I’m not trying to adopt, but I thought this group needed to be added to the rest!
I’m not trying to adopt currently, but I hope to someday. I would love to hear stories from people who have been there. Particularly if you think it’s ok to adopt a child who is a different race from you? I see no issues with it, but I’ve heard that it is often discouraged because the children don’t have anyone in the house who looks like them. It doesn’t seem like that should be such a big problem in 2010!
I really don’t see a problem with adopting a kid from another country. There is a family in my neighborhood with a boy and a girl, and they adopted a girl from [name]China[/name]. She’s in 2nd grade and I’m pretty sure they adopted her when she was very young. But, as far as I can tell, she doesn’t feel left out. I see her playing with her siblings and other neighborhood kids all the time.
Also, one of my friends was adopted from [name]China[/name] when she was 4 (she’s almost 16 now) and I asked her if she ever felt out of place, because I was curious. And she said no because her parents love her more than her biological parents could have and she’s always been around accepting people. So I think that’s the key, to have an accepting and loving family.
I also want to adopt a kid from [name]Asia[/name] one day, and after seeing these two stories (and my mom was adopted, unfortunately into an abusive family) I know it’s the right thing to do.
So, [name]Lyndsay[/name], I know I don’t have firsthand experience, but I hope this helps!
Theres a (reality)show on CMT [name]Canada[/name] called Meet The Wilsons, they are singers, and have 2 biological sons, and adopted a daughter, [name]Lennox[/name], who is african-american, the adoption is chronicled on the show, and its very sweet… anyone who has/is adopting should watch it, the 1st season deals with [name]Lennox[/name]'s adoption, and includes the family’s heartbreak after there 1st adoption attempt fails.
I think that, within a family, race is not an issue. You dont love your father, because he looks like you, you love him because he is your daddy, he is the one who tucked you in at night, gave you ice cream when mom said no, and the one who taught you how to swim… you know?
I have a couple of friend and they just adopted a little girl from South [name]Carolina[/name]. She had a baby boy from her previously marriage, and after she married with her actually husband they had another boy. They think they can’t have more kids, so they decided to adopt a baby girl. It was really hard the process, but after 7 months waiting for, they adopt a little princess. So cute ‘-’
I have three girls at home, all are under 5 so it’s hard to me. But maybe when my youngest get 10/14, i will adopt. It’s wonderful this experience, and i hope i’ll enjoy it to !
My friend’s baby is so calm and it’s really fun and beautiful.
ADOPT, IT’S WONDERFUL
I’m not trying to adopt right now, but I definitely plan to in the future. I have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) and my doctor has already said that I will have a really hard time conceiving a child.
My grandma had 4 kids of her own and then adopted/fostered 6 others. She said it was the best decision she’s ever made.
[name]Hi[/name], My names [name]Saskia[/name] and my husband and I have 3 girls our oldest is biological and are two youngest where gifted (I dont like adopt sounds to clinical) to us. My 4 year old is from [name]China[/name] and my 15 month old is from the Ukraine. Now my husband and I are contemplating on wether or not to adopt another child a boy, to even out the playin fields just a little bit lol. An if there is anyone out there considering adoption I say go for it. I am not going to lie the journey is long hard and extremely stressful, but once they place your child in your arms you dont remember any of the bad times. Its a birth of the heart.
Oh boy, [name]Love[/name] this group! My husband and I adopted our daughter [name]Abbey[/name] when she was 7 months old! I am currentley pregnant with twins but do plan on adopting again when the twins are around the age of 3-4.
Adoption is a beautiful, beautiful gift, whether or not you have biological children or are adopting because you cannot conceive. My husband and I had problems conceiving, so we decided to adopt. We adopted our daughter from the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico, so she is a different race from both of us (we are caucasian). At least where I live, I don’t think it matters at all that she is different. I guess we’ll see more when she gets older, but for now, we are just her mom and dad. It might help that she goes to a sort of “alternative” preschool (ie. there are a few other internationally adopted children, children with gay parents, etc.), and so she has always been in a loving, accepting environment from the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes to bed. (and hopefully in her dreams too!). Plus, I agree - its 2010! We should be past all these differences now. And at least concerning my daughter, we are. No one has ever made any comments at the store or looked at us twice because I’m pretty light-skinned and she has pretty dark skin. I’m her mom and she’s my baby and that’s all that matters.
