I have one brother and I’ve actually never know any [name]Indian[/name] family with more than two children, in my generation. Honestly, when I went to school in [name]India[/name], everyone was either an only child or had only one sibling. A family with three or more children was considered large. I lived in the state with the lowest birth rate in the whole of [name]India[/name] (1.7), so maybe that had something to do with it, but the amount of governemnt benefits you received for having two or fewer children were amazing. It’s kinda cos [name]India[/name] is massively overpopulated, so the government has a massive scheme trying to keep birth rates low(and it’s working), but it’s also because it is very difficult to raise a large family in [name]India[/name]. There are simply not enough resources to go around, and a general rule of thumb is the richer the family, the fewer the children.
I kinda disagree with the opinion that you can have as many kids as you want so long as you can take care of them. I think anything more than three or four is increasing the strain on the resources of a world which is already overpopulated. Personally, I want three, but I feel slightly selfish about wanting that many. I think as far as possible, people should try to have fewer kids.
Obviously this is an unpopular opinion, but it’s one I strongly hold.
I have a fairly large, mixed family. I’m a stepmom to three kids under the age of 8 and I’m expecting my first. I want two kids of my own so that would be five kids. When I was younger I only wanted about two. My dad came from a family of nine and I always felt like I was in a sea of people. However, I wouldn’t trade my step kids for the world. They are my world. I make sure they know theres enough love to go around.
I’m of the opinion that children deserve more than just the bare minimum, so I tend to favor smaller families. My mother had three and three seems to be a nice size, though I would consider a fourth (four is not that big when you compare it to families with seven, eight kids). I want to be able to still go out to the movies and eat out without having to worry, worry, worry over expenses. I want to be able to help put my children through college and to afford vacations to Disney world and for my kids to wear nice clothes. Some people think it selfish, but I think it is selfish to have more children than one can afford and/or emotionally support.
Also want to add that having a large family doesn’t mean that everyone will be all close and life will be full of rainbows and glitter or that smaller families have less love or excitement. I find that sentiment to be rather insulting.
I’ve never understood how having a small family is considered selfish. Surely bringing a child into this overpopulated world is the most selfish decision one can ever make?
Totally agree there. My SO and I had that conversation yesterday. As the oldest of seven kids his youngest sister will be 15 when he’s 30 years old. It would be almost impossible for them to be close considering that he’s moving out and joining the military in less than six months.
And small families doesn’t mean that everyone will be close either which is what my parents thought. I am not close to my mother at all. My brother, while I love him, I want to kill most days because he is spoiled and completely immature although on somethings it can’t be helped. And my dad is the only one I’m close to.
I love big families! I am 1/3 of my immediate family, but collectively I have over 20 first aunts and first uncles, which all have at least 2 children (although we mostly come in packs of 3). My family is very close and I wouldn’t change it for anything. Ideally, I would like to have 3-4 children someday.
I love large families! Yes, you need to be able to take care of them, but hand-me-downs and homemade meals are just fine. I am only one out of 4 kids, which I consider a medium sized family. A lot of my friends are apart of large families (6+ kids) and they were almost always happy growing up and there was never an issue of lack of attention. I had another friend who was an only child and she seemed to have an almost chronic feeling of loneliness. These are of course merely my observations.
Also concerning the idea of only having one or two children so that you can give them the world so to speak. If this is your plan, that is completely fine, but please be careful not to overindulge. I used to babysit a sister and brother whose family was well to do. They were decent kids, but you could tell that their parents hardly ever told them no. They would fight to only eat junk food for dinner or watch tv all afternoon or play on the computer for hours. Only after pleading and coaxing, would they go outside or play a non computer game.
I want to mention that my mother came from a family of nine kids. They were always well cared for, but they didn’t get along until they all grew up and moved out. Now they are very close. My father only had 4 kids in his family but they were never close as children and they still aren’t close. So size of course doesn’t cause family harmony, but rather the attitude of the family as a whole and the grace of God.
I agree with you.
I’m an only child, so is my grandmother, two cousins, best friend, and ex-boyfriend. I was never lonely. I’ve never heard the other onlies I know say that they were lonely, either.
However, I have a neighbor who has 9 siblings and he always complains about how lonely he is, and his siblings never visit him.
I’m a child of three girls and DH is a child of eight, three girls and five boys. I would love to have more than four as I love big families and many of my friends growing up had larger families and I loved it. Since I was younger I have always wanted all my children to have at least one brother and one sister, maybe because I didn’t have this growing up. I have three boys at the moment and I am defiantly having another at least two.
