Firstly thank you for all your support, kindness and overall helpful responses it’s really appreciated which is why I feel bad coming to you and saying I’m feeling a bit regretful concerning my daughters name Lilia.
So there’s many reasons as to why I love Lilia the name honours my mum and her Ashkenazi heritage, isn’t popular ‘trendy’, has the lovely meaning ‘Lily’, I love flower names and lilies are my Grandmas favourite flowers, I think the name looks visually pretty and finally it’s short which is always a plus as she has a long hyphenated surname.
BUT since having Lilia and introducing her to the world no one has got her name right the pronunciation issues are really getting to me especially as a anxious person. She had to get her vaccinations and was called LITIA for some reason. When I say her name I get the response off ‘that’s unusual’ which to me isn’t great. Anyways today I was talking about her name and her dad said he wasn’t massively keen on her name but it grew on him and was his favourite from a list that wasn’t his style. That he’d consider potentially changing her name then we started talking further he said a lot of positives about Lilia and responded by saying actually he doesn’t want to change her name. Apparently he feels it’s because he’s never really loved a girls name unlike with boys as he adores Malachi. Anyways his confusion over Lilia, teamed with the mispronunciation issues, people’s responses have made me doubt Lilia and feel regretful.
I’m just so confused and I need some guidance should I change her name? I can’t picture her being called anything else but maybe that’s because I call her Lilia. I just don’t know I think I would feel happier about lilia if I didn’t have so many issues with the public over pronunciation and feedback it’s just hard. What do you guys think? Embrace Lilia or think of something else? Can you reassure me about Lilia maybe I just need to fall in love again!
[name_f]Lilia[/name_f] is a STUNNING name! It’s absolutely gorgeous and has such a lovely meaning to you. Honestly, I don’t get what’s wrong with people; it’s not difficult to pronounce at all.
(my opinion) I don’t think you should change her name. It seems, from reading your comment, that you really do love the name, it’s just other’s people’s opinions swaying you. I understand how hard it can be to get past what other people think of you, I struggle with that too, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with the name [name_f]Lilia[/name_f]. It is not tough to pronounce, it is not unheard of, it’s just people being rude for no reason.
If you really are having a hard time loving it then maybe give her a nickname. [name_f]Lily[/name_f] would be perfect. It’s more “normal” and is very close to [name_f]Lilia[/name_f]. There’s also Lea/Leah.
I also think, as [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] gets older, you will fall more in love with her name because it’s hers and when you think of the name [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] you’ll think of her and how perfect she is and everything you love about her.
If it were me I’d just give it time, maybe try a nickname. However, you could try discovering new names and try them out on her, maybe you’ll come across something that’s just perfect for your daughter. Now that she’s here and you know her personality, a name you overlooked before might just fit her better.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you think there may be some other reasons as to why you feel insecure about her name? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you feel you need to please others or is your concern for her later in life? I don’t mean to intrude, but I know a few people who always question what people think about them, and even a “that’s an interesting name” would immediately make them think the person didn’t like the choice and therefore the person would think negatively of them.
Honestly, I think [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] is a wonderful name. I first came across it on JesssFam’s vlogs and it didn’t seem to cause any problems for her [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] in the long run. Also, the more [name_f]Lilias[/name_f] are out there in the UK, the more familiar the name will become and the less she and any other [name_f]Lilias[/name_f] will struggle.
For now, why not call her [name_f]Lily[/name_f] or [name_f]Lia[/name_f] when you’re around other people and don’t want to explain her name - those that you only meet once anyway.
You could even call her [name_u]Lee[/name_u], going off her initials, while also keeping the connection to [name_f]Lilia[/name_f].
Personally, I think you chose the name because you truly loved it and you love it for your daughter; and maybe it’s because I’m from a place where you can’t just change your children’s names, but I feel once the child has been given a name, it’s theirs, theirs to keep or to change, to abbreviate or lengthen. And while she is still little, there are so many sweet nicknames and when she’s in nursery school, the children will learn her names just like they will learn [name_f]Isla[/name_f] or [name_f]Freya[/name_f] or [name_f]Mia[/name_f].
