Hey everybody, We’d love your help with a name for our new son. We’re in the process of adopting him from [name]China[/name] and have been staring at a couple of cute little pictures and going round and round on names for the last month. We’re having such a hard time this time, maybe because he’s already four years old. There’s something different about naming a little boy than naming a brand new baby. Or maybe that’s not it. Maybe we just can’t agree.
Our other three are [name]Lucy[/name] (often [name]Lu[/name]/[name]Lulu[/name] but she doesn’t have an all-the-time nickname), [name]Henry[/name] (almost always goes by [name]Harry[/name]), and [name]August[/name] ([name]Gus[/name]). Here’s what we’re talking about:
[name]Walter[/name] ([name]Walt[/name]): My favorite. I had a great uncle [name]Walt[/name] whom I loved and I think [name]Harry[/name], [name]Walt[/name], and [name]Gus[/name] are a perfect fit for brothers (and their proper names work well together, too – [name]Henry[/name], [name]Walter[/name], and [name]August[/name]). My husband likes [name]Walt[/name] but isn’t such a fan of [name]Walter[/name]. He’s willing to concede but I want him to love his son’s name, too.
[name]Edward[/name] ([name]Ned[/name]) : [name]Edward[/name] is my husband’s grandfather’s name. A family name isn’t important because we’ll use a family name in the middle, but it’s nice. The problem here is the opposite of the problem with [name]Walt[/name]: he likes [name]Edward[/name] but not [name]Ned[/name]. Maybe [name]Teddy[/name]? Too much with [name]Lucy[/name] and [name]Harry[/name]? (This boy–I’ve got to stop calling him that–will fit in between [name]Harry[/name] and [name]Gus[/name] in age.)
[name]Barnaby[/name]: I’ve loved this one for a long time but we’ve never seriously considered it until now. Somehow he looks like a [name]Barnaby[/name] to us. He’s such a smiley, happy looking kid and [name]Barnaby[/name] feels like a fun, happy name to both of us. But we came close to deciding on it and started mentioning it to friends and family and got almost across the board negative reactions. We were surprised because we were thinking [name]Barnaby[/name] was so likable. We’re not too sure about [name]Barnaby[/name] now. We don’t want the poor boy to have to live with a name that causes almost universal smirking.
[name]Casper[/name] ([name]Cap[/name]): my sister’s suggestion, which we both kind of like. But it feels quite different from our usual style, I think.
We’d love to hear your thoughts on these names and alternate suggestions. Oh, and be honest; we can take it.
You probably shouldn’t rename a four year old. It’s almost like stealing his name. He’s lived with it for four years so it would be really confusing to just automatically have a new name.
I love [name]Edward[/name] nn [name]Teddy[/name]! Adorable on a little boy and handsome on a grown man. [name]Casper[/name] still brings to mind the ghost and [name]Barnaby[/name] sounds like a pet’s name (sorry!).
I think [name]Lucy[/name], [name]Harry[/name], [name]Gus[/name], and [name]Teddy[/name] sounds absolutely wonderful.
[name]Walter[/name] ([name]Walt[/name]) does seem to go perfectly well with your other kids’ names. But I think my vote would be for [name]Barnaby[/name]. It also goes fairly well with the other kids’ names and if you both really feel like that’s his name, maybe you should listen to your gut. [name]Barney[/name] is a cute nn, but I’m sure there are others if you don’t like that one. My only concern would be that it’s slightly different and since your new son is already different from your other kids (that’s a presumption that none of your other kids are Chinese – maybe it’s not true), so it may not be great to make him even more different. I’m not really sure. Part of me thinks go with your gut and the other part worries about him feeling too different.
Does he have an American name now? Some folks have posted on here before about adopting kids from over there (though I’m not certain it was [name]China[/name]) and some orphanages give kids American names that parents can incorporate as a middle or something so as not to change their name entirely. [name]Just[/name] a thought.
I love @spacecow1993 suggestion of letting him have a say in his American name. I was baptized when I was 8 (I know I’ve told you berries this before) and my mom let me choose my middle names from a list that she liked - mostly family names. She explained why she liked each but told me it was up to me. And it was. It really helped me fall in love with my name and names in general.
Also I like the suggestion of honoring his current chinese name. It could become a middle name or you could find an english name that has the same meaning. I don’t know what your heritage is and I’m just going to guess from your family name choices that it’s not Chinese. I think finding a way to integrate his heritage into his name and your lives would be a wonderful way to welcome him.
(My personal vote would be for [name]Walter[/name]).
Good [name]Luck[/name], I look forward to hearing what you decide to name him.
I agree with this 110%. I’ve never met an adult adoptee who was happy about their name change. [name]Every[/name] single one resented it deeply, and for good reason.
[name]China[/name] to my understanding wants the children adopted to Americans to be given an American name. International adoption is entirely different from domestic adoption.
I like [name]Edward[/name] and [name]Casper[/name].
But, I agree with what other people have said. [name]Even[/name] if his current name isn’t very usable in the US, try to honour it somehow, or find the nearest English equivalent. And definitely let him have input! [name]Don[/name]'t just have him arrive and tell him “From now on, your name is going to be____.” That would be very traumatic.
[name]Edward[/name] is really nice. [name]Casper[/name] is quite okay but I’m not so sure. [name]How[/name] about [name]Caspian[/name]? I think [name]Edward[/name] [name]Caspian[/name] sounds good.
I’d try to incorporate his existing name - or keep it in its entirety if possible. But if not, I like [name]Edward[/name] best from your list and think it is perfect with your other children’s names.
[name]Edmund[/name] or [name]Peter[/name] would also fit in a “The [name]Lion[/name], the Witch and the Wardrobe” sort of way!
