but… but [name_m]Jack[/name_m] and [name_f]Annie[/name_f] 
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I think about the [name_u]Magic[/name_u] Treehouse books all the time! I picture my kids going into the woods and the Sun flickering through the trees while they dream up [name_m]King[/name_m] [name_m]Arthur[/name_m], dragons, etc. The narrator uses my name choices, though 
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When @fearlessfirefly and I comment on the same thread and for a moment I think you are me:
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It’s always a good thing to decrease world suck! (I’m not surprised those two corners of the Internet overlap).
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I agree @jonquils. You did the right thing speaking up. I don’t think these threads add to the community and they reveal the worst of us. It’s fun to tear apart names because we get to bask in our utter self-righteousness with little repercussion. I say this as someone who’s not innocent of this behavior myself.
If there are constructive arguments to be made, that’s appropriate. But wholesale condemnation of perfectly usable names seems needlessly cruel. If someone whose name or whose child’s name were involved in these threads, the spiral of negative emotions that follow could severely damage one’s sense of self. I hate to think of a parent or child crashing into a wave of shame when they once felt pride in themselves.
Mods, could we please have some feedback on this issue? Also, I want to mention that we are deeply grateful for the invaluable service you provide our community.
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I 100% agree. @katinka, sorry for the tag, but what do you think? I’m curious to see if the staff have thought about this.
I’ve seen my own name described as ‘trailer trashy’, and I was like… Oh. I’m trying to love my name, and that didn’t help. (Not to mention, classist.)
I understand maybe we could have a thread on ‘unusable names’, names for constructive criticism that are offensive in particular cultures, but names that people just hate for no reason other than the fact that they exist… It brings out the worst in our lovely community.
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I agree! I find these threads unnecessary. Everyone has different naming style! You don’t know if there is someone who just used a name for their child, an 11 year old browsing nameberry who sees her name being bashed, etc. Another of these threads was just posted and I commented saying I didn’t like those threads, but I doubt anyone will take note of that lol. I swear there’s another thread like that once a week at least.
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We love buddy the elf We need all the positivity we can get
I posted on the names you hate thread about how sad the thread is, I feel mean and don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but I these threads just always end up upsetting someone and I feel like this isn’t what nameberry should be.
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My mom: Oh, that house is way too cutesy with that little fence!
Me: It is not! It’s like… [name_f]Elsie[/name_f]. No, [name_f]Elsie[/name_f] is an english cottage, this is an american farmhouse. Maybe… [name_f]Birdie[/name_f]. Between [name_f]Annie[/name_f] and [name_f]Birdie[/name_f].
ooh new thread idea: Names as houses
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EEEEEEEEEE WE ARE TOTALLY DOING THIS
as soon as I get the energy.
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I agree. I actually went and deleted a post I had on a “names you dislike” thread. Before I read other people’s posts, I thought it was a “names you don’t understand yet” type of thing. Then I realized it was people trash-talking (sorry, I couldn’t find a nicer way to put it) names!
Oh my goodness! [name_f]Stella[/name_f] is gorgeous btw. I’ve not seen something being described as “trailer trashy” or the likes but I know how rude some people can be (not saying anyone in particular, the majority of the NB community seems quite nice) and quite frankly, I’m sad that that showed up on here. I have heard people say, about my first name, “why do people name their kids this?” and like [name_f]Stella[/name_f] I’m trying to love my first name. The fact that people are hating on names because they just don’t like them…
Like here:
I actually flagged this post. I don’t understand! Yes, [name_f]Karen[/name_f] has been made into a less-than-nice meme and is now not considered “socially appropriate to name your child” in [name_u]America[/name_u]. But [name_u]Kyle[/name_u]? [name_m]Kevin[/name_m]? [name_f]Carole[/name_f] (don’t love this name, but it’s not "a name of nightmares!)? [name_m]Just[/name_m] because you don’t like them!
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Very much agreed. I think [name_f]Carole[/name_f] is because of [name_f]Carole[/name_f] Baskin? (because of [name_m]Tiger[/name_m] [name_m]King[/name_m] and that whole controversy). I’m not sure what [name_u]Kyle[/name_u] or [name_m]Kevin[/name_m] would reference.
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IDK. One of my grandmothers is named [name_f]Carole[/name_f] so I’ve grown up seeing and hearing the name [name_f]Carole[/name_f] whenever my parents talk about her. I’m not sure about [name_u]Kyle[/name_u] as well. [name_m]Kevin[/name_m], [name_m]Frank[/name_m], and [name_m]Bob[/name_m] have become “male stereotype names,” however.
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Thank you for doing this. I was going to say something, but my anxiety totally got the better of me.
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You’re welcome? [name_m]Don[/name_m]’t feel anxious! I feel bad, but I guess I’m used to doing stuff like this. I’ve been called “snitch” and “grammar police” all my life 
now I’m getting sad thinking about all the people who used to bully me because I tried to make the world a better place… I’m going to go to sleep.
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Definitely don’t feel bad! That whole thread is negative energy and you definitely made the right call.
My Starbucks barista was a bit of a berry today. She heard my top 10 name and I guess tried to rename me something similar but way less common lol
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On the “Names You Hate” type threads…
@kasatka @jonquils and anyone else who’s interested…
I can understand how seeing your favourite names crop up on these threads can be upsetting. I’ve definitely had a 
moment before when people list my kids’ names!
However, people must be able to express negative opinions on names just as much as positive ones. As long as they don’t use vulgar or culturally insensitive language, it is not for us to censor opinions.
A Nameberry where only positive thoughts about names can be shared may sound lovely, but it would quickly become boring, inauthentic and echo-chambery in practice.
I do think the general culture here (supported and reinforced by wonderful posters like you!) means that the name chat here is generally way more sensitive and less antagonistic than it can be on other forums. But people must be free to express themselves without moderator meddling, except when it is absolutely necessary.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] continue to flag any posts that break our guidelines on offensive/discriminatory language, but note that just expressing a negative opinion does not necessarily constitute “offensive” content. Here are the Community Guidelines for more info.
I hope that helps to clear things up!
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@katinka, I understand. I agree with you, and I really appreciate such a comprehensive response. 
However, when descriptions of names become, lets say, derrogetory and classist, that’s when I have issues. I don’t care if someone just says “I really hate the name ___”, but seeing names described as ‘trashy’ or ‘stripper-like’ as I’ve seen on the forums before, I think that those should be removed. Is it reasonable for us to flag those?
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Absolutely, if you ever see a post that you think uses genuinely offensive/derogatory language, flag it and one of the team will review it ASAP.
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