[name]Do[/name] you have an age in mind that you would like to be done having children? What are the reasons? Complications associated with age? Too big an age gap between kids? Want freedom at a relatively young age?
Personally, I’ve always said I don’t want to be pregnant past 35 due to the automatic “high risk” associated. I don’t want to push the envelope in that respect. That said, I’ll be 32 next month and currently ttc #3. I would love to have 4 children with at least 2 years between. That math gets a little tight . It’s had me thinking about only having 3 or pushing my age limit a little higher. It’s nothing I lose sleep over, just beginning to ponder and wondering if others ponder too.
I want to start having kids at 26, and plan to have absolutely no more after age 35, purely because of the potential complications, just not worth the risk. I also want 4 kids, with a fairly substantial age gap between them. (Preferably 4/5 years, we are considering adoption for a 4th) I am hoping for the first at 26, 2nd at 30, and 3rd at 34ish. If life works out perfectly and all that jazz!
I’m in my mid twenties and unless there are major changes, this is to be our last child. If we were to have one more, I’d want to give birth before the age of 28. I want to be done having kids by then. That said we are planning for the baby I’m currently carrying to be our last, my DH and I are perfectly happy with this, and the only thing that will change it is if one of us felt unfulfilled with just two children. This is why we’d ideally love for this baby to be a boy, but we won’t be disappointed if we end up having a girl. I know he/she isn’t here yet, but it feels like our family is now complete.
My husband has always said that he does not want to have a baby after he turns 37 (I’ll be 36). That way, our youngest child will be 18 when we retire at age 55 (54). Now, we got married really young and have plenty of time to have as many children as we want, but if time weren’t on our side I am sure we would see things differently. From a medical perspective, I personally wouldn’t have any problem having children in my late 30’s or even early 40’s. I’d say that 45 is where I’d draw a definitive line, there are just too many risks to mother and baby at this point.
We plan on trying for our first in the next 1-2 years (I will be 25-26, he will be 29-30) and I would like to be done by 35 because of those increased health risks for mother and baby.
I am 25 and if things go as planned, I will be 26 or 27 when my 2nd (and last) is born. My husband is 35, so he will probably be 36 or possibly 37 when the next baby is born. He was kind of iffy on even having a second one, but he knows how important it is to me that [name]Rowan[/name] has a sibling. I was an only child and I always wanted a sibling, and still wish I had one to this day.
In my situation I didn’t meet my husband till I was 29. I was in a 10year rel’ship in my teens and 20s and, for me, no way was I close to having a baby then (or maybe it was just the guy!). Anyway, we got married at 32 then two babes quickly followed. I am now close to 37 and trying to conceive #3. In my head, I am saying that if I’m not pregnant by the end of the year we will call it quits. Two reasons. First, is definitely an age thing. I just don’t want to have a baby when I’m 40 and I don’t want to try for the next two years. It is mentally exhausting and straining on a relationship to be simply focused on trying to fall pregnant. And second, I do want my kids to be close in age. I don’t want a big gap. This all may have been different if I did in fact have my first baby in my 20s. But in my situation 38 is the deal breaker.
I think we’re done after this baby. I will turn the big 2-9 this saturday! Little Teagan is due to arrive in 6 weeks.
We have so many travel plans over the coming years I just don’t think another child would fit into that reality. But we haven’t completely taken it off the table. If I reach 35 and still no third, then i’d be content to keep things as they are.
I’d like to start having kids at about 28 and be done by 34; I’d also like four kids - maybe five if we end up with four girls or four boys. 34 is a bit of an arbitrary choice (i.e. I don’t think that hitting 35 in and of itself makes a pregnancy higher risk, in the same sense that I wasn’t a greater car accident risk the day before my 25th birthday than I am today; I wouldn’t want to push too far past 35, but I wouldn’t freak out if I got pregnant at 36 instead of 34 or something). 34 is, however, how old my mom was when she started having kids (she was pushing 35 when she had me and was 37 when she had my brother), and in my own experience, my parents just didn’t really have the energy to do much stuff (“stuff” being, for example, play tennis or go on trips) with us as we got older, particularly by the time I hit high school. I’d like to be old enough that we’re fairly established in our careers and are financially stable before we start having kids, and young enough that I’ll still be able to be reasonably active when the youngest leaves the house.
Well, my husband and I are TTC now. Hopefully our first will be born around my 30th birthday (early next year). We’d like three children, so maybe we’ll be done by the time I’m 35. That suits me just fine
I’m still a teenager so having children is quite a way off for me, my mother had me when she was 38 and I wouldn’t like to be close to that age when I finish having children, if I could help it I wouldn’t like to be older than 35 either - both because of the higher risk of complications and defects, and because I didn’t enjoy being the child of an old woman and wouldn’t like to put my child through that.
Right now I say I’d like to be done with kids by 30. I have my own family history of plenty medical issues and I don’t want to increase the risk of my child having even more. I want to have time to enjoy my older adulthood and retirement. My father-in-law will be around 55 when his youngest graduated high school. I don’t want to be the parent that’s mistaken for a grandparent. My grandfather had my mother at 42. Had my mom not had me when she (25) I’d have no real memories of my grandfather.
That said I’d like to start having kids in 6-7 years (24-25) with a year or so in between each. Since SO and I want to adopt our last child I think its totally doable.
I’m 31 and not even started trying, but I’ve always thought 35 as my personal cut-off, however at the rate things are going I’ll probably be having my first age 33-34 and then maybe my second age 35-36 all being well. It’s not ideal, but going past 40 is an absolute no-no. The thought of having an 18 year old as I’m approaching 60 scares me half to death!
I had [name]Tabitha[/name] when I was 19, [name]Mathilda[/name] at 21, [name]Seth[/name] at 25 and have just had [name]Ramona[/name] at 28. I knew I wanted 4 but always said I wouldn’t have any after 30. For me, I started having babies when I was young, so wanted to enjoy the benefits of being a young mum (there are pros and cons, don’t get me wrong!)
The goal right now is to see how #1 goes and decide from there. We would love to have 2-3 and would probably space them a couple years apart. I’m 27 now, so hypothetically #2 at 29-30, and #3 at 31-33…so “done by 35” seems like a fair estimate, but as we all know, plans change, it’s not an absolute cutoff.
There are pros and cons to babies at any age and we’re allowed to have preferences, obviously. But I would caution you ladies not to overthink this! Babies are a blessing at any age, and I can’t imagine my age causing me to NOT welcome the idea of a new baby! If you are young enough to get pregnant (naturally), then you aren’t too old to take care of that baby. Things work that way for a reason. When you are too old to have kids, you won’t get pregnant.
@milliemm “old woman” is a little harsh when referring to a mom who had you at 38! I know your young and its a perspective thing but ouch!
@ohiom I agree completely that a baby at any age is a blessing. This is more of a, in a perfect world where thing are within my control kind of thing. From the majority of answers it seems there is some open-mindedness in this area but we are stating our ideals. I can tell you my opinion on this has evolved quite a bit as I’ve gotten older.
I’m not sure. I live in [name]Utah[/name] (yes, I’m Mormon), and I will admit that it is common for girls to get married and have babies all while they’re still 19. I don’t want to even think about having kids until I’m out of college. I think I’ll have my first when I’m 24 or 25. I want to have 4 or 5, so…Finished by 40, at the latest. If they’re all about two or three years apart, 36 or 37 would be plenty reasonable.
. It’s had me thinking about only having 3 or pushing my age limit a little higher. It’s nothing I lose sleep over, just beginning to ponder and wondering if others ponder too.