Name Gridlock!

So with only 10 weeks to go husband and I have settled on our favorite names- the only problem is we each have one that we love that the other just cant get into. Its not that we hate each others favorite, its just that we each feel our name is a better fit. We have tried multiple strategies to get to a common name we agree on or find alternatives but- nothing. The middle name is set to honor a very important family member so we cant each have our favorite. We are at an impasse. So of course I turned to fellow berries… [name]How[/name] did you deal with the naming gridlock? Did you give in? Find a compromise? Take turns naming children? Wait to see your little guy/gal to decide? I guess most people figure it out but right now I just dont know how that will work.

[name]Just[/name] to give you an idea of the two contenders- [name]Archer[/name] [name]James[/name] H-- and [name]Callen[/name] [name]James[/name] H–.

I feel your pain! This sounds like the exact situation my husband and I are in, also with only 10 weeks remaining. I will be interested to hear how other people made a final decision/compromise.

Have you considered just doing two middles? [name]Archer[/name] [name]James[/name] [name]Callen[/name] or what not?

[name]How[/name] are you pronouncing [name]Callen[/name]? My old neighborhood was called [name]Callen[/name] “cal-in” and I thought it’d make a cute name. I like both [name]Archer[/name] and [name]Callen[/name] so I couldn’t choose. I love [name]James[/name], could making it the first name be a compromise? I’m not crazy about double middles but they are a compromise. I like:
[name]Archer[/name] [name]Callen[/name] [name]James[/name]
[name]Callen[/name] [name]Archer[/name] [name]James[/name]
[name]Callen[/name] [name]James[/name] [name]Archer[/name]
[name]James[/name] [name]Callen[/name] [name]Archer[/name]

I would say to relax and wait to see him. You’ve got your list narrowed down to two, most people go to the hospital with a few options anyway

Sounds familiar. Before my son was born my husband and I each had a favorite picked out (I preferred [name]Rowan[/name], husband liked [name]Davis[/name]), but since we both liked both names we thought we’d wait to meet our little guy and then decide which one fit him best. Our little boy arrived and we held him in our arms and tried calling him one name, then the other… and neither felt right. We ended up naming him something entirely different from what we’d had picked out. He just felt like a [name]Thad[/name]. [name]Don[/name]'t know if that helps, but for us we just had to play it by ear a bit. Sometimes having the baby there and being right down to the wire inspires compromises that never occurred to you before.

I sat my husband down and told him how strongly I felt about my name choice and asked him to take some time to consider the name I liked. After all, he’s already giving your baby his last name and you want some input too. Ultimately he relented and I let him choose the baby’s middle name. I know your situation is different but that’s what I did!

Wow it is so good to hear I am not alone in this. Husband really doesnt like two middle names. Says its too hard for official government forms (military family so we will be filling out a lot of those) We are pronouncing [name]Callen[/name] -[name]Cal[/name]-in. (like calender) Husband is very nervous about going to the hospital with no name picked out. He feels that we will just end up ruining the special day by having the same disagreement over the name and no resolution. I think it might be nice to see what he looks like. LOL. We are always at odds with this naming business.

Good luck! We were in the same situation with our first. My husband just started calling the baby by his name choice over and over again for weeks until I caved! I’m supposed to get to pick a name for baby number 2, but so far he has vetoed my choices and keeps making his own suggestions. I’m going to try and remain strong.

Anyway, I was considering [name]Callen[/name] myself for our baby boy due in Sept, but I decided there were too many ways to spell and pronounce it. Not that you asked for this advice, but I personally say you should go with [name]Archer[/name]. Not sure if that is your choice or your husband’s choice, but I like it. It is strong. And no one will be unsure how to pronounce or spell it. Again - good luck!

Sounds tricky! I guess that one thing I would say is that the child belongs to both of you and both of you will call your child by that name for the rest of his life. I think it has to be something you both like. If going back to the drawing board isn’t an option, maybe consider nicknames, possible sibling names, and longevity. Good luck to both of you!

[name]Both[/name] great names, but since you’re down to just two and you don’t HATE either, I’d say let twiddling practical considerations be the deciding vote – [name]Archer[/name] will be much easier for the world to spell and pronounce. You and your little boy will get back the cumulative 256 days you would otherwise spend telling people “with an E at the end” and “as in ‘calender’”.

Plus I believe [name]Pam[/name] once wrote a great piece on Nameberry on how kids with first names that begin with A tend to do better in school, too! Two for one bonus! :slight_smile:

I agree with the comments above about [name]Archer[/name]-- I think it will be easier for most people to pronounce. What about a compromise sort of name though-- one that is neither person’s first choice, but maybe a second choice for both? Some suggestions that try to keep some of the “flavor” of [name]Archer[/name] and [name]Callen[/name]-- [name]Carson[/name], [name]Callum[/name], [name]Colin[/name], [name]Allen[/name], [name]Arlo[/name], [name]Arlen[/name], [name]Alec[/name], [name]Arrow[/name], [name]Harper[/name], [name]Asher[/name].