[name_f]Do[/name_f] you choose names or avoid names because of nickname options?
[name_f]My[/name_f] husband and I both have shorter names. We wanted to give our children longer names so that they had the option for nicknames if they wanted to and they still had the option to use their full name.
We named our son [name_m]Sullivan[/name_m] and 90% of the time we call him [name_m]Sullivan[/name_m]. Occasionally people will call him [name_m]Sully[/name_m] when they first met him even after introducing him as [name_m]Sullivan[/name_m]. I never considered this when naming him! I knew we could use nicknames for him or not. But I never thought about other people automatically using a nickname for him even when introduced differently!
Has this happened to anyone else? Either you personally or your kids? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you correct them or just go with the nickname? I imagine heāll have his own opinion as he gets older, but for now itās a strange situation!
People do it often and the other way too. I know a [name_f]Meg[/name_f] sometimes called [name_f]Megan[/name_f] (not her name). I wouldnāt pick a name with a nickname I hated.
Was your intention that [name_m]Sullivan[/name_m] would eventually introduce himself by a nickname instead of other people giving him one?
I always introduce myself with my full name and people will use nicknames unprompted. I usually donāt mind, but thereās one nickname I donāt really like and Iāll correct people.
I might avoid a name if it had a popular nickname I didnāt like
If a name has an intuitive or āgo toā nickname, I think I would need to like it - or at least not mind it - in order to use the name.
Iām a [name_f]Grace[/name_f] who gets āGracieā (not a bad name, but itās not me) and I what I do depends on the situation to be honest. Sometimes, it feels like it comes from a good and harmless place and I just leave it be - or I might just know the person isnāt going to be in my life long enough to enforce or bother with a correction.
However, if itās someone Iām not close to but would still be seeing often, I enforce [name_f]Grace[/name_f]. It doesnāt happen so often anymore, but I did have a few teachers who tried it and that was a no.
As an Australian a nickname is unavoidable so I always make sure I like the obvious ones before settling on my kids names. I always introduce my kids by their full names but quickly say you can call them by their nickname everyone else does. I donāt enforce the full names because itās Australia no one ever gets their full name! If you enforce your full name here weāll youāre more likely to not get that anyway! I personally only ever introduce myself by my nickname too in social settings, I use my full name professionally, I just feel it makes me more approachable. Itās maybe a cultural thing here. So yes, I definitely make sure I like the nickname options for my kids names!
[name_f]My[/name_f] husband is [name_m]David[/name_m] & people will often shorten it to [name_m]Dave[/name_m]. Much like @Greyblue whether or not he corrects them varies based on the context.
I think itās absolutely fine to politely correct people if they use a nickname. [name_m]Just[/name_m] a simple āwe prefer to call him Sullivanā. I actually think itās really important for your son to see you make that correction while heās little, because itās teaching him to be able to make that correction himself as he gets older.
Weāve never avoided or favourited a name based on nickname potential. We do love nicknames though, and have found mutually agreeable nicknames for all our favourite names.
I think itās rude of people to assume a nickname, whether for adults or children. Nicknames are a term of endearment and I think itās a bit upfront to assume you a close enough to use someoneās nickname, if they havenāt offered. For children, I would always use their full name unless their parents suggested / said otherwise. I once called a little girl [name_f]Lizzy[/name_f] and her mother promptly told me her name was āElizabeth!ā - that really stuck with me, so Iām very aware of it now.
We plan to include acceptable nickname options in our birth announcement, so people know what is acceptable from the get go.
Iām of the opinion that in order to use a name with default nicknames, you have to be at least neutral on them, as thereās always a chance your kid will come home from school answering to one of them. Iām a ways away from having kids, but my list is influenced by liking nickname options too. I would avoid a name where I didnāt like the nicknames.
