I’ve definitely had to face up to my own classism when looking into naming. As much as I love my vintage/classic choices, it reinforces a certain view of [name_f]English[/name_f] culture that isn’t necessarily inclusive and doesn’t match my more open worldview.
I’m at the point now where I can dislike a name, recognise that I dislike it and also recognise that part of the reason I dislike it is because of my own internalised classism. It’s a tricky thing to think about, because it makes me question the names I do like and use and what sort of message that is sending.
I think those threads have the potential to go into that - I know I was guilty of it when I first started on nameberry. I scrolled back to my earliest posts the other day and was very critical of names I viewed in that light.
Thank you, @katinka. I sincerely appreciate you looking into this. I should clarify that no one here has suggested that Nameberry should transform into an echo chamber of positivity, but we just question threads dedicated solely to ripping apart names? Surely this is different from individual comments critiquing a name once someone has asked for our feedback? Offensive comments can still be allowed, but we question a thread with that sole purpose? Although, you’re completely right that too much moderator influence would cramp the casual nature of this site.
I understand your position and I can assure you I’m not one who typically argues for censorship. However, ad hominem and “offensive” dance a fine line, so these threads can devolve easily which is why we question their purpose at all?
Ultimately, I’m fine with the result because I certainly believe in freedom of expression, yet I am also extremely impressed with @jonquils for daring to question a fixture of this site that she rightly identified as sowing boundless negativity.
Again, you rock for taking the time to address our concerns, @katinka!
Of course, I wasn’t suggesting that anyone had said that, apologies if it came across that way. I was just speaking rhetorically.
The problem is that banning “Names You Hate” threads in and of themselves has no basis in our community rules. To do so would be to go beyond our remit to ensure that posters maintain a sensitive, respectful tone even in disagreement, and towards more proactive policing of tone and content. It sounds like you agree with me that that is not where we want to go with this community.
On the whole, our members have proven time and again that they can be trusted to keep things kind and respectful, and the flag function and our ever-growing team of TL3 and TL4 members are there to help us address any issues that arise quickly and, hopefully, as fairly and transparently as possible.
And I don’t disagree with you there! I personally never post in those threads, but I hope you can see where I’m coming from in terms of the moderation perspective.
I think [name_m]Kevin[/name_m] and maybe [name_u]Kyle[/name_u] are used as the male equivalent to [name_f]Karen[/name_f] in its new usage to mean basically a bad person? Which I am so against because first off bullying people does not fix things and secondly it’s like an actual name that people have so who thought it’d be cool to make it into a slur basically? Anyway I don’t think those meanings will stick.
I personally never post in those threads, but I hope you can see where I’m coming from in terms of the moderation perspective.