I’m one of seven (I have five older half brothers and sisters from my dad’s previous marraige, and a little brother). I love being part of a large family, especially as one of the younger children, and would definitely say I am close to most of them, and have grown closer as I have gotten older. There is a large age gap between me and my youngest older sibling (12 years) but this works out well as they looked after me in the past, and now I look after their children. I also definitely want between four and seven children, as I love being part of a large family so much and would want that for my kids.
I grew up with a fairly large family (I’m one of of five), but my husband and I only want two. As much as we would love to have seven or eight children, it just isn’t logistically possible for us for several reasons. First, we live in a huge city where real estate prices drown just about everybody–we couldn’t afford a larger apartment. Second, when our children reach middle school (we are planning on having them about 18-24 months apart), we are seriously considering just selling everything and traveling the world. This means that we would need to keep our family small to make that logistically possible.
But I do love big families, as long as the parents can support them. That doesn’t mean indulging every want or desire, but being able to adequately feed, clothe, house, and educate all of them without relying solely on older children to raise younger children. I do realize that older children babysit their younger siblings, but when they might as well be raising them themselves, it crosses the line for me.
As well as they are well-cared for, large families are beautiful. I’d love a large family, G-d willing. We’re working on it 
I am the second of 7 kids in my family (all from the same parents). Coming from what most people would consider a large family, I have to say I wouldn’t trade it for anything! There’s ups and downs to every family situation, but my parents did an excellent job. My dad had a good job, but with 7 kids, even a decent income doesn’t go as far as you might think. We didn’t have fancy vehicles or eat out often or take expensive vacations, but we were loved and well provided for. My parents couldn’t buy me a car or put me through college, but I actually think I’m better off for it. I worked my way through college and graduated fully ready to be an adult. I had a greater appreciation for my education than most of my classmates and knew how to budget and plan for the future.
I think it’s good for parents to want to make sure they can adequately provide for their children, but I’m not on board with the idea that we have to give them the “best of the best” in order to be good parents. My husband had everything he ever wanted (almost) and would have traded all the fancy things and private education, etc. for a family like mine (hand me down clothes, homemade meals, simple life) in a heartbeat. I am closer to some siblings than others and we’re certainly not a perfect family, but I wouldn’t wish my family different at all.
For me, we’ll take them one at a time (assuming we don’t have twins, of course). We’ve said we’d like 3-5 but my husband definitely wouldn’t object to more, at least on principle. We live in a more expensive location than where I grew up, so I can’t say yet how many I feel like we will be able to afford, but I do know that loving, dedicated parents are one of the most important things a family can have. My husband and I are 100% committed to providing that to however many children we eventually have.
[name]LARK[/name]
I am the oldest of 5 (2 brothers and 2 sisters) and I loved having that size family. My father is Italian and they normally have big families but both my parents are one of 3. I know that all my siblings and I want big families because family was such an important thing to us growing up. We all get on well despite the 2, 5, 7 and 10 year age gaps so I think how well you get on with your siblings may have something to do with it.
I don’t like it when people judge others in how may children they have. I know a lot of people who assume that somebody who has 6 children must be a get-around and wanting to have as many as possible in order to get benefits. Unfortunately there are some like this but I think how many children you have depends on the individuals. Whatever makes you happy.
Beautifully put! My family was the same way. There were four kids and we never went to Disney World or really even the movies and we ate out very infrequently, but we went on long, awesome road trips and spent every [name]Saturday[/name] night together playing games and eating ice cream sundaes. I have amazing memories and an incredibly close relationship with all my brothers, and I didn’t miss any of that other stuff. I have always wanted 4 kids as well because I loved having lots of people around the house – there was always someone to play with, talk to, hang with, etc., and there was always something going on. That said, I have one kid right now (he’s 19-months-old), and I don’t know how people have more than one kid!!! And he’s such an easy baby! I have no idea what my deal is, but at the moment, I don’t see THREE more kids in my future, at least not anytime soon. [name]Just[/name] the thought of one more terrifies me, but it makes me sad to think he might be an only child and not have brothers or sisters … 
My mother and my father never married (father didn’t want anything to do with me and we only met when I was 17)
On mum’s side I have one (half)brother who I grew up with and look at more as a “full brother”.
On Dad’s side I have 4 step siblings (2 girls and 2 boys) and 6 more half siblings (4 boys and 2 girls)
My dream family is 8 children but considering I want to give each child their own room/space I will most likely have 4 or 5. Having the great experience of living both the small and large family I prefer the large family as when a sibling goes away there’s more there to talk to and muck around with. I don’t judge them IF they can afford what they made just as a person posted above me “the idea of having kids and then signing up for welfare doesn’t fly with me.”