Context is king here. Is it older kids calling him [name_m]Sully[/name_m], like a 3 year old at story time? Iād just go with it. If it is adults, how are they using it? Are they introducing him to other kids as [name_m]Sully[/name_m]? In that case Iād correct it. [name_m]Or[/name_m] is is more using Sull in addition to [name_m]Sullivan[/name_m], as the shortening sometimes flows better in a sentence or for getting his attention? As thatās different honestly, and to me feels more like a contraction, similar to how Iād contract I would to Iād. Like with my friend [name_f]Eliana[/name_f], I would introduce her as [name_f]Eliana[/name_f] and in my head sheās [name_f]Eliana[/name_f], but if Iām talking to her sometimes I shorten her name to [name_f]El[/name_f] or [name_f]Ellie[/name_f].
Yes, I definitely take nicknames in consideration. I also love long names and Iām usually crazy about names with multiple nicknames. If I didnāt like the main, most intuitive nicknames, I would probably avoid that choice or select a nickname from the start.
It happens to me! [name_f]My[/name_f] parents never liked the most common nickname associated with my name. They always used other alternatives. However, I always had friends and colleagues calling me by that nickname. It actually became even more frequent now as an adult because I work with dozens of people, and I share my first name with another colleague (we both work in the same team). It doesnāt bother me at all, and it doesnāt bother my parents because they never hear it! I never correct anyone. Iām totally okay with that nickname. But for future parents, I believe the nickname possibilities are definitely something to consider.
From my experience, some people absolutely love nicknames, and they always try to find one for everyone that they make contact with
I also have a cousin who hates their very popular, intuitive nickname. Unfortunately, everyone outside the family insisted on calling them by their nickname (friends, teachers, strangers, colleagues, neighbors) while they were growing up. [name_f]My[/name_f] cousin always explained that they didnāt go by any nickname, but sometimes it was quite difficult for some people to accept and respectā¦ Nowadays, my cousin still corrects everyone new in their life that tries to use the infamous nickname. However, sometimes, my cousin is so tired of correcting everybody that they just accept or ignore the nickname.
Another cousin of mine has a very long first name, which nickname is not as common, and I also believe it is considered a little bit dated. They always escaped that nickname! At least, as far as I know.
Everyoneās experience is different and all alternatives may occur.
In your situation, I believe you can always explain that you call him [name_m]Sullivan[/name_m] or that you donāt want him to go by that nickname. If it doesnāt bother you that some people call him [name_m]Sully[/name_m], thatās fine too. [name_m]Just[/name_m] let it be. Your son will certainly have a position about it when he grows up!
@Poffin Our intention was that he would have nickname options and then kind of go with whatever option felt right! We were leaving it open really, but we ended up just calling him [name_m]Sullivan[/name_m] as a baby so itās what we introduce him as now. But long term, yes. We thought that he could figure out what he liked best whether that was his full name or a nickname and then introduce himself as that when heās old enough. So itās just thrown me off that other people automatically assume a nickname!
@Greyblue Thank you this is a very well thought out answer! We always assumed we would let [name_m]Sullivan[/name_m] choose what he wanted to go by when heās old enough. Heās not at that age yet, so itās been interesting to us that people just automatically assume nicknames for him. I guess the same could be true for a [name_m]Benjamin[/name_m] being called [name_m]Ben[/name_m] or [name_f]Allison[/name_f] being called [name_f]Allie[/name_f] just because people often go by those nicknames. Itās strange to me people assume nicknames without asking someone āis this what you want to be called?ā
@Frostivich I never knew Australia was so heavily into nicknames! Thatās neat actually. I bet that plays a big role in naming kids when you have to consider any nickname options.
@Sadie307 I really like your point about it being important for him to see us correcting others. That absolutely would be a good model of how to correct people when heās older whether he wants to go by a nickname or not. Thank you!