So I just spelled this name to my hubby and asked “How would you pronounce that” and he said Lilia correctly. I wouldn’t change her name.
I grew up with a “hard to pronounce” last name. Visually I dont understand how it was so hard but I had to have heard dozens of various incorrect pronunciations. I had to grow a “tough” skin about that and instead extend grace… and I’d usually do so before they could learn the incorrect ways. I’d say my name is such and such “it rhymes with Febreeze”. And it sounds odd but that little saying “it rhymes with Febreeze” would usually for the most part correct any confusion. Maybe there’s a way to introduce Lilia in a way that addresses and clears up any possible pronunciation confusion.
I also would say I am living something somewhat similar with my first in that when my husband and I picked his name, Jabez, we never realized all the ways people would think his name is pronounced. And yes, I think being the first born and the fact we didnt discuss names with anyone before he was born I know people were shocked and found it unexpected. I had friends ask me “Why?” And when I’ve explained mine and my husbands desires for a name- they get it. My mother even told me at first she didn’t know what to think but now she loves it and couldnt imagine him having any other name. Truly at nearly five he wears Jabez perfectly.
Like I said with my first we encounter various pronunciation issues. And one of those first times was at the doctors office. Our nurse actually wrote a pronunciation help in his file. Maybe you could ask if Lilia’s file could contain a similar thing.
I think Lilia is a great name. And by your post I know you agree. And where her father also agrees I really would just hold onto it. I really think the issue is just needing to figure out how to navigate the world around you is what will help.
I agree with the previous posters, I truly think you should keep her name. It’s gorgeous and you said that you can’t see her being called anything else, so I honestly don’t think she should be. From what I’ve heard, my parents had a lot of the same responses from people that you’ve been dealing with and with a much more difficult name. But they stuck with it & refused to give me a nickname to appease other people not wanting to put the effort in to learn how to actually pronounce it. No one that’s known me beyond a couple meetings has any issue with it anymore. I genuinely am so confused why people seem to be having a hard time with [name_f]Lilia[/name_f], it’s a fairly straightforward name and Lily/Lillian/Liliana are so popular right now you’d think it just wouldn’t be an issue and I truly doubt it will continue to be as people become more familiar with the name in general as it’s rising in popularity. If you’re worried about how it will affect her in the future, as someone who still deals with those reactions, I can honestly say it’s really not that big of a deal!
i’m sorry you’re struggling, but i love the name lilia for you and i can’t think of a reason why you should change it. i’m glad you found a name you love and that fits your daughter so well. i could never use the name lilia (an extremely negative association) but i think it’s absolutely beautiful. as for the mispronunciation, i can’t think of a way someone would mispronounce it, unless they misread it as lila, which is easily correctable. i can think of potential misspellings, but those, too can be corrected.
and i think that any comments about it being unusual aren’t intended negatively in any way, shape or form. i think “unusual” is about as neutral as a comment can get. sure, they’re not praising the name, but no one should be bashing you for your decision.
i know how difficult this can be, and i wish you all the best in figuring things out
I wouldn’t change her name. It sounds like everyone who cares about her is attached to it and likes it! The pronunciation is simple once people learn that it’s so close to [name_f]Lily[/name_f] so I doubt it will give her much difficulty in school/work/etc.
From what I’ve gathered, being a parent (not one yet, but been reading a lot lately to prepare!) comes with almost constantly dealing with careless, or clueless, or just plain rude people who like to tell you what you’re doing wrong. I guess what I’m thinking is that it’s not you and it’s not Lilia’s name, it’s them! I’d do my best to not let this get to me and not worry too much about what other people might be thinking if at all possible.
Goodluck! I hope you feel better about her name soon!
