Does anyone else have a large age gap between their first and second child? I am almost 19 years old and an only child.
[name_f]My[/name_f] mother has a new partner who is younger than her and has no children, and I’ve been told if I would like to have a baby brother or sister.
I want my mother’s happiness and serenity, however, I am so nervous about the age difference.
It is really very strange and embarrassing to have a mom pregnant with her new husband after so many years.Are your
Are your children happy or nervous?
[name_f]My[/name_f] sister is quite a bit younger than I am, not 19 years but enough of a gap to not have a normal sibling dynamic. I think it’s wonderful, however, it does, at times, put you in a weird spot between mother figure and sibling as you’re old enough to have opinions about the way your parents raise your sibling, especially if you regularly babysit them, however, at the same time you will, at times, compete with them for the attention of your parents, even/especially at your age where you don’t need them as much anymore but when you do it’s important that they’re there for you.
I think it’s going to be important to communicate to your mother that while you’ll love your sibling, it’s important that they don’t always tag along and that her attention is on you when you are spending time together!
There’s 19 years between myself and my youngest sibling. Though there are 4 others in between us.
I am the oldest and there’s was a big age gap between me and the oldest of my younger siblings, she was born when I was 10. So I’ve grown up almost being another parent to my younger siblings.
I also had my first baby when my littlest sister was 2 so she vacate an aunt while still a baby. [name_f]Every[/name_f] family is different.
I’d say don’t be nervous because kids and babies are wonderful and if nothing else it’ll be great experience if you have your own one day.
You’ll probably find that as long as you have good parents you won’t end up in as much of a parenting role as I did and can have a nice, relaxed relationship with your little sibling.
[name_m]Hi[/name_m], in summer I work with children as a tourist entertainer, and I was also a boy scout and I like to make them play and have fun.
And they also love me very much.
I have two little cousins who always want to go for a motorcycle ride.
I had never thought about a little brother or sister, though.
It’s been several years as an only child and I’ve gotten used to having the house to myself.
Moreover, perhaps the thing that bothers me the most is just seeing my mother pregnant.
In fact, it is hard to imagine that one’s mother also has her own sexual intimacy, and the belly is an obvious representation of that.
However, I can’t help it. I am aware that I have no say in these matters, and she wants me to have this new life experience.
[name_f]My[/name_f] mother has always been against the only child and also considers it a wonderful experience for me; useful at any age.
[name_f]My[/name_f] oldest sister (stepsister, which is relevant) is 22 years older than our youngest sister. When her dad and my mom got together, she had to get used to having a whole bunch of siblings, not just the new baby. She had been an only child until then. I’m not very certain on her exact feelings but she always seemed excited to have siblings. Sadly, she wasn’t around for much of our growing up years, as she was in college and then establishing her own life. We love each other and got closer as we got older but it is kind of hard to have much in common when one person is a professional and getting married while the rest of us (us younger ones…we do have 2 siblings closer to stepsister’s age) are still playing with barbies.
With our baby sister, she ended up being really motherly to her. That did cause a lot of tension with my mom but blended families often have some tense dynamics sometimes… now my stepsis and our little sister are incredibly close.
Each situation is different. You may be well on your way to being on your own soon and won’t be in the thick of it. As long as you aren’t forced to become Mom 2 (as one of my friends was to her much younger siblings), you could have a lot of fun having a sibling! I was very close in age with my youngest ones and it took us until we were older to like each other, because we fought SO much. I love having siblings. [name_f]My[/name_f] life wouldn’t be the same without them.
between my oldest brother and my youngest sister is 13 years and now that we are all over 25, there is no real difference between us and we all get along with no problem - but when my oldest brother was 18, by youngest sister was 5, and I think they didn’t have the closest relationship because of life circumstances, by the time she was 18, my brother had a 13 year old son. I think it really depends on how much you would be around your family, because I know of many large age gaps between siblings they all have very different relationships.