Also, not sure if anyone else has talked about how adopted children feel around biological children, but my daughter is extremely excited for her baby sister (the baby i am expecting now). She is constantly asking, “When is [name]Maisie[/name] coming? I want her to play with me!” and trying to listen to my belly. She also has a doll that she practices on, changing its diaper and feeding with a bottle, so that she can “help Mami and Papi when [name]Mei[/name] [name]Mei[/name] comes” (she already has her own nickname for her sister - [name]Mei[/name] [name]Mei[/name], or little sister in Mandarin-Chinese)
Sorry that was such a long story, but hopefully it helps someone who’s considering adoption!
Two of my cousins are adopted from Korea. My aunts adopted them as infants at the same time when they lived next door to eachother. I know they appreciated having eachother growing up but as far as we all see them, they’re just family!
In fact one of them has two kids of her own now and I remember at one of her baby showers her mom was talking about each of her kids’ births. She had two kids before adopting the third and then had a 4th child biologically. It was so funny because my aunt was going down the line saying “well [name]Jess[/name] was a pretty tough birth, [name]Jeremy[/name] was hard but fast and I remember a lot of pain, and [name]John[/name] was pretty easy, [name]Jamie[/name] (the adopted one)… Was… Well I can’t even remember hers so it couldn’t have been too bad!”.
She was serious! And it took a brief second for us all to start laughing and for my aunt to remember that she hadn’t given birth to [name]Jamie[/name]! And then she said that in fact [name]Jamie[/name] was the hardest because she spent weeks in Korea trying to get her! It was very cute and a clear demonstration of how all of her kids truly are hers!
I know I’m coming in a little late to this discussion, but I have some questions for those of you have already adopted.
My husband and I have two children already, but would like to adopt in the future. We are hoping to adopt domestically instead of internationally, as we know that there are so many children in our own country that need good homes.
Have any of you adopted domestically? If so, was it through an agency or through the foster-care system? What would be your advice to parents who are interested in beginning the process, but don’t know where to start?
I’d love to hear if anyone has success stories with domestic adoptions! We are so excited to add to our family!
My sister is adopted and is of a different race than the rest of our family. Honestly, it took me until college to realize that! I really believe that race is not an issue unless it is made into one. Someday, my husband and I hope to adopt, and race won’t even be a consideration in our adoption process. I hope to instill my my children - like my parents did in me - that it is character that counts most, not physical characteristics.
Is there anyone here from Australia? I’ve always wanted to adopt, domestically, but apparently less than ten domestic adoptions happen each year, and it’s common to be waitin for 4 years plus…I’d like to hear from someone who’s been through it
I am not even out of school yet, but I definitely plan on adopting when I am older! My neighbors are mainly my inspiration. The dad had a teen son from a previous relationship, then he and his new wife had difficult concieving. So they started the adoption process to adopt a little toddler girl. They were still going through the process when the mother discovered she was pregnant. They still adopted the little girl, and the girls are about 6 months apart. The parents became foster parents, and years later, adopted a little girl. Then they adopted a (then) three-day-old boy (he is about 4 now). [name]Just[/name] a few weeks ago, they adopted another little foster daughter (who is partially deaf).
My step-father’s friend adopted a little girl ([name]Harper[/name]) from [name]China[/name] a few years ago. My mother said she would like to do the same, so they checked into it. Aparently, my step-father is too old (he is 57 this year) to adopt. I thought they might give us an older child, like a teacher at our school (him and his wife adopted a 7-year-old girl from [name]China[/name]). Then my mother wanted to adopt a child domestically (my step-father’s friend also adopted domestically before [name]Harper[/name]), and she wanted to get a mixed-race child. Apparently there are many mixed-race (half-black, half-white) children in foster care in our area). My step-father said he didn’t care if the child was white, black, mixed-race, or polka-dotted. We haven’t checked into more because my mother heard all of these stories about parents who have adopted children who tried to kill them, or the children acted up. I hope we do adopt, though. I would love a little brother! My step-father would too, because he’d like to have a son (he has two bio-girls).
My aunt adopted a Korean toddler almost 30 years ago, and they raised her for 4 years before they sent her back. Apparently, they didn’t like the fact she didn’t “fit into the family”. Too bad, I would have loved to meet her.