“Only white trash teen moms name their kids this pathetic excuse for a name.”
My [F, 20] mother was none of these things—she simply met a woman in public with a newborn daughter named Jayden, and that was it. “It means ‘God will judge’,” she beams. It doesn’t.
My only namesakes are roughly my age—a host of tattoed TikTokers, Will Smith’s son, and a few female adult stars who’ve taken it as a “performance alias.”
(A Jaden in its natural habitat—PG-rated.)
Suffice to say, I dislike it. I don’t want to be a casualty of my own name, aiming to be a “bravely divergent” example of a non-stereotypical Jayden who thrives “in spite of” the moniker. Why couldn’t I have a name in need of no conquering?
“But you can thrive in spite of your name! It doesn’t have to define who you are! People will come to like you for you once they get to know you!!!1!1!1!!1 A rose by any other na—” types the married mother of four boasting a breed of Abigail Florences and Hemingway Carringtons. I’m sorry, but any consolation of the sort becomes unfathomable when I’ve already seen what you’d say about my name when you thought me too young to read it, and forgotten I’d grow up.
Sometimes, I come to a place of (defiant) acceptance. “It’s edgy,” I think. “Having a masculine name lends me some character. I never fit in with other girls much anyway. Sure, it’s unmistakably modern, but I get to feel like an active member of my generation. Other people my age probably find the currentness and trendiness of my name attractive. Who cares what some middle-aged person thinks? They’re one of a million trendy ‘Jens’ and dated ‘Jeffs’ themselves!”
Most times, it just makes me cringe.
Having discovered name forums during childhood, I’ve been well-aware of my name’s international reputation for close to a decade (I recommend fellow Jadens/Jaydens only check the opinion entries on BehindTheName if you want your self-esteem obliterated). I’m well-aware of how many adults I’ve introduced myself to likely perceived me, and my family. And it’s excruciating.
Sure, I could be Jade. But that comes with its own host of unsavory (read: ‘90s stripper) associations. Besides, I’ve already grown accustomed to life in the “boy’s aisle.”
I’m admittedly not self-assured enough to know where to go from here, other than considering the process of formally changing it. I won’t deny my parents chose poorly, but I’d advise users of name forums to be mindful that people with those “trendy 2000s” names you so thoroughly lambast are now old enough to use these sites—perhaps even in anticipation of their own children.
I am not asking anyone not to dislike my name. I am not asking anyone to avoid holding an opinion that will hurt some mothers’ feelings, and eventually those of the name’s recipients. But telling thousands of minors that we “will be dead before the age of 25,” “not attend university, unless mowing the lawns there,” and be “sexually molested or put in a coma by an adult family member” (thanks, BehindTheName) because our name is “Jayden” is simply too far. To those moms of Benningford Michael and Isolde Calliope who do, I don’t truly grasp why. You’re over 30. You’re married. You have degrees. You have kids. You have better things to do than wish death and rape upon children less aptly-named than yours. If not, then it appears your understanding of what makes “trashy” people is not adequately inclusive. And to the moms of Lucas Jaspers and Charlotte Magnolias who’ve always offered their inputs tastefully, thank you for shaping my taste, naming my characters, and making these forums an enjoyable place to grow up—perhaps without even knowing it.
On to the next naming saga: a name for Jayden’s first sister (and maybe a bit of a rebrand for Baby #1).
