.

Have any of you ever felt the same? I feel like I’m an awful person.

I really wouldn’t beat yourself up about this. Pregnancy and childbirth are unpredictable - you can make plans, but in the end you might have to change them, and there’s no problem with that. I’d say flexibility is a good thing in these sorts of situations. If you wanted to find out the sex, and you did, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. You would have found out eventually anyway, it doesn’t matter that it happened a little earlier than actual delivery day!

And I’d say most people have some sort of preference when it comes to what sex the baby is, especially if it’s not the first child. If it had been a boy, you wouldn’t have loved him any less. I would just be pleased that you’re getting another beautiful daughter, just enjoy it! Whatever you decide to name her, I’m sure you will make the right choice for you and her.

No shame in feeling relief!

I was so happy / relieved to hear that my new baby was a girl (in the delivery room!), as I was sure she was going to be a boy. You’re getting, please Gd, what you’ve hoped for - be happy!

ps. I’m sure she’ll be named beautifully :slight_smile:

No shame at all! I wanted a girl SO bad. When I found out I was having a boy I actually cried (so embarrassed to admit that now!) I think it’s good that you found out to put your mind to ease :slight_smile:

you shouldn’t feel bad, many people have a preference and as a pp said, you wouldn’t have loved her any less had she been a he!
I love both [name_f]Barbara[/name_f] and [name_f]Celeste[/name_f] x

Aww, don’t worry. I felt a twinge (okay, maybe more than a twinge) of sadness and panic when I found out I was having our third boy (4th child)–it’s not that I don’t adore our boys, it’s just that the sheer amount of energy required to keep up with them is huge. It’s not something to feel guilty about.

Thanks everyone, for the support and words of comfort. You guys are right, I’m having a beautiful baby girl in a month and I should be very happy… And preparing for [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] :slight_smile:

I’m still pondering between [name_f]Celeste[/name_f] and [name_f]Barbara[/name_f]… we’ll see.

I have a 4 year old boy and 2 year old girl too. I’m hoping for a third to be a girl. I just think it will make life easier because then we’ll have two girls close in age versus two boys with a decent gap. We have a three bedroom house so it would make room sharing easier. Obviously I will be happy either way but I would definitely feel relieved if this one is a girl.

No shame in having a preference, most people do. I desperately want my first child to be a boy and honestly Ill be a bit disappointed if the first is a girl. It doesn’t mean you love them any less, but most people just have an idea of what they want to have.

Also I love the name [name_f]Celeste[/name_f]! It’s beautiful and I think fits a [name_u]Christmas[/name_u] baby nicely :slight_smile:

I think almost everyone does this. I wanted a girl SO much with my first pregnancy. I even bought girl clothing and painted the nursery lavender before finding out the sex. I didn’t feel strongly either way this pregnancy, but felt extremely happy when I was told it was another girl. I think it was my preference deep down, though I would have been much more open to a boy this time…

I don’t think you should feel bad at all. When people ask me if I have a preference, I say yes, I’d prefer a boy. Like what others are saying, it’s not that I wouldn’t love or appreciate a healthy baby of either sex, but I do think it’s natural to have a preference (except for my husband, who refuses to say what he prefers!!! ugh!)

don’t worry! i think it’s perfectly normal to have a preference. you’re only human! some people even experience gender disappointment if they find out early & it isn’t what they desired. i told people i would be fine with either a boy or a girl because i felt like that’s what you’re supposed to say, but i actually really really wanted a girl & i was so happy when i found out that’s what i was having. obviously, it’s your child and once you give birth & see him or her you fall in love no matter what the gender is but i think everyone secretly (or not so secretly) desires either a boy or a girl more.

[name_m]Don[/name_m]'t feel bad! I’m due with my first in [name_u]June[/name_u], and I’m going to god out the gender early to give myself time to adjust if I’m having a boy, because I would really love to have a girl. My sister and I even used to joke that if she had a girl and I had a boy, we would trade! Lol
Although I have to say, she had my nephew last [name_u]March[/name_u], and I adore him so much that I could imagine having a boy now.
I love that you want to honor a loved one with your name choice. One could work for a middle name too…

There’s so reason to feel bad!

I felt kind of the same way when we found out our first baby was a girl. I’d always imagined myself with 2-3 sons for some reason, and I had really wanted a boy, so I was disappointed about her being a girl for a while, which I felt so guilty about. I came to terms with it eventually, and once she was born I couldn’t imagine being the mother to a boy! And now we’re expecting our second daughter!

[name_m]Don[/name_m]'t feel bad! I think it something that every parent feels. When I was pregnant the first time, I wanted a girl because my spouse already had a boy from his 1st weding. I ended up having another boy and loving him just the same. I was lucky the last 2 times, as I had 2 girls and now will have third girl.