[name_f]My[/name_f] eldest and my youngest have an 8 year age gap which I don’t see as a problem now and hopefully won’t be in the future, but its very personal to each person. [name_f]My[/name_f] eldest daughter is amazing and helps me with her youngest siblings without being asked, but they might just be the way she’s been brought up being the eldest of a big family. It is different if you’ve been the only child.
My oldest brother is 13 years older than me, and it definitely changes the sibling dynamic. I can only speak from the perspective of the youngest child. I didn’t like that my brothers could basically boss me around like they were my parents, and it made me sad to hear about all the memories they had made with my parents before i was around. Now that I am an adult, I get along well with both of them.
Sorry, my rant probably won’t be very helpful for you, since you’ll be the older sibling. I will say, there is no reason to be embarrassed about someone else’s actions and situation, which are out of your control. Though I understand that it must be quite an awkward experience for you.
[name_f]My[/name_f] sister is 10 years younger than me. Not quite 19 years but it’s still a pretty large gap. We definitely have unique struggles because we’re never in the same stage of life at the same time, but there are also a lot of positives to it too. We love that we get to do stuff together that we wouldn’t be able to if we were the same age because I’m older and have my own family so she gets to tag along when we go places. And I’m able to give her advice about things she’s going through because I’ve already been through it but I’m not too old that I can’t relate at all. I also have a brother that is only 2 years younger than me, and there are definitely pros and cons to our relationship too. I don’t think any sibling relationship is any better or worse, you’ll obviously love your sibling regardless.
[name_f]My[/name_f] youngest brother is ten years younger than me, but it’s by no means the same as 19 years. While I can’t advise how you feel, my experience with my brother has been good. We’re close, but my relationship with him has been less of a sibling, and more of an adult interacting with him, just because we’re in two separate stages of life and have very different things to worry about. But otherwise, I still care for him, and enjoy watching him grow up through the stages that I once did.
As a side note-
[name_f]My[/name_f] parents have been in the process of trying to adopt for the last few years. And the age gap between that future child and I would be nearly the same as yours. So I understand your concerns, cause I’ve done the same thing! And for me, I’ve hit the point where I’m okay with my parents doing whatever, and I’m good with including another sibling even though it’d be drastically younger. I would be excited to watch from a distance and still continue with my life, no matter what occurred. Wishing you all the best!
I have two siblings, one is 15 years older and the other is 17 years older than me. We get along really well even though we are in different stages of life, and I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. I’d say in this situation a conversation needs to be had within your family, but I’ve never had an age gap problem! (Although, i do get asked if i was an accident… a lot)
He doesn’t have children, and I don’t want them to tilt their relationship because of me, or blame me for it.
In the end, maybe he will also be a valuable potential for my future as a father.
As my mother says, a good experience.
A real school of life to help me develop sensitivity, caring skills, patience.
A new sense of responsibility, to learn to put aside my own needs and be less self-centered: the basics of life.
Thank you all for your opinions.
I have a half sister 23 years younger than me. Unfortunately we live across the country from each other and are basically strangers, but I’m really happy seeing my dad happy getting to raise another child.
[name_f]My[/name_f] step dad is the youngest in his family. He has a nephew that is the same age as he is. His mom and sister were pregnant at the same time. It might not be a traditional sibling dynamic but it can still be a really special relationship. Life changes- you’re happy for your mom and her next chapter but it’s totally natural to be a little uncomfortable with the thought of another baby. Doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing, just an experience you’re unsure about. As an only child I would be thrown off too. I think it’s a matter of trying to figure out what relationship you’re comfortable with!
[name_f]My[/name_f] half sister is around 19 years older than me. She was basically like an aunt when I was growing up. She’d take me fun places but I noticed that she sometimes felt awkward around me. She got married when I was 7 and moved when I was 10. I haven’t spoken to her in years, but I think that’s mainly because of the problems between her and our dad. Overall, our relationship was more like an aunt/niece than siblings since we didn’t grow up together and couldn’t really relate