Is it unrealistic to expect to fall in love with a name?

Help! I’ve been pouring through the archives. We have a baby boy due in [name]October[/name], and I’m starting to think that maybe there isn’t such thing as a perfect name? I keep waiting for lightning to strike and it just isn’t.

Writing out our list, I’m realizing that many of these names we have already pretty much decided not to use:

[name]Saul[/name] (an early contender, but we both worry about its old Jewish guy image since we are not Jewish)
[name]Henry[/name] (we both really love this name, but it’s getting so popular, and DH has a cousin with a little boy named [name]Henry[/name])
[name]Winston[/name] nn “[name]Win[/name]” (DH wants to use this, but I’m feeling hesitant about it)
[name]Edwin[/name] nn “[name]Win[/name]”
[name]Tate[/name] (we both like it, but can’t really imagine using it – if that makes any sense?)

DH is also into (but I am not): [name]Paul[/name], [name]Abel[/name], [name]Marty[/name], and [name]Cy[/name].

I love (but DH does not): [name]Alastair[/name], [name]Felix[/name], [name]Arthur[/name], [name]Archie[/name], [name]Wells[/name], and [name]Albie[/name].

For middle names, we’re considering family names [name]Wilson[/name], [name]Thomas[/name], and Dubois, but 100% committed to using a family name.

Our last name rhymes with “[name]Leon[/name]” and generally we’ve been trying to avoid C/K names because of alliteration issues.

(And now that I’ve written this all out, I’m feeling like the reasonable thing to do would be to go with [name]Edwin[/name] nn [name]Win[/name], because it combines my love of British-y names with DH’s love of short names. But I don’t absolutely adore it. Maybe that’s okay?)

Please, please, please – I would love to hear your suggestions! Thank you!

[name]Edwin[/name]. He likes the “[name]Win[/name]” nn and he could use the [name]Ed[/name] nn if he wanted when he was an old man :). Good luck, I am sure it is hard!

I don’t like [name]Alastair[/name] mostly because “stair” in the name seems girly to me.

I love your top 6, especially [name]Winston[/name]. But to answer your larger question, falling in love with a name before baby’s arrival could be unrealistic for some people (and possible for others). I think if both you and your husband can feel pretty good about the same name, and can imagine using it for your new baby, then you’re doing pretty well.

You have some great options, and I’m sure you’ll fall in love with the name after your baby arrives, if not before. Good luck!

Thanks for your replies – it seems likely that we’ll go with one of the ‘[name]Win[/name]’ names, and it’s so reassuring to get some positive feedback on both [name]Winston[/name] and [name]Edwin[/name] :smiley:

I think both [name]Winston[/name] and [name]Edwin[/name] are solid names!! I totally understand where you are coming from and feel the exact same way. THe 1 or 2 names that I think I love my partner doesn’t and vice versa. It looks like we will have to find a happy medium and pick a name we both like/really like, but neither loves.

I think [name]Edwin[/name] is a great name, with great nickname potential.

The more you say the name, and picture it on your little baby boy, the more you will start to “own” it and fall in love with it!

[name]Edwin[/name] Dubois gets my vote. I think the more you imagine your little guy as [name]Edwin[/name], your love for him will make you love the name more and more.

I like all of the names on your list, and I don’t think that I had realized that [name]Saul[/name] had an “old Jewish guy image” at all, for whatever that’s worth. In general I like both of your taste. The only name you have listed that I dislike is [name]Marty[/name], which I think is painfully dated.

Since you like [name]Win[/name] as a nickname, would you be interested in just using [name]Wyn[/name] or [name]Wynn[/name] on its own? It’s a legitimate Welsh name in its own right.

Also, perhaps he might come around to [name]Alastair[/name] if you used the Scottish spelling, [name]Alasdair[/name], and the nickname [name]Dair[/name] or maybe even Dare?

[name]Henry[/name]- I think if you both love it you should go for it, but popularity doesn’t bother me when it comes to classic boy names
[name]Winston[/name]- I like it, nerdy cool…but the cigarette brand turns me off.
[name]Edwin[/name]- nms. If you like old british man maybe [name]Cecil[/name] or [name]Basil[/name]?
[name]Saul[/name]- very old Jewish man, I would consider [name]Seth[/name], [name]Ira[/name] or [name]Asa[/name]
[name]Tate[/name]- you both like it…why can’t you imagine using it?
[name]Owen[/name]- nms

I would use [name]Henry[/name] or [name]Tate[/name] it seems like you both like those. I wasn’t 100% about my daughters name (our first choice was ‘stolen’ & I didn’t feel the same about anything else) but now that she’s my favorite person it’s my favorite name! I was still searching till the very end!