@_thelittlefairywren I agree! I always call people what they introduce themselves as. So if they introduce themselves as a full name thatās what I would use. Iām not sure if itās because the kids are young so they want to have ācutsieā names to call them or what. But itās definitely thrown me off that people will say āoh hi Sullyā or āoh you guys must call him [name_m]Sully[/name_m] then?ā after introducing him as [name_m]Sullivan[/name_m]. Thatās smart about the birth announcement! Iāve never considered that with nicknames but I really like the idea.
@kmdharrington I agree about having to at least like the nicknames! If you liked [name_f]Abigail[/name_f] but not [name_f]Abby[/name_f] that would be difficult to use because they might chose to go by [name_f]Abby[/name_f] at some point. Your last part makes a lot of sense as well. For us, itās more so been introducing him to other people and 50% of the time people saying āoh so you call him Sully?ā or āoh hi Sullyā when weāve introduced him as [name_m]Sullivan[/name_m]. Sometimes itās other adults referring to him as [name_m]Sully[/name_m] in class settings. But the kids are little still so they donāt really say his name yet. But I definitely agree with your reasoning here. Itās different if itās getting their attention vs an adult using it over and over. Itās not that we donāt like the nickname [name_m]Sully[/name_m], weāre just thrown off by why everyone assumes he only goes by a nickname.
@Estrela Yes! Weāre the same way. A lot of names on our list are longer names and have at least one nickname option. I definitely agree that some people are just super into nicknames! [name_m]Even[/name_m] with names that are already super short which I find funny. I have a friend named [name_f]Brenna[/name_f] which I consider a shorter name and they always call her B. Itās so interesting how people in your family have responded to it differently. With your last paragraph, thatās basically what we do now. We donāt mind the nickname [name_m]Sully[/name_m]. We thought we might just refer to him as that. But weāve been saying mostly only [name_m]Sullivan[/name_m] when he was a baby so now we mostly use that. He tends to respond to [name_m]Sullivan[/name_m] and not always [name_m]Sully[/name_m]. So we donāt correct people if they call him that because weāre not against it as a nickname. It just doesnāt feel as āhimā as sullivan does. But we want him to choose whatever he wants to go by when heās older, not just go by a nickname because everyone else chose to call him that!
Depending on how much I dislike a nickname I may steer clear just because of the possibility of my child choosing to go by it later in life.
I have a long and extremely uncommon name that people have attempted to shorten my entire life. [name_f]My[/name_f] parents did correct people when I was growing up. Their thought process was āif we wanted to name her x, we wouldāve named her x instead of yā. I would correct people as well if anyone tries that with my future childrenās names and we donāt use a nickname (or use a different one). Now as an adult, people typically ask me if I go by a nickname and I say no.
I only have one nickname so like you when I have kids I love the idea of giving them a longer name with multiple nickname options
That said when it comes to nicknames I think if you want a certain nickname or you donāt want him to go by a nickname at all, you have to almost make it a point when your kid is born because people do tend to automatically call them by the most common nickname for said name
For example a name I love is [name_f]Magnolia[/name_f]. And ideally if I used this name I would have her nickname be [name_f]Nola[/name_f] or [name_f]Nolie[/name_f] because Iām not nuts on [name_f]Mags[/name_f] or [name_f]Maggie[/name_f]. But I know if I were to use it then my kid would probably still be called [name_f]Mags[/name_f] or [name_f]Maggie[/name_f] no matter how much I dislike it because theyāre the automatic default nickname for [name_f]Magnolia[/name_f]
Still if you make it a point I think people will learn to stop. [name_m]Even[/name_m] just always saying [name_m]Sullivan[/name_m] after someone calls him [name_m]Sully[/name_m], itāll eventually slip in that they shouldnāt be calling him [name_m]Sully[/name_m]. I know a girl with a son named [name_m]Wesley[/name_m] and she hates him being called [name_m]Wes[/name_m]. She told me how when people call him [name_m]Wes[/name_m] she would just follow with a sentence like āWesley loves playing outsideā and after continually doing that most people stopped calling him [name_m]Wes[/name_m]
