After a lot of back and forth, one name my husband and I can agree on is [name_f]Violet[/name_f]. The only hang up for both of us is the nickname [name_f]Vi[/name_f], which we are not fans of.
We know we can’t control what people or other kids call her beyond a certain point, so just wondering:
does anyone have experience with a [name_f]Violet[/name_f] and is she called [name_f]Vi[/name_f]?
does it work to try to do a different nickname that the “default” one? For example if we like “vee”. Has anyone had success doing this?
Or, should we pick a different name because she will inevitably be called a name we are not fond of?
I love [name_f]Violet[/name_f] and would be considering it if wasn’t the name of both a cousin and a good friend’s daughter. In my experience, both girls are called “[name_f]Violet[/name_f],” no nicknames. I also think that, at least with close friends and family, parents have a lot of control over the nicknames. I think they’ll look to you first to see what you’re calling her.
I think that, to an extent, you can’t really control what pet name or nicknames someone could call her at any point in time (for instance, my parents had “set” nicknames for me when I was little. They tried to discourage anyone from using anything else…it was either one of the approved nicknames or my actual name. Eventually, I met a friend later in high school who dubbed me with a completely different nickname that was still closely related to my real name). However, as @abbeyroad mentioned, in a close circle, they’ll likely pick up on cues of what to call her. If you call her [name_f]Violet[/name_f] or “Vee”, they are probably more likely to follow suite. For what it’s worth, [name_f]Violet[/name_f] is a cute name that I don’t feel warrants a nickname it’s a good choice.
I think wanting Vee instead of [name_f]Vi[/name_f] you’re going to run into trouble, they’re just too similar for people to remember which one it is, and Vee isn’t very intuitive to me, or much prettier than [name_f]Vi[/name_f].
If you wanted [name_f]Lettie[/name_f]/[name_f]Lottie[/name_f] or [name_f]Lola[/name_f] or [name_u]Vale[/name_u] or something, I think you would have more success, but I don’t actually have any experience with this kind of thing…
You can certainly influence the nickname people get. The number of Elizabeths/Elisabeths I know that all have different nicknames, some of which are not the default shows just how much variation there is and that you can make a very good effort to influence the nickname.
Most people will just follow your lead in nicknames so if they hear you using Vee they will as well.
I have a name that people shorten, except it isn’t the version I use as soon as I could I was correcting them. It wasn’t and isn’t a big deal
Good points and thank you for your insightful and thoughtful comments. I actually love [name_f]Lola[/name_f] but didn’t feel comfortable using it for a first so maybe as a nickname it could be fun and work! I actually also love the nickname Loey (like low-ie) for some reason so maybe that’s another option.
I worry the same thing about [name_m]Edmund[/name_m] (don’t like “[name_m]Ed[/name_m]”).
I think/hope you can control that for the most part and insist on [name_f]Violet[/name_f].
We’ve just named our baby [name_f]Violette[/name_f], never really consider [name_f]Vi[/name_f] as a nn tbh. We’ve nicknamed her [name_f]Lettie[/name_f], because we really love the name. On the nicknames thing, it is possible to nip them in the bud. Loads of people wanted to nn my daughter [name_f]Melody[/name_f], [name_u]Mel[/name_u] and I simply corrected them very nicely. If they were insistent on calling her something else (god knows why some people need to give kids a nn), I offered [name_f]Elodie[/name_f] and [name_f]Mellie[/name_f] as options. I also had a lot of people wanting to call me [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] as a kid, I was always very firm on not wanting to be a [name_u]Charlie[/name_u]. And don’t get called [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] by anyone other than my Mum and sister (who for some reason I’m okay with being a [name_u]Charlie[/name_u] to). You just have to be somewhat politely rude haha, and make sure your daughter is brought up not wanting to be a [name_f]Vi[/name_f] (unless she does, of course).
My first thought for an alternate NN was [name_f]Lottie[/name_f] (like one might get from [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f]). I think it is much cuter than [name_f]Vi[/name_f].
I think using a different NN from the standard works fine, as long as you (gracefully lol!) correct people when the child comes and set the trend of using your chosen NN. People catch on pretty quick if you are set on a particular name.
My sister’s name is [name_f]Hannah[/name_f], but her NN is [name_f]Bella[/name_f]. Far from the standard, but it is what everyone calls her. People do ask why sometimes, but no one is very judgey. NN are something most people don’t care about if it is different or obscure (that is kinda the point anyway, isn’t it?)
I don’t know any Violets that go by nicknames. Vee would be the first one I would think of. If I said [name_f]Vi[/name_f] and you corrected me, I would absolutely listen to you.
I think if you stuck to calling her Vee or something else, you could avoid [name_f]Vi[/name_f] - but only for a certain period of time. Once she is on her own, especially middle or high school, she might decide that she loves [name_f]Vi[/name_f], and you’d have to honor that.
Of course, this could happen with any name under any circumstance; you could name her [name_f]Lola[/name_f] and she could decide she hates it and choose to be called [name_f]Mary[/name_f], and only [name_f]Mary[/name_f], for whatever reason; she could even go to the length of changing her name legally. You don’t really have any control once she becomes her own person.
I would suggest choosing a name you both love - [name_f]Violet[/name_f] - choosing a couple of nicknames that you like - Vee and [name_f]Lettie[/name_f], or Lo, or whatever you want - and agreeing together that while she is small and you still have control, you will politely, but firmly, correct anyone who calls her [name_f]Vi[/name_f]. This is your best shot for avoiding [name_f]Vi[/name_f].
I think you won’t have too much trouble with [name_f]Violet[/name_f]. It’s not so long that it begs for a nickname and it’s not one of those names with instant default nicknames everyone knows like a lot of common classic names ([name_m]Richard[/name_m], [name_m]William[/name_m], [name_f]Katherine[/name_f], [name_f]Margaret[/name_f], etc). If you asked me what I would nickname a [name_f]Violet[/name_f], I would have to think about it. Probably most people will just call her [name_f]Violet[/name_f].
What about Lo? Here’s the thing is it will be easy for you as long as you start soon after birth because people will hear you say it and eventually start using it themselves.
If your daughter’s name is [name_f]Violet[/name_f] and if you (at first then she) insists upon being called [name_f]Violet[/name_f], she will be called [name_f]Violet[/name_f]. To do so otherwise would be very disrespectful to her. The correct method of dealing with people who insist on using some made up nickname is to correct them forcefully until they understand or otherwise cut them off. It is wrong to think that a person cannot control what name they are called by. I would not bother with another nickname, just insist on [name_f]Violet[/name_f].
it’s a good choice.