Middle Name and Dad's First Name - With Poll

See the results of this poll: Should I use Patrick as a middle name?

Respondents: 18 (This poll is closed)

  • Yes: 5 (28%)
  • No: 13 (72%)

While I understand not wanting to leave your newest son out of the loop, so to speak, is there a reason you need all of your sons to have your name as a middle name?

Where I come from that would be extremely unusual – usually the firstborn son has his father’s name as a middle name, but there’s no obligation to continue the trend.

I don’t think your wife is trying to disrespect you by wanting something different. Try talking to her and sharing your feelings. Tell her why you want [name]Patrick[/name], and then be sure to listen to her thoughts too. Perhaps she would like to use her father’s name as the middle? Or some other honored family member or friend? Or perhaps an important part of her heritage?

If you are stuck on using your own name, why not give it a different twist: use an international version ([name]Patten[/name], Padrig), a name with similar cultural roots (Irish would work well), a name that starts with a P ([name]Peter[/name], [name]Payton[/name], [name]Paul[/name], [name]Parker[/name], [name]Palmer[/name], [name]Perry[/name], [name]Philip[/name], [name]Preston[/name], etc.), or a name with the same meaning ([name]Patrick[/name] means “noble,” as does [name]Brian[/name], [name]Earl[/name], [name]Percy[/name], [name]Thane[/name] or [name]Noble[/name]!).

You could also consider giving this son your middle name as a middle name.

If nothing else, maybe you can give your son two middle names – use your name and let your wife choose something she would like!

Good luck!

Here in [name]England[/name], it is unusual to use a parent’s name as the middle name, and I have always found it to be somewhat egotistical, but I will try and answer your question fairly, as I understand that it is farily common in the US (I’m just guessing that that is where you are).

[name]Patrick[/name] is a nice name; it would make a good middle name. However, I don’t think that you need to worry about this son feeling left out - you are his father, and a name does not interfere with that. It might be nice for him to have a middle name which is all his own, rather than sharing it with his brothers.

As for any perceived disrespect from your wife - I don’t think that she means you any disrespect (she is having your child, which I doubt she would do if she didn’t respect you), she is probably simply thinking that you already have two sons named after you, and there are other names that she likes more. And, be honest, have you offered to use the middle spot to honour her? A masculine form of her name, perhaps? My guess is no, in which case, why should she concent to using the middle name to honour you?

If you are set on having a connection to [name]Patrick[/name], why not pick another Irish name, or another name of a patron saint (for example, [name]George[/name]).

Good luck!

I didn’t read your whole post when I voted. I voted for [name]Patrick[/name] because I really love that name. But since you already have two sons with the middle name [name]Patrick[/name], I think it’s time to give that name a rest! Maybe your wife could think of a handsome middle name that you enjoy, too. My husband let me choose our son’s middle name. At the time, he didn’t like the name, but he told me that he liked it. Now my husband loves our son’s middle name. He got used to it.

I think that, seeing as you already have two of your boys named after you, you could let this one go. I understand you don’t want your third son to be left out, and this may be valid, but if your partner does not want to I would in no way take this to be a sign of ‘disrespect,’ you simply have different ideas of what you would name a child. Disagreeing is not disrespectful, and even if she doesn’t like your name that is not disrespecting YOU as a person - at least, I would hope you consider yourself as being more than just your name.

[name]Caden[/name] [name]Patrick[/name] does have a nice flow to it, and if it’s important to you definitely bring it up to your wife, but if she doesn’t agree I think it would be wise to compromise, especially as you are already a namesake for your two other children

Good luck!

What about another family name? Your fathers name or her fathers name or a Grandfathers?


Firstly, I am very fond of the name [name]Patrick[/name] and I voted for it before I read the posts. However, after reading them I have to say please don’t use [name]Patrick[/name] again.

If you had a family name say [name]Smith[/name] I would support that as one of the middle names for all your children but I can’t support a first name repeated for child after child. I think it looks rather odd.

I am with your wife on this go down a different path and if the child ever asks why didn’t you give me the name [name]Patrick[/name] too (which I am pretty sure he won’t ) then just say your naming styles changed when you remarried.

Keep us posted on what you decide on and if you need suggestions you have come to the right place.

I’m glad I read the posts before I voted - I think twice is enough. It is a nice name, but I see your wife’s point. And anyway, there are so many names to love. I bet you will find one that you can both agree on, something meaningful for you both.