Just because it ends in "ley"

Why does it seem every boys’ name that ends in ley gets poached by girls’ parents? I’m sure there are many more, but immediately to mind come [name_u]Finley[/name_u] and [name_u]Bailey[/name_u]. Please, everyone, help stop the abuse.

I know what you mean. I’m so sick of it. Practically every little girl I come across these days has a name ending in a -lee. I am also tired of parents thinking that any “name”, wether its a place name, or a surname, that ends in -lee is a girls name. [name_u]Yardley[/name_u], [name_m]Henley[/name_m], [name_m]Berkley[/name_m], Brinkley, Kearsley…those are not names! And then theres the people who try to invent their own -[name_u]Lee[/name_u] names. I once came across two sisters:[name_u]Pax[/name_u].leigh & [name_u]Pen[/name_u].leigh. I don’t even think those are actual names.

Perhaps because [name_u]Leigh[/name_u]/[name_u]Lee[/name_u]/Lie/[name_m]Ly[/name_m]/Ley is seen as a feminine ending to a name.

Then of course, it’s much more socially acceptable to use traditionally male names on girls than vice versa.

Names that end in -a, too!

That’s part of the problem - as soon as a name goes pink side, it’s never coming back. And what? Boys can only have names with harsh/hard sounds?

I can’t stand -ley names but they do sound much more feminine than masculine.

I see where people are coming from…the whole [name_m]French[/name_m] “lie” name family for girls, of which I am I fan of, is distinctly feminine, which may be where the whole -ley trend for girls derives.

I don’t know. It’d take concerted social effort and a lot of people loosening their concepts of masculinity and femininity to rectify this issue.

What is so bad about a boy having a name that is also seen on women? Why do people stop naming their sons certain names when it gets popular with girls too? [name_m]Will[/name_m] we ever have a ‘girls’ name on boys trend? [name_m]Will[/name_m] little [name_f]Lilly[/name_f] or [name_f]Zoey[/name_f] ever be a boy? Why don’t we just say everything is unisex and save ourselves a lot of difficulty?

It’s all very interesting.

I absolutely love the name [name_u]Finley[/name_u] for a boy :frowning:
Boy names on girls is my HUGEST pet peeves. I just can’t stand it. Girls already have SO MANY names, but they keep stealing from the boys!

One of my coworkers just became a Grandmother. The poor girls name is Burkley.

Yes! [name_u]Finley[/name_u] is such a handsome name. I am doing my best to pull it back into the boys’ realm. We will be naming our little guy [name_u]Finley[/name_u] when he arrives next month. And, we aren’t the only ones. While [name_u]Finley[/name_u] may be more common as a girl’s name here in the US, there were still hundreds of boy [name_u]Finley[/name_u]’s born in the US last year. And, let’s not forget that the rest of the world still considers [name_u]Finley[/name_u] boy name.
Although, I do admit that I’ve had second thoughts about the name precisely because of this issue. I don’t think it would bother me at all to name a girl a slightly masculine name, but I do worry a little about a boy’s name that may seem “girly”. The feminist in me cringes!
This ingrained worry is a reflection of our societal norms. I don’t want to be responsible for making my son feel less “manly.” I’ve decided that my son will be just as much a boy if I named him [name_u]Finley[/name_u] as if I named him [name_m]Jack[/name_m], so, I’ve gotten over the stigma.
My husband is Australian and thus we have many good friends with names that are considered feminine here in the US. We know an [name_u]Ashley[/name_u], [name_u]Robin[/name_u], [name_u]Darcy[/name_u] and a [name_u]Lindsay[/name_u]- all male. Admittedly, when I first met these guys I thought to myself,” those are girl names.” But, each name is also a great boy names. All of those guys are “guys -guys.” Their names have not made them any less so. And, each of those names seems more unisex to me now that I know guys with the names. (Funny that bloke-y Australia is more open to softer boys’ names than the US!)
I understand the hesitance of parents to name their boys unisex or girly names. But, really, it is silly. My son will still be all boy when we name him [name_u]Finley[/name_u]- even though girls may also share his name. After all, [name_u]Aidan[/name_u] and other names still manage to work well for both sexes.

I consider [name_u]Finley[/name_u] 100% boy. To me, [name_u]Finley[/name_u] is as odd on a girl as [name_u]Noah[/name_u], [name_u]James[/name_u], or [name_m]Maxwell[/name_m].

There is a lot of sexism behind all this name gender-swapping. Once a name goes pink, it will likely never go blue again. Think [name_u]Ashley[/name_u], [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u], [name_u]Meredith[/name_u]. I so badly want to meet a boy named [name_f]Sue[/name_f]. It is not yet socially acceptable in the US to name a boy a traditionally female name, but the reverse happens all the time. Granted, some newcomers like [name_u]Aidan[/name_u], [name_u]Riley[/name_u], and [name_m]Grayson[/name_m] are unisex, but I’m talking about traditional common names that have been used widely for at least a few centuries.

Reclaim [name_u]Finley[/name_u].

@mindymae- I have a very feminine name, yet I’ve always been a bit of a tomboy.

I had the biggest crush on a guy named [name_u]Dana[/name_u] when I was in high school. Nothing girly about him, though he was teased a lot about his “girly” name, even though it is a traditionally male name. …another one of those handsome gems stolen by team pink.

YEP. By the same logic, every name that ends in -en should be fair game for the blue side. I’m looking forward to seeing little boys named [name_f]Helen[/name_f].

[QUOTE=mindymae;2121815(Funny that bloke-y Australia is more open to softer boys’ names than the US!)[/QUOTE]

Same thing within the U.S. - unisex names are more likely to be shared (without “going to the girls”) in the more conservative areas (where you’d expect people to be more sexually uptight). (If you’re interested I have a spreadsheet where I’ve calculated these regional trends in the U.S.)

I’d love to see that!

I’d love to see that!

It’s interesting though, that this does tend to be a [name_u]North[/name_u] American thing, because over in [name_m]Britain[/name_m] names like [name_u]Ashley[/name_u], [name_u]Finley[/name_u], [name_u]Bailey[/name_u], [name_u]Riley[/name_u] etc are still very much used for boys, far more than they are girls.

@mindymae - preach girl!! And I’m so happy you’re naming your boy [name_u]Finley[/name_u]. It’s wonderful. :slight_smile:

@rainbowbright908, mindymae - You can also see for yourself by going to the SSA’s site, download their extended state-by-state lists, and when you have some free time play around by searching for various unisex names in various states (particularly when the name in question was most popular overall). The general pattern you’ll find (there will be exceptions, but in general) is that in the “redder” parts of the country (e.g. the South and Plains areas) there are more names which are being comfortably shared between the genders. Note that I’m talking not about an absence of girls with boy’s names, but rather those names maintaining their masculinity more easily there (in other words you’d be more likely to see for example both males named [name_u]Kelly[/name_u] and females named [name_u]Ryan[/name_u] in those areas). I’ve also found the most “sexist” part of the country with regards to names is the Northeast, where gender ratios of unisex names average more female than the national average; it’s in that region that also shows the most “conformity” towards naming boys with the names and the relative numbers of babies given those names at the top of the list (when compared to states elsewhere). The region often considered to be the most sexually liberated, the [name_u]West[/name_u] Coast area, comes out pretty much neutral here.