So my baby girl is 9 months, and I don’t necessarily have name regret, but name spelling regret. We were going to name her [name_f]Caroline[/name_f], then someone suggested spelling it [name_f]Caraline[/name_f] in the hospital (pronounced the same). I liked that it didn’t have [name_f]Carol[/name_f] in it, since I’ve never really liked that name, and it made it a little more unique. I was freshly postpartum, hadn’t slept, and was feeling so much pressure from the nurses to name her and we went with [name_f]Caraline[/name_f]. At the time I liked it, but I started having second thoughts a couple weeks later and I still think about it most days, as much as I’ve tried to accept it. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband likes the a, but I just can’t get past it looking “off” a lot of times. I don’t hate it…there’s parts of it I like, but I think if I could go back I would choose [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] and that hasn’t stopped bugging me.
Sorry long post, it’s just been super hard for me…I worry what she will think as she gets older, and I would feel embarrassed to change it now.
Any helpful perspectives or suggestions would be helpful. Thank you
Fortunately, she is still young enough for you to change her name on her birth certificate. I think she will really appreciate it if you change her name on her birth certificate. I know this from my own personal experience. My name is Caroline. However, I was born Carolyn. As a child, I frequently had to spell out my name and articulate the “yn” sound. Many people misspelled and mispronounced my name. I think it is because Caroline is more conventional and timeless than Carolyn, which is date-stamped to the mid-twentieth century. While my parents prefer Carolyn, I prefer the timelessness, elegance and familiarity of Caroline that Carolyn doesn’t have to offer. I finally took the initiative to legally change it when I was 24. Today when I order a cup of coffee and they ask for a name for the order, I can just say “Caroline” and they always spell it correctly. However, before I changed my name, I had to spell it out every time I ordered a cup of coffee. While it is possible that your daughter may prefer more unique names, in which she can legally change her name, your daughter will most likely appreciate having a name that she can say out loud and doesn’t have to spell out for everyone.
I’m sorry you’re going through this! I know this may not be helpful in making a decision, but I think both [name_f]Caraline[/name_f] and [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] are lovely and you really can’t go wrong, whatever you choose.
That said, I think if you’ve been having consistent regrets about the name for 9 months now, changing the spelling might be the right decision, because it doesn’t sound like this is a feeling that will just go away.
I also think it’s an impossible game to guess how your daughter will feel about the spelling of her name in the future – if you keep her spelling, maybe she’ll prefer the uniqueness of [name_f]Caraline[/name_f], maybe she’ll be frustrated with it. Same goes if you change it – maybe she’ll appreciate the traditional spelling and people’s familiarity with it, maybe she’ll wish she had something more unique. Having this debate with yourself shows how much you care about your daughter and want the best for her But because you really can’t know how she’ll feel, I think it’s best to just remind yourself of that truth and go with the spelling you prefer.
Lastly, I don’t think you should feel embarrassed about changing it now. It’s only a one letter difference, and it’s not like your daughter will have to adjust to a totally different name, which is often the case with later name changes.
We went through this same situation with our son’s name. He has a well established name and we added an unnecessary extra letter, pronunciation was the same. Around the time he turned 1 it really started to bother me. The spelling just looked off. I brought it up with my husband and we thought it was too late to change it. Still I couldn’t shake the feeling and we ended up changing it right before his 5th birthday. He was learning to spell his name and we decided it was really now or never. Was it a bit embarrassing to tell people? Yes, but it was best for our family and who really cares what other people think! I am so glad we changed it. It makes me so happy to see his name now and I don’t regret changing it one bit.
I think because the change is only a slight one, you could still change it now, before she learns to spell, if you would feel more comfortable and think it would make her life a bit easier
Caroline is a great name. I can see how you could decide on a unique spelling in a moment shortly after giving birth then consider the advantages of the standard spelling later. It would be no problem to change the spelling to Caroline and your family could look back on it as a bit of a funny story decades from now.
I would change it for sure! You’ve given Caraline a fair chance and you’re still not comfortable, which is all you need to say to people - and you can just tell them on a need-to-know/ as-you-go basis. No one else or very few people outside you and your DH will be using her name for legal, medical or school purposes so you can just tell people slowly as feels comfortable to you. It doesn’t matter if they write Caraline on a card or text and you then casually correct it. Caraline will slowly be replaced. My cousin changed the pronunciation of his name when he was 13 and none of us said anything to him and no one mentions it. My brother’s son was called a completely different name for about a month and I think it’s a once every two years family joke, if that, and my nephew laughs about it. Don’t think about what anyone else will think - but fwiw I think most people will understand your decision and be able to relate to the naming process being tricky. I would change it including so she doesn’t have to correct people, spell out her name, and generally engage in a conversation about her name (eg “is it the same as Caroline or is it Cara-line?”). Good luck!
I’m sorry you’re feeling unsure about your daughter’s name spelling!
If almost a year has passed and you’re still feeling concerned about her name, I truly believe you may need to change it.
Here are some questions that may help you deliberate:
How do you feel when you write her name in messages, official documents or letters? Which spelling is the most natural to you? Why did you change her name at the hospital? Was [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] / [name_f]Caraline[/name_f] your favorite name before going into labor or did something else happen during your pregnancy/birth/postpartum? Did you felt pressured by anyone else other that the nurses? How does your husband feel about your daughter’s name? Does her different spelling have any meaning behind it? Why don’t you like the nickname [name_f]Carol[/name_f]? Would it bother if if she would go by [name_f]Carol[/name_f] someday? Does your baby have any nicknames at the moment? Are other people’s views bothering you or interfering in your opinion about [name_f]Caraline[/name_f] / [name_f]Caroline[/name_f]?
