I grew up in a blended family. My mom had kids from a previous marriage and my siblings’ dad has always treated me like one of his own—going so far as to say that he he has 3 1/2 kids because “one’s rather short and technically not mine”. My dad’s culture dictates the name of your first son. The first name is the paternal grandfather and the middle name is the maternal grandfather. I never thought I’d follow these rules mostly because I never really cared for his name, but in the months since he passed away I’m reconsidering. The issue now is that my dad and my partner’s dad share the same name ([name_m]Robert[/name_m]), and I’m definitely not naming my son [name_m]Robert[/name_m] [name_m]Robert[/name_m]. What are your thoughts on [name_m]Robert[/name_m] “[name_u]Bobby[/name_u]” [name_m]Thomas[/name_m]? First name for my partners dad, nickname for my dad, middle name for my siblings’ dad. Is it too focused on my family? My partner’s dad goes by [name_m]Rob[/name_m] while mine went by [name_m]Bob[/name_m] (but [name_u]Bobby[/name_u] when he was little), and then [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] is my mom’s ex husband.
Another issue is that my partners family has its own tradition for eldest sons. They take the dad’s middle name to be the son’s first. If we did this his name would be [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] [name_u]Francis[/name_u]. [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] because it’s his middle name and [name_u]Francis[/name_u] because [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] and [name_u]Francis[/name_u] are our confirmation names. The trouble with this name is that I prefer the feminine version [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] [name_f]Frances[/name_f].
So what do you guys think?
[name_m]Robert[/name_m] [name_m]Robert[/name_m]
[name_m]Robert[/name_m] “[name_u]Bobby[/name_u]” [name_m]Thomas[/name_m]
[name_m]Robert[/name_m] “[name_m]Robb[/name_m]” [name_m]Thomas[/name_m]
[name_m]Joseph[/name_m] [name_u]Francis[/name_u]
…or something else?
Does your partner want to follow his family’s tradition? If not then [name_m]Robert[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] is nice, especially with the nn [name_u]Bobby[/name_u].
Equally, saving [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] [name_f]Frances[/name_f] for a potential girl may be for the best!
If it were me, I’d go with [name_m]Robert[/name_m] [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] or simply [name_u]Bobby[/name_u] [name_u]Francis[/name_u] or [name_u]Bobby[/name_u] [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] so he had more of his own name and it would mix the traditions
Alternatively, I’d even consider a twist on the names, so you could work in both name traditions?
[name_u]Robin[/name_u] [name_m]Joseph[/name_m]
[name_u]Robin[/name_u] [name_m]Josiah[/name_m]
[name_u]Bobby[/name_u] [name_m]Franklin[/name_m]
[name_m]Jonah[/name_m] [name_m]Robert[/name_m]
[name_u]Robin[/name_u] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m]
[name_m]Albert[/name_m] [name_m]Jonah[/name_m]
[name_m]Rupert[/name_m] [name_u]Jay[/name_u]
I like [name_m]Robert[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] and agree you might want to save [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] [name_f]Frances[/name_f] if you have a girl in future.
I also think you could take a look at other names outside of both family traditions, just to see if these names are the right ones for you.
First I would like to ask: are the three main combos ([name_m]Robert[/name_m] “[name_u]Bobbie[/name_u]” [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] [name_u]Francis[/name_u] and [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] [name_f]Frances[/name_f]) already agreed upon by you and your partner? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you love these names and this is a matter of simply what name comes first? I agree with @cactusgram that maybe you should take a break and relax while looking for non-family names. Maybe while searching for new names you and your partner will think “it’s a good name but it’s not [name_m]Robert[/name_m]/[name_m]Joseph[/name_m]/[name_f]Josephine[/name_f]”, and you will be able to rank your preferences.
I think it is lovely that you want to honor all your father figures! I don’t think [name_m]Robert[/name_m] “[name_u]Bobbie[/name_u]” [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] is too focused on your family. I am going to assume that your future children will have your husband’s surname? So when people who know your family meet little [name_m]Robert[/name_m] Surname they will assume it is honoring your father-in-law. I think is fair that the nickname is from your family side. And middles are not used that much. (I apologize if I made too many assumptions regarding your family’s naming choices).
I [name_u]LOVE[/name_u] [name_m]Robert[/name_m] “[name_u]Bobbie[/name_u]” [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] [name_u]Francis[/name_u] and [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] [name_f]Frances[/name_f]!!! Traditional and meaningful. If you want to leave decisions to me (:P), your future children would be named like this:
First kid - if a boy, [name_m]Robert[/name_m] “[name_u]Bobbie[/name_u]” [name_m]Thomas[/name_m], and if a girl, [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] [name_f]Frances[/name_f].
Second kid (if you intend to have one) - if first was [name_u]Bobbie[/name_u], a second would be [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] or [name_f]Josephine[/name_f]; but if the first child ended up a [name_f]Josephine[/name_f], a second would be [name_m]Robert[/name_m] or a new girl name.
And because I have time, here are some feminine versions of [name_m]Robert[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] and nickname possibilities for [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] and [name_f]Josephine[/name_f].
GIRLS: [name_f]Roberta[/name_f] and [name_u]Robin[/name_u] ([name_f]Roberta[/name_f] is such a strong name! [name_u]Love[/name_u] [name_f]Betty[/name_f] as a nn); [name_f]Tamsin[/name_f], [name_f]Thomasina[/name_f], [name_f]Thomasine[/name_f] or plain [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] (looks like a surname middle).
NICKNAMES: [name_u]Joey[/name_u] (love!.. for a girl); Zef and Zé for a boy and [name_u]Josie[/name_u], [name_f]Sophie[/name_f], [name_f]Posey[/name_f] for a girl (Appellation Mountain has more suggestions).
I really like the idea of [name_m]Robert[/name_m] “[name_u]Bobby[/name_u]” [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] and all its honours! I would definitely save [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] [name_f]Frances[/name_f] for a girl if I were you 
If I were you I would definitely save [name_f]Josephine[/name_f] [name_f]Frances[/name_f] for a potential girl. That is a gorgeous name!
[name_m]Robert[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] is classic and handsome and would probably be my choice in your position. Assuming your kids will take your partner’s last name, I wouldn’t worry too much about your son’s first and middle names having a focus on your side of the family.
Thank you @pindorama so much for all the suggestions! Zef is my favorite nickname for [name_m]Joseph[/name_m] especially since it’s another common family name and both of us have [name_m]Joe[/name_m]/Joey relatives. I also absolutely adore [name_f]Posy[/name_f]. We’ve only agreed on girls names so far and definitely won’t be getting pregnant any time soon but I think Zef and [name_f]Posy[/name_f] go really well with [name_f]Bea[/name_f] ([name_f]Beatrix[/name_f]), [name_f]Lady[/name_f] ([name_f]Adelaide[/name_f]), [name_f]Minnie[/name_f] ([name_f]Clementine[/name_f]), [name_f]Daisy[/name_f] ([name_f]Margaret[/name_f]) and [name_f]Winnie[/name_f] ([name_f]Winifred[/name_f]) which were absolutely in love with!