I like [name]Win[/name] and slightly prefer [name]Winston[/name], but I see the [name]Brit[/name] baby name thing that [name]Edwin[/name]'s got going on. I agree with mamakepps, some people seem to fall head over heels for a baby name before the birth and have a difficult time naming the next child bc they are searching for that same feeling. In my observations of friends who are so in love with their first baby’s name, they tend to be family names that carry a lot of meaning for them, or it’s a name they’ve loved a long, long time and had their hearts set on. For me, with our son, we didn’t analyze it too much, we had our top two names and one was the front runner, and after seeing him the first time, it fit. I was not “in love” with it, but I liked it a lot, and so did DH. With my dd (baby number 2), I was all over the place with choices, but we had a top 3. It was a lot more agonizing with her name, plus I think I over thought it big time! :wink: I do love her name so much, but it wasn’t a lightning strike kind of thing still. Good luck to you! Once you see that baby, falling in love with him will be all that matters, and he will grow into whatever name you choose! :slight_smile:

I really like [name]Edwin[/name] and [name]Owen[/name].

To me the “fall in love with a name” thing is similar to the “perfect wedding dress” thing. For some people it happens and that’s great. For others, not so much, they just have to go off what works and seems to fit. A logical approach isn’t always a bad thing.

Have you considered [name]Winslow[/name]? It’s got the [name]Win[/name] thing going on. I like [name]Winston[/name] and [name]Edwin[/name], too, but I’ve always loved [name]Winslow[/name]. :slight_smile:

I think that it’s easy to get too stressed out and stuck in one’s thinking over the name that the gut reaction one was hoping for gets lost in the tumble. You still have time. You’ve got plenty of time! Maybe try each one on for a day or two, spending a whole day where you don’t think about the other options. Today, he’s [name]Saul[/name] (which BTW I don’t think is particularly old Jewish mannish). He’s [name]Saul[/name] when you are at work and cooking dinner and doing the laundry or whatever else you do all day. Then in two days, clear your mind and let him be [name]Winston[/name]. Or [name]Edwin[/name]. If you can narrow the options down to just a few, maybe you take them with you to the hospital and see what fits.

I like [name]Saul[/name]. But I have a [name]Paul[/name] so I’m biased. Also [name]Henry[/name] may be rising in popularity but it’s such a manly classic that I wouldn’t worry. I really wanted to use it for my last baby but dh just couldn’t love it. Living with the name is a great recommendation. Last time around it really helped me narrow down the field.

Thanks so much everyone! I’ve been so, so stressed about not having a name yet, and your advice has been amazing.

kala_way: The wedding dress metaphor makes so much sense to me… and I totally didn’t have that moment with a dress either. Maybe as much as I’d like it to be, it’s just not my personality!

ellenelle and lo: I really like the advice of living with a name for a day or two to see how it feels. So smart! I think we’re going to try this. We’ve been calling the baby by a silly nickname for the whole pregnancy, so we’re going to try calling him by different names for a few days to see if one seems right.

I really like [name]Winslow[/name], but DH isn’t crazy about it. And he thinks that since there’s already a [name]Henry[/name] in the extended family, we should only consider that for a mn at this point.

So interested to hear that many of you don’t mind [name]Saul[/name] or think it’s overly old/Jewish. We may have to keep it on our short list after all!

The name combos we’re liking best so far are:

[name]Saul[/name] [name]Thomas[/name]
[name]Edwin[/name] Dubois (nn [name]Win[/name])
[name]Winston[/name] [name]Wells[/name] (nn [name]Win[/name])
[name]Owen[/name] ??
[name]Tate[/name] [name]Henry[/name] / [name]Tate[/name] [name]Thomas[/name]

I think we’ll try them on for size over the next few weeks, and worst case scenario, we’ll end up bringing a short list to the hospital and hope that one seems right when we meet our son. Then we can fall in love with the name and the boy at the same time.

I [name]LOVE[/name] [name]Winston[/name] nn [name]Win[/name]!

I really like [name]Tate[/name] – [name]Tate[/name] is great. :wink:

We have a 3.5 year old [name]Saul[/name] and we are not Jewish :slight_smile: he is a red haired Irish boy and everyone compliments his name. It’s a great name!

[name]How[/name] about [name]Walter[/name]? You could use [name]Walt[/name] as the nickname.

What about [name]Asher[/name]? After reading all the names on your list I just could not stop thinking about [name]Asher[/name]! I love [name]Saul[/name] and I don’t think of it as an exclusively Jewish name. [name]Owen[/name] is by far my favorite though. It just seems like such a perfect name. It is young and fun enough to work on a little boy and grown up enough to work great on an adult.