[name_m]How[/name_m] do you know when it’s time to stop having kids? I am pregnant with number 3, and from the beginning my husband and I have said this is it; but now I am having doubts about that.
People tell me you will know. I didn’t feel done after our second was born. But we decided that despite our longing for a third, we wouldn’t have another for reasons outside of our control (mainly financial). We decided maybe one day in the future when things are better we [name_f]MAY[/name_f] have a third, but it would be in the future.
I’ve found myself unexpectedly pregnant and the timing isn’t great, it won’t be easy but we’re excited. After this baby I feel like we will feel done. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if we don’t feel done, we definitely will be (my husband has already decided to have a vasectomy to be sure), so I hope we do feel done or I’ll always wish for another.
Congratulations on your third kid. If you and your husband feel that one or two kids are enough so after that you can stop. It depends on the couples. [name_f]Every[/name_f] couple thinks different and definitely everyone has different decisions.
I’m not sure that you ever REALLY know. I have been obsessed with having babies, and we knew we wanted a big family. I thought after our 4th that I was done. I was talking about getting my tubes tied or husband getting a vasectomy. He requested I wait and thought I might change my mind. He was right. Our 5th was unplanned and a total surprise but I found after he was born and got through his baby to toddler stage, I still wanted one more. So here we are now with #6! lol.
I am certain at this point thought that I need to be done. Though it isn’t because I “definitely don’t want more” it’s more because pregnancy gets more and more difficult the more that you have, and I don’t think my body needs to go through this again. lol. We have acknowledged that several years down the road, once our kids start to go out on their own, we might want to adopt another. Though by then, our oldest kids might start getting ready to give us grand-kids so maybe those will tide me over. haha. With this many kids, I’m hoping for lots of grandkids in the future.
Well we thought we’d be done with four but we didn’t feel done at all and are now planning to TTC our fifth next year. Whether we feel done or not after that, we will be. We couldn’t fit a sixth child in our home! We feel five is a good number. Originally we aimed for four as I am one of four and it always felt right, but it does feel like we’re missing just one.
So because I am having a cesarean I am going to put in the request to do a tubal ligation at the same time. But, I reserve the right to change my mind and if I do that then my husband has said that he will get a vasectomy. I am really torn on whether or not I want this to be our last child, but if that’s what we decide then I want to know that every thing is set up for that to happen.
I don’t think it ever is “time to stop”, but who knows? Maybe I’ll change my mind one day.
I also think that sterilizing yourself when your spouse wants more is one of the most selfish things you can do.
My husband has expressed his desire to stop at 3. If I decide to wait until after baby is born to make the decision and I choose to stop at 3, then he will get a vasectomy.
I’m not sure if you are ever certain. I just had my first and I don’t know if I want others. I had kind of a tough pregnancy with severe morning sickness that lasted for over 20 weeks and bad anxiety, and I ended up having an unplanned C section. On top of that, our baby has VUR, which is genetic and has a higher chance of occurring in females. Now that my PPD is getting better, I often think about giving our baby a sibling. I can’t help but change my mind almost daily, though. On good days, I could see myself having at least one more baby. On difficult days (bad colic or issues with my PPD), I swear I don’t want more. Before our baby was born, I kept swearing up and down that I wanted like 4 kids, lol.
In your situation, I’d give it some time. I know I’ve heard that any other kids after the 2nd are all easy to handle and usually take little adjustment, but it depends on what you’re financially and emotionally comfortable with. You don’t want to stretch yourself too thin in any means.
My mom and dad thought they were done with three: my two sisters and I. But, they had another, a boy. They made a permanent decision to be done and my mom’s heart just ached for more. We prayed about it and she asked that if it wasn’t [name_m]Christ[/name_m]'s will, for her desire to be taken… but it wasn’t. My dad was the one who said he wanted to get a reversal… and now we have two more little siblings. Pray about it.
I was on the fence about whether I even wanted a #2. The longer we try, unsuccessfully, the more I want a #2. I could accept having an only, but the mere idea of having a third is terrifying for me.