I have a 2yo, his name is Rhydian [name_u]Ellis[/name_u] (sometimes we spell his name Rhydyan as its easier for some people idkw) I loved his name and thought it was perfect for him until a few weeks ago. Im pregnant with b/g twins and just have begun to feel his name isnāt right. Overtime when we say it it just sounds like RID (as in get rid of) It might sound silly but it just bugs me!
If we were to change it it would maybe be to something like Ryzian or Aryzai (ah-riz-eye)
What do you think?
I understand your points about Rhydian, but maybe you should ask your son, if he can talk. By 2, I knew my name and talk somewhat clearly. It would be very confusing to a young child if their name suddenly changed.
Could you call him by his middle name [name_u]Ellis[/name_u]? My mom goes by her middle name, and just uses her first initial on legal documents.
That way you donāt need to completely change it
My mom changed my name when I was 6 months old. I have two birth certificates with two different names. She also had name regret. But at age two, it might be harder. My two year old knows her name and responds to it. Iām not sure I could really change it. Are there more alternative spellings you could consider instead?
At 2 years old, children do know their names. Is there any way you could call him [name_u]Reid[/name_u]/Ryde instead of Rid? That wouldnāt be a huge transition for him then. I donāt think Rhydian is inherently a bad name at all.
Thanks for replying!
He has a speech disorder and has autism so i canāt ask him what he thinks.
Personally I would be unable to change my childās name. When my son was born the name we had picked out became a part of himā¦a very big part of him.
Your son has a name! Heās 2 - he knows his name. Itās part of his identity. Changing it now would be deeply wrong.
I would call him by his middle name, [name_u]Ellis[/name_u]. It is a beautiful name and would solve the problem with your name regret. When his older, he can decide to go by Rhydian or [name_u]Ellis[/name_u]. The one he likes best.
Ask your son how he feels. He is old enough to know his name and have some attachment. The sooner, the better, as it wonāt get easier, as he gets older, if you want to change it.
The middle name may well be the best option, as [name_u]Ellis[/name_u] is lovely. ā
If you use a nickname (e.g. Rhy, Rhyzzie, [name_u]Rhys[/name_u]/Rhyz, Rhyddie, [name_f]Dian[/name_f], [name_m]Ian[/name_m], [name_f]Didi[/name_f], etc), you might not notice the Rid sound so much?
Itās not something Iād notice if I heard the name, and I doubt other people notice it (have you asked friends, other parents in your area, etc?). So maybe the important thing is to find a nickname youāre happy with so that you donāt have to hear the āRidā sound. If itās only been bothering you for a few weeks, the feeling might fade. I think itās worth waiting until youāve settled into life with the twins, and see how you feel then.
If you still find you dislike the name, and using a nickname isnāt helping, and if you always (or almost always) use a nickname at the moment (such as Rhy from your user name), then it might not be too much of a problem to change his name to Rhyzian (or [name_m]Rhodri[/name_m], [name_u]Rhys[/name_u], [name_u]Rory[/name_u] etc).
That said, if Rhydian does know his name (if he seems to respond to it as much as he responds to nicknames, pet names etc), I would be hesitant to rename him. My concern is mostly that my understanding is that continuity and routine can be quite important for people on the autism spectrum and I expect that a name change might be quite disruptive to that sense of continuity. Iām not an expert on autism, though. It might be worthwhile asking a specialist/therapist/doctor - whoever youāre currently seeing in relation to Rhydianās condition. If youāre not seeing anyone, perhaps it might be worth asking this question on a forum or in a support group for parents of children with autism, or contacting a support service?
Good luck with the decision, and congratulations on the twins.
I would not change his name. He already knows it at two years old, and I would worry that with him being autistic it may be more difficult for him to understand or adjust. His name is fine, donāt worry about it. I think you could call him ā[name_u]Reed[/name_u]ā as a nickname and it would work just fine.
I personally wouldnāt change it. Heās two and knows what his name is. If he was an infant, I wouldnāt think it a huge deal. I do like the suggestions of using his middle name or a nickname, but Iām not sure how plausible that is. Of the autistic children I know and interact with, routine is everything and change is a big deal. Heās already getting twin siblings, which will already be changing his world in a drastic way. I donāt think taking his name would be a great cherry on top.
I suggest sticking with whatever you call him normally. Iāll admit, I canāt figure out how to pronounce his name, but those who interact with him should be able to pick it up after some correction.
No. You canāt chop and change his name on a whim. A name is a gift and once it is given it belongs to the child, not you. Up to a certain point it may be reasonable to change a name simply because you realised you didnāt like it as much as you thought you did, but 2 years old is waaaay beyond that point.
There may be special circumstances where a parent could reasonably change a name after the child is old enough to know it, but a niggling regret is definitely not one of them, especially since it only started bothering you a few weeks ago!
I would say just wait and the feeling will probably pass as suddenly as it came. This is a really short-term thing youāre feeling - as you said, for most of his life you loved his name. Itās not like you always felt you made the wrong decision.
I donāt think a name change at age 2 would necessarily be devastatingā¦ children are resilient and some endure a lot worse than hearing a different name.
Having said that, it has been his name for 2 years and is a part of his history now. So I agree with PPs that you may be able to find a way to tweak his name to make it sound like something nicer to you.
Have you thought about calling him [name_u]Rhys[/name_u] (pronounced [name_u]Reece[/name_u])? That kind of combines the spelling and sound of his first name with the ending spelling and sound of his mn [name_u]Ellis[/name_u].
Good luck with your decision!
I think Rhydian [name_u]Ellis[/name_u] is beautiful name! And the nickname Rid quite cute and doesnāt bring to mind that you are trying to get rid of him! But you can always keep Rhydian and call him Rhiz or Rhinā¦ or honestly any nickname you choose! [name_m]Even[/name_m] [name_u]Ryan[/name_u]!
Considering his autism I donāt think it is a good idea to change his name. But also think that maybe being a mother of a special needs child and pregnant with twins must be incredibly overwhelming! So maybe this regret comes more from the situation than the name itself? Would it really solve what you are feeling?
Iām going to respectfully go against what the majority is saying here. I think you can most certainly change his name. In my opinion, itās no different if you now call him Rhydian and change his nickname to [name_u]Reed[/name_u], or whether you make it official/legal and change it. Both are still a change to him, and heās young enough to adapt to the change. There may be a process of using both names for a while and then dropping the Rhydian.
What might you change it to?
I would wade into research on the psychological effects of name changes. It is my understanding that most experts advise against changing a name after about 6 months of age. My husband and I have been researching it from the perspective of prospective adoptive parents, though, so perhaps the advice is different for situations like yours (obviously your child doesnāt have the added traumas of a complete change in environment and primary caregivers).
If I were you, I would stick with the name you loved enough to name him at birth. I like the idea of [name_u]Reid[/name_u] as a nickname, but even introducing a new nickname if you cease to call him by his full name can be a jarring change for a little guy. You would probably do well to introduce it over time by calling him [name_u]Reid[/name_u]-Rhydian for a month or two before gradually phasing out Rhydian from your daily vocabulary.
Iām sorry youāre feeling this regret. I think you should do your best to move past it yourself because it is probably a lot lot easier for you to accept feeling out of love with his name than it would be for your child to accept a name at 2 years old thatās completely foreign to him. With the example of the research Iāve looked into for adoption, most researchers suspect that children begin to associate the old name (which they remember by that age) with something bad and unwanted and worry that they themselves might be bad or unwanted, too.
Leave his name. Itās very handsome.