@AdroitArtemis thank you for your lovely feedback and positivity surrounding [name_f]Lilia[/name_f]. I think with strangers I am going to try and introduce her as [name_f]Lily[/name_f] to make things slightly easier and let everyone know she’s going to be known by the nickname [name_f]Lily[/name_f] when out. I think time & getting used to reactions will definitely help! Thank you for your best wishes
@OpheliaFlora thank you for responding it’s really appreciated i have always had really with anxiety especially anxiety in social settings and my mum has always said i am a natural people pleaser so I think having the response of that’s unusual or difficulty from people surrounding pronunciation is making me feel awkward. I feel like I need to explain her name otherwise people will judge me or think I’m purposefully trying to be different which I don’t want people to think I am. I also of course worry about my daughter and that’ll she’ll hate having to spell her name, correct pronunciation especially as she has a hyphenated surname that consists of one Ugandan name rare in the U.K. and one Celtic band rare in [name_u]South[/name_u] [name_u]East[/name_u] [name_f]England[/name_f]. I’m worried it’ll all be too much for her. Thank you for your positivity surrounding [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] and I think [name_f]Lily[/name_f] could be a good name to use to introduce her I think I need to do that whilst I adjust to people’s reactions to [name_f]Lilia[/name_f].
@Alix2016 thank you for responding! Yay I’m glad hubby got her name straightaway that’s reassuring thank you for sharing your experiences regarding your surname I think this is also a concern as she has a hyphenated surname which is tricky too as one is a Ugandan name and the other Celtic. So it’s a lot of name to spell which is why when I was pregnant I thought having a short 5 letter name would be great and [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] would be perfect as it’s so ‘easy’ everyone I knew said it was easy but I realised I was asking people who were ethnic minorities/from my Ashkenazi community so of course [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] would be easy as they were all used to more complicated choices then [name_f]Ellie[/name_f] [name_m]Smith[/name_m] if that makes sense. Thank you for also sharing about your little ones name! [name_m]Jabez[/name_m] is cool!!
@futuremama thank you for your feedback and Sharing your personal experience about your parents with your name it’s a relief to hear that people after a few tries do understand the name. Honestly [name_f]Lily[/name_f] variants aren’t popular in the U.K. but I didn’t think [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] would be so challenging as it is just [name_f]Lily[/name_f] with an ‘a’ at the end it’s a name with legitimate origins not made up yet people love to make out that I’ve just pulled it out of thin air!! Thank you for the reassurance that name confusion isn’t that much of a big deal. Thank you for your kindness!
@thunderstormgirl thank you for your feedback and kindness it’s so annoying struggling with your decision when it’s as big as your child’s name I really appreciate you saying you love [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] and it’s a shame the name has a negative connotation I hate when that happens! Honestly so much mispronunciation it’s so frustrating and sometimes the mispronunciation is so random like LITIA there’s no T in her name it’s bizarre. Anyways thank you and hopefully I can become indifferent towards mispronunciation/comments honestly it’s not like I named her [name_f]Banana[/name_f] [name_m]Diesel[/name_m] or ABCD you know anyways thank you!
@hellobanjo thank you for your feedback it’s really appreciated It’s true [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] is so close too a very popular rather classic name and all her loved ones are attached to [name_f]Lilia[/name_f]. Yes you’ve nailed parenthood on the head I had no idea until I became one but parenthood does consist of a lot off carelessness, cluelessness and rudeness along with judgement/unsolicited advise. Being a parent is hard and others do make it harder for sure. Thank you I’m going to try & do this thank you I hope so as well
I went through pretty much the same things with [name_f]Noemi[/name_f], especially the first couple years. Almost everyone who sees her name written on paper says [name_f]Naomi[/name_f] instead of [name_f]Noemi[/name_f]. Her doctor even wrote the phonetic spelling of [name_f]Noemi[/name_f] on her chart so that when the nurses called her, they pronounced it correctly. Honestly, it is tiring correcting people all the time, so if I know it’s someone we won’t interact with again, I let it go if they say [name_f]Naomi[/name_f]. Especially older people. [name_f]Noemi[/name_f] is 7 now and for several years has been able to correct people herself if they call her [name_f]Naomi[/name_f] instead of [name_f]Noemi[/name_f]. With her teachers, I’ve only had to correct them once or twice on pronunciation before they got it. The kids in her class always got the pronunciation right away.