Since it is only a minor spelling change, I think you should follow your intuition and change your daughter’s name. A simple letter can make a difference sometimes. She’s still very young, and she will only learn how to spell her name in a few years. That gives you a lot of time to change all her documents! Also, I believe that because you’re only changing one letter, it will be very simple for everyone to adjust. Probably, only close family members and friends will notice that small change. The pronounciation will be the same or even clearer with [name_f]Caroline[/name_f], which is a bonus! I personally prefer traditional spellings as they’re easier to spell and pronounce. In this case, for example, I would think you would pronounce [name_f]Caraline[/name_f] like [name_f]Cara[/name_f], not [name_f]Caroline[/name_f]. In addition, your baby will not be aware of this change for now. Perhaps she will find out the story one day, but if you feel confident about it, she will understand your decision.
However, she’s YOUR baby! You and your husband are the ones who have to make this important decision. You both need to love and admire your child’s name! One day, she will ask you why you named her [name_f]Caraline[/name_f] / [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] and you will want to feel proud about it!
Talk to your husband. [name_f]Share[/name_f] your feelings, thoughts and desires. Make a list of pros and cons about the possibility of changing the spelling. At the end, please follow your heart!
Thank you everyone so much for the responses, it helps to get an outsider’s perspective. One of my hold ups with changing it is that my mom suggested spelling it differently. She wasn’t pushy about it at all, but we had already wrote [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] on the board and shared it with her when she came to visit, so I feel a little frustrated about that sometimes. I love my mom though and worry I’d hurt her feelings changing it back.
[name_f]My[/name_f] daughters middle name is [name_f]Hope[/name_f], and we were going back and forth between that or [name_f]Eden[/name_f] for a middle name. At the end we were going back and forth between [name_f]Caraline[/name_f] [name_f]Hope[/name_f] or [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] [name_f]Eden[/name_f], because I wanted her name to have something unique about it… but now I’m realizing that traditional isn’t bad haha.
I know I’m probably thinking wayyy to much about this, but I always looked forward to naming a baby, then it ended up being super hard for us, and it’s sad to me that I still can’t look at her name and really love it.
I think [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] [name_f]Eden[/name_f] sounds lovely. [name_f]My[/name_f] name is [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] [name_f]Edith[/name_f] by the way.
I would 100% change it! I think when the thought doesn’t leave you, it’s there for a reason. Nobody will really noticed since the name is essentially the same and it will only make her life easier, so she is not always having to correct the spelling.
Oh gosh naming a baby is so hard! It’s a huge overwhelming decision that is all encompassing. Naming my daughter was the biggest decision I’ve ever made and it’s completely normal to have regret. Concerning this decision I would just change it. Changing one letter is not going to make any difference to your daughter life. I would be hesitant at 9 months old changing her name from [name_f]Clarissa[/name_f] to [name_f]Alexandra[/name_f] for example but this decision will make no difference. She doesn’t know how to spell her name she has no idea that it’s [name_f]Caraline[/name_f] rather than [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] especially when they are pronounced the same. Your child just recognises the sounds of her name so I would just go with spelling change rather than having this feeling hanging over you.
I would change it, especially with no pronunciation change. It will prevent so.much.spelling headaches in the future! Plus, while I think it’s fine- I also agree it looks a little “off”.
[name_m]Hi[/name_m] everyone, so she’s 11 months and I’m still wrestling, I’m worried to make the wrong decision, but I feel the clock ticking because I’d like to change it before her first birthday if we are going to. I’m afraid it will be sad for awhile if we change it and I’m worried about what others will think. I’m feeling so crazy about thinking about it so much but I can’t seem to let it go. Wish I could go back in time and just choose [name_f]Caroline[/name_f]
You’ve given it another couple of months and still want [name_f]Caroline[/name_f], I understand it’s a hard decision but maybe just rip the bandage off and do it? [name_f]Caraline[/name_f] is sweet and unique, but [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] is classic, timeless, and elegant. Both names are pretty, though one is more prone to misspelling. Since she’s still so young and it’s only a slight difference, the deciding factor here is your feeling. If you don’t do it, I think you won’t stop thinking about it. Honestly, with only one letter change, most people will forget quickly that she ever had different spelling to begin with.
What are your husband’s thoughts on the [name_f]Caraline[/name_f] → [name_f]Caroline[/name_f] possible switch? As long as he is not overly attached to the [name_f]Caraline[/name_f] spelling in your situation, I would change it to [name_f]Caroline[/name_f]. [name_f]Caraline[/name_f] is also beautiful, of course, but it seems to me like you will regret not changing it more than you would regret changing it.
I agree with the berries, change the spelling. It’s a really minor correction in the grand scheme of things, and also, I don’t think your mom will mind. You said she wasn’t pushy about it which indicates to me she wouldn’t have an issue with it being changed. And anyway, this is your baby at the end of the day. I think in the future if/when people spell her name incorrectly, you may regret not changing it especially since you thought about it for several months after she was born, you know? [name_m]Just[/name_m] do what makes you happy. Good luck.
But because you really can’t know how she’ll feel, I think it’s best to just remind yourself of that truth and go with the spelling you prefer.
