I’m so very sorry to hear you’re still battling name regret for sweet Ru’s name. [name_f][/name_f] I’ve always admired your taste in names, and loved [name_f]Leni[/name_f] & Ru’s names together!
[name_f][/name_f]
Like the other berries, I agree with everything @kachenka[name_f][/name_f] said. [name_f][/name_f] Given Ru’s age, I would be very reticent to change her name now. [name_f][/name_f] Something like changing from [name_m]Ru[/name_m] to [name_f]Rue[/name_f] or Ruthie/Ruth [name_f][/name_f]- those seem feasible especially if you would still use [name_m]Ru[/name_m].
[name_f][/name_f]
If you do decide to change it, I think I would change it gradually. [name_f][/name_f] I have heard of stories of adoptive families who change their children’s names who transition slowly from say, [name_f]Tinsley[/name_f], to [name_f]Tessie[/name_f] [name_f]Tinsley[/name_f], to just [name_f]Tess[/name_f], etc.? [name_f][/name_f] And I think you could do something similar from “Ruru” to “Lovely little Ru” to Ru-Lou to just [name_f]Lou[/name_f]? [name_f][/name_f] or perhaps [name_f]Lou[/name_f] can be mama’s special nickname, too, especially if your husband and most of your circle are really fond of [name_m]Ru[/name_m] and it suits her really well. [name_f][/name_f] I have known a couple families where the dad calls his daughter a name that literally has nothing to do with her name and no one else calls her that [name_f][/name_f]- and [name_m]Ru[/name_m] and [name_f]Lou[/name_f] don’t sound that different.
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Hoping for you that you can find peace in this situation, whatever you decide. [name_f][/name_f] [name_f][/name_f] [name_f][/name_f] All the best.
I feel the difficulty and pain in your words! Oh, this just sounds terrible to be stuck in. So sorry.
[name_f][/name_f]
I don’t have any majorly helpful suggestions, I don’t think [name_f][/name_f]— just empathy. I have a [name_m]Royce[/name_m] (G, age 6) who I call [name_m]Roo[/name_m] pretty often. Her sisters all have more traditional, heard-of names (Sarah-Cla!re, El!se, and Charl0tte). It is such a special, fiery name, and it’s just so her[name_f][/name_f]. Sounds similar-ish with your [name_m]Ru[/name_m]. I have a fondness for [name_m]Ru[/name_m] / [name_m]Roo[/name_m] / [name_f]Rue[/name_f]. So sweet and cheerful. Makes me think of little flowers!
At the age of 2, she definitely recognises her own name. I wouldn’t change it to a completely different one like [name_f]Lou[/name_f], but I don’t see a problem with changing her full name to [name_f]Ruby[/name_f] or [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] and still calling her [name_m]Ru[/name_m].
This is really hard, and you’ve gotten some good advice here!
[name_f][/name_f]
I find that name regret is sometimes about the name, and sometimes it’s about the name but with deeper roots. I think you’re doing such a great job exploring this already- thinking about how challenging the process was to choose Ru’s name. I’d encourage you to keep exploring these feelings (on your own or with support) because I suspect that will help you to reach a solution that puts you at peace in the longterm, just as much as any possible name changes. And if you had some prenatal or postpartum anxiety that made that naming experience challenging, then it would be normal for those feelings to resurface a little as you continue to welcome your third child. I truly hope I’m not overstepping!
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Regarding her name- it’s much harder to introduce a child with one syllable-names, especially with softer sounds. That’s happened to me with my daughter (Fern), but I’ve heard parents say the same thing about names like [name_f]Elle[/name_f]. I find that I have to really enunciate and say Fern’s name loudly and sometimes I say, “like the plant.” If you don’t already have a “way” that you explain Ru’s name, it might be helpful. I feel like we get more complements when people understand her name straightaway!
[name_f][/name_f]
I agree with others about a name change. At two, children are so concrete in their thinking and closely identify with their names. Plus, as you said, she’s such a [name_m]Ru[/name_m]! But you probably have some wiggle room to change her legal documentation in a way that provides her with flexibility down the line but to continue to call her [name_m]Ru[/name_m], if that feels satisfying to you. I’m not hearing that adding the e for [name_f]Rue[/name_f] will spark joy for you (or even just feeling of peaceful resolution). What I do wonder about is that change that you made at two weeks post partum away from Ruth/Ruthie. Would you find any peace in going back to [name_f]Ruth[/name_f] or [name_f]Ruthie[/name_f] as her legal name, and continuing to mostly call her [name_m]Ru[/name_m]?
The one syllable name is so hard! Idk what it is about it! I have a G.us[name_f][/name_f] and it’s almost a miracle if someone hears his name right the first time. (Happy to know I’m not the only one who’s experienced it!) It’s almost like people’s brains need time to catch up to their ears. When i introduce him with some form of [name_m]Augustine[/name_m], nn [name_m]Gus[/name_m] It goes much more smoothly.
Only seeing this now - and we’ve had lots of lovely chats about names.
I agree with the gist of everyone’s else’s comments:
Ru is striking and chic and to me has more punch and sparkle than Lou. I have a best buddy called Lou and it is cute and charming but also somehow a bit lost on your mouth and boyish in a not good way. Ru is more intentional to me. I also prefer that they have their own starting letter. Not a main factor but I do prefer it.
I’d keep Ru - or I’d bring back/in Ruth, Ruthie or Ruby. I really love Rooney (nn Roo?) and would mean a N thread between the three. I guess it’s whether Leni and Rooney too similar sounding. Maybe Rue or Roux if being slightly longer would help, I think I prefer Roux but then I get back to why not just keep the streamlined and confident, Ru.
I agree that it’s worth thinking about postpartum anxiety or existentialist angst generally - I remember I had a massive anxiety spike at around the 6-7 month mark (apparently common as massive hormonal change as the protective hormones drop off radically and exhaustion kicks in). I still occasionally think about the other few names I could have called Willa - harder when looks like only one kid for me! But it’s very much a background thing as her life and who she are so much attached to her name. You’ve said Ru is a Ru and that should be your guiding star. Good luck
[name_f]So[/name_f] sorry you’re having name regret!
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Personally, I think [name_m]Ru[/name_m] is really cute! I initially thought of [name_f]Rue[/name_f] from [name_m]The[/name_m] Hunger [name_m]Games[/name_m] instead of [name_f]Winnie[/name_f] the Pooh. I know it might not help, but [name_f]Rue[/name_f] [name_f]Ines[/name_f] also sounds really good and cohesive with your other daughters’ names, in my opinion.
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I wish there was more I could say to help, but I echo the other commenters and think the best thing to do would be to keep her nickname as Ru/Rue, with a longer full name. Maybe something like [name_f]Rowena[/name_f], [name_f]Rumi[/name_f], [name_f]Ruella[/name_f], or [name_f]Rubina[/name_f]?
[name_f][/name_f] [name_f][/name_f] All the best.
