Our first daughter is [name]Maya[/name] [name]Nicole[/name] ([name]Nicole[/name] is after me). [name]Will[/name] our next daughter feel left out if she isn’t named after someone? We love the name [name]Julia[/name] [name]Rose[/name]. A lot. But she wouldn’t be named after anyone. But she would have a name that her parents LOVED :). Thoughts?
I can see arguments for both sides. The risk in starting any specific naming trend in your family, whether it’s giving a family name, alliteration/rhyming, or using names from the same culture is that if you don’t continue it, the kid(s) with a name that doesn’t line up may feel left out.
I think it’s not as big a concern as some make it out to be. In my family, I have the oddball uncommon name where my brothers both have top-ten (for their birth year) names. I was the third of three. I don’t remember ever feeling like an outsider or being jealous of their more well-known names, and to my knowledge they didn’t feel jealous of my more unique name. My name was my name, and I didn’t think much of it - of course, other than insisting on being called [name]Fern[/name], or [name]Bianca[/name], or [name]Wendy[/name], or whatever heroine from a movie I was currently obsessed with!
So I’m of the mind that loving the name is much more important than conforming to your naming trend, although that gets harder the more it’s ingrained. If you have six kids with J names, giving the 7th a D name really isn’t something I’d do to a kid. But having the first born named after her mother, then not giving the second a namesake… that’s really not a bad thing. The faster you break any trend, the better, says I. Think of how many parents name their firstborn son “Dad [name]Jr[/name].” There isn’t usually an expectation that the next son also have a namesake. This is no different, in my opinion
[name]Julia[/name] [name]Rose[/name] is lovely, I say go for it!
I appreciate your input yellow!
My brother is named after someone and my sister and I aren’t. I never gave it a moment’s thought. Like you said, I was pleased to have a name that my parents thought sounded lovely. I wouldn’t hesitate to go with [name]Julia[/name] [name]Rose[/name].
No I don’t think she needs to be named after anyone. Choose the name you love.
I also don’t think there is any harm in someday telling her a story like, ‘daddy saw you in the nursery and he thought you were as pretty/sweet as a [name]Rose[/name], so we named your middle name “rose”’.
Something like this. This would make her feel just as special as if her middle name was after someone.
No! She’ll have a name that her parents both love, which to me is just as important as picking a family name. I, personally, wouldn’t feel left out at all. [name]Julia[/name] [name]Rose[/name] is gorgeous!
Thanks everyone! I appreciate your replies! (And I appreciate even more that you’re telling us what we want to hear
[name]Michelle[/name]–I think I’ll take your advice on using the story about rose!
No, I don’t think it is a huge deal - both of my siblings have family names and neither my first nor middle name is a family name. It’s a little weird, but not bad.
I love [name]Julia[/name] [name]Rose[/name], by the way! Could you perhaps be honoring someone or something by using [name]Rose[/name]? The rose is often used as a symbol of the Virgin [name]Mary[/name], so if you’ve got a [name]Mary[/name] to honor, [name]Rose[/name] will do it. The rose is the national flower of both [name]England[/name] and the United States, and it is the state flower of Iowa, [name]North[/name] [name]Dakota[/name], [name]Georgia[/name], and New [name]York[/name] - got any connections to those places? Plus, [name]Portland[/name], Oregon is known as the “City of Roses.” And, finally, the rose is the [name]June[/name] birth flower…
We had the same dilemma with our second daughter. DD#1 has a middle name honoring her 2 aunts (my sisters). For DD#2, my husband wanted her middle name to be [name]Lynn[/name], which is my middle name. He thought someday DD#2 would be sad about not having a more “meaningful” name. So I agreed. And I hated it. I have never liked the name [name]Lynn[/name] very much, and it just didn’t sit well. It didn’t sound bad with DDs name, but I would have never picked it. When my daughter was 2 weeks old, we changed her middle name. It feels SO much better, I wish I would have just done that from the beginning. My husband is much happier with the change, too. I don’t feel guilty or bad about it, and I don’t think my daughter will ever feel left out. In fact, I think she will like her “new” name much more.
I have two sisters, my older sister and I have middle names that my parents just happened to like. My younger sister shares the same middle name as my mom’s middle name, so it is a family name. My older sister and I have never felt “less special” that we weren’t named after someone, too.
My whole point is that you should definitely pick a name that you love, and it doesn’t have to be a family name. [name]Trust[/name] me, it will feel better, you will love the name more, and I am certain your daughter will love her name. After all, you have spent a lot of time, thought and love picking out her name!