As for the “that’s unusual” comments, I’ve heard that way too many times to count. Also “that’s interesting”. But I’ve also had people say it was really pretty, or after explaining it’s the Spanish version of [name_f]Naomi[/name_f], they say “oh that’s nice”. Maybe you could explain the [name_f]Lily[/name_f] connection to your grandma if you wanted to.
I don’t think you should change her name just because some people haven’t heard of it before. [name_f]My[/name_f] family didn’t want me naming my daughter [name_f]Noemi[/name_f] [name_f]Xochitl[/name_f], but I did anyways because it’s for my husband and I to love, not them. I don’t remember anyone saying anything about [name_f]Kiana[/name_f] [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f], but now again with [name_f]Magali[/name_f] [name_f]Belén[/name_f] who hasn’t been born yet, people from both sides of the family are making comments about it. I just ignore them because it’s not up for discussion.
I saw the picture you posted of your daughter, and she definitely looks like a [name_f]Lilia[/name_f].
just out of curiousity, what mispronunciations have you heard?
i think that litia may have been a typo, since the letter l and the letter t aren’t usually confused.
@jenni_lynn91 thank you so much for sharing about your experiences with your brilliantly named children & congratulations [name_f]Magali[/name_f] [name_f]Belen[/name_f]. Honestly this has really helped me and I think saying [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] is an honour name could help. Thank you for saying [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] looks like a [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] it’s helping me feel more confident in my choice.
@thunderstormgirl sooooo many [name_f]Aleah[/name_f], La lee ah, [name_f]Leila[/name_f], [name_f]Lila[/name_f], Litia, Leeluh, [name_u]Lee[/name_u] la and [name_f]Leah[/name_f] I’ve never actually had her name said correctly until I say it’s [name_f]Lily[/name_f] with an a at the end
I sympathize. I’m usually good at pronouncing names, but I don’t know how to say [name_f]Lilia[/name_f]. I would say LIL-e-a, but I’m not sure if that is right.
You’d think that once told, people would remember correctly, but there are handful of names I just can’t seem to say right no matter how hard I try.
I would change her name to [name_f]Lillie[/name_f] or [name_f]Lillian[/name_f] or Lillium (all of which I love) and then personally call her [name_f]Lilia[/name_f].
[name_f]Lilia[/name_f] is such a beautiful name. It’s definitely in my top 10. Once your daughter starts school, the right pronunciation will stick. [name_f]My[/name_f] name is pretty hard to pronounce, but once I started school and made friends, no one in my class had trouble with it. So she’ll at least always be called the right name by the people she grows up with!
thank you for sharing your experiences regarding your surname I think this is also a concern as she has a hyphenated surname which is tricky too as one is a Ugandan name and the other Celtic. So it’s a lot of name to spell which is why when I was pregnant I thought having a short 5 letter name would be great and [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] would be perfect as it’s so ‘easy’ everyone I knew said it was easy but I realised I was asking people who were ethnic minorities/from my Ashkenazi community so of course [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] would be easy as they were all used to more complicated choices then [name_f]Ellie[/name_f] [name_m]Smith[/name_m] if that makes sense. Thank you for also sharing about your little ones name! [name_m]Jabez[/name_m] is cool!!
I really appreciate you saying you love [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] and it’s a shame the name has a negative connotation I hate when that happens! Honestly so much mispronunciation it’s so frustrating and sometimes the mispronunciation is so random like LITIA there’s no T in her name it’s bizarre. Anyways thank you and hopefully I can become indifferent towards mispronunciation/comments honestly it’s not like I named her [name_f]Banana[/name_f] [name_m]Diesel[/name_m] or ABCD you know 
