Hey all, I looked to see if a thread like this already existed, but I couldn’t find one. I thought it could be healing to have something like this.
So my husband and I recently lost our first pregnancy at almost 7 weeks. It was such a bittersweet experience, and processing that grief together really brought us close. I feel grateful that my body was able to go through the miscarriage process naturally, and I didn’t experience any of the extreme pain or more serious symptoms that I know so many do.
It was more difficult for me than my husband, because for him it was “I will be a dad in several months” but for me, I already felt like a mom, you know?
A friend of mine who went through a similar thing told me that she named the baby she lost, and it helped her in her healing process.
I’ve been a name nerd for more than a decade, and naming my baby was one of the things I was most excited for, so this struck a chord for me.
[name_f]My[/name_f] husband encouraged me to choose a name, but he personally felt like having a name would make it so much more painful to him, so he said I could choose, and then later on, when he feels ready, he’ll ask me what it is.
I was too early to know my baby’s sex, but I had had a feeling that it was a girl, and my mom had the same feeling (without my talking to her about it) so I decided to choose a girl’s name.
For me, I wanted to choose a name that matched the style of the names I plan to use for future children, so she would really feel like a part of the family to me, like she matters. I also wanted something unfamiliar, so I wouldn’t hear it all the time (I work with children) and be triggered by hearing it. I wanted it to be pretty unique to her.
I also felt like, since she wouldn’t have to spend decades correcting people’s spelling of the name, I could choose something a little more extravagant.
Meanings are extremely important to me, so I wanted to choose something that reflects on my experience loving her.
Here’s the name I chose:
[name_f]Zoa[/name_f] means life. I want to remember her life, to celebrate her. Her life mattered to me. She was my first, and I’ll never forget her.
Dragomira means [name_f]Precious[/name_f] [name_u]Peace[/name_u], and [name_f]Precious[/name_f] World. I know that peace was with me from the time she was concieved to the days after she passed. I was at peace. And because of her life, and the sorrow I experienced in my grief, I want to make the world a more precious place. Someday, I believe I’ll be able to show love and support to someone going through a similar thing. I want to make the world a more peaceful, precious place because of my experience with her.
Aesthetically, the name makes me thing of dark shimmery gemstone colors, emerald and amethyst and ruby, like a dragonfly in the sunshine.
That’s my name story for her.
I don’t want to pressure anyone to share anything they’re uncomfortable with, but if you’d like to share your story about naming a child you lost, I’d love to hear it