So I know people are split on calling children by their middle name, but however you feel about it, we all know it’s fairly common. Lots of Jrs go by a middle, lots of Catholic [name_f]Marys[/name_f], etc.
I’m wondering how weird it would be to call a child by a nickname of their middle name?
Not pregnant, but considering using the full name of a deceased family member for a future baby. [name_f]Imagine[/name_f] something like:
[name_u]John[/name_u] [name_u]William[/name_u], called [name_u]Will[/name_u]
Is that too much of a stretch? [name_u]Or[/name_u] does it make sense in the honoring context?
I’m personally not a fan of it - I feel like going by a middle name is already confusing enough, and going by a nickname of the middle name will just add even more confusion to the mix. I’d much prefer William John “Will”, or if John had to be the first name, then John Will.
It does make sense in the honouring context, but I feel like honouring a relative by using their name would be just as meaningful if you just flipped the first and middle name around, so that the name you’ll actually call them will be in the first name spot.
I think it works as long as you’re consistent with it. My grandfather went by a nickname of his middle name and only used his legal first name for official purposes, so I’ve seen it in action
I go by a nickname from my middle name! In my experience it hasn’t been a huge deal - more like a little factoid about my name that I’ll tell new acquaintances. No one has been particularly confused by it.
I’m not a big fan of it but it can work. I grew up with two girls who both had the middle name [name_f]Nicole[/name_f] and went by [name_u]Nikki[/name_u], rather than their first names. I secretly found it strange but that’s just how it was. It did make for some funny and confusing moments whenever their real names came about (graduation, weddings, documents, etc).
[name_f]My[/name_f] father-in-law goes by a nickname of his middle, and has since birth. He signs his name as first initial, full middle, last name, e.g. M. [name_m]Andrew[/name_m] [name_m]Jones[/name_m]. It’s never been a problem.
It’s not that much of a stretch. I can provide context in two different situations:
One, my brother is named [name_u]Robert[/name_u] [name_u]Tyler[/name_u]. [name_u]Robert[/name_u] is after my dad, but he’s always been called [name_u]Tyler[/name_u]. That’s his name, even though it’s his middle. And we frequently call him [name_m]Ty[/name_m], a nickname of his middle.
Two, my kids are [name_u]Rory[/name_u] [name_m]Donald[/name_m] and [name_f]Annie[/name_f] [name_u]Marion[/name_u], or [name_u]Rory[/name_u] and [name_f]Annie[/name_f]. But my husband frequently calls them [name_m]Donny[/name_m] and [name_u]Marion[/name_u] as special nicknames, though these were not preplanned intentions. They know those are their middles (or in Rory’s case, a nickname of his middle) and not really their “names”, so to speak, but they answer to them if it’s Dad using them.
I like to simplify the child’s name life as much as possible while also maintaining the honor name as much as possible, so I’m not a fan. BUT, I’m in the [name_u]South[/name_u] US where we see it all the time. IRL examples in my hometown in the last few years-
It’s something I personally wouldn’t do, but I also really see the appeal of it as an honor name. I know tons of people like this. Actually I once had a student named First Middle [name_u]Dakota[/name_u] Last, and he went by [name_u]Cody[/name_u]. So not even the nickname of his first middle, but of his second middle! Nobody ever questioned it (except for weirdo me who likes names and couldn’t figure out where the [name_u]Cody[/name_u] came from since our system wasn’t equipped to show a second middle).
Both of my grandfathers grew up going by nicknames of their middle name. [name_f]My[/name_f] dad goes by a nickname that isn’t anything close to his given name. (And I have heard my Granny get stern with him and call him a full first middle last that is not his name at all. Some kind of family joke from childhood. His nickname is from that fake full name.)
@notcinnamon Thank you for this full list!! Everyone’s personal examples are so helpful. Like you, I usually prefer to simplify the name as much as possible, so I don’t know if I’d actually go for it. But for complicated reasons, I wouldn’t be comfortable switching the order of the two names, so this was my next thought. We’ll see!
I don’t think it’s that weird, but I do have multiple relatives who do this. Although I wouldn’t do it myself, it’s not something I find strange and I understand why people do. I think it especially makes sense in the “honoring context,” so I’d say go for it
I knew a kid who went by [name_u]Tony[/name_u] because his middle name is [name_m]Anthony[/name_m], and I don’t remember anyone giving him much trouble about it. Teachers would give him a funny look when they called attendance and he said he went by [name_u]Tony[/name_u] (his first name is something like [name_u]Robert[/name_u], a name with many other established nicknames so that was part of the confusion) but once he explained, everyone moved on.
Personally, I really don’t understand the mentality of using a name I dislike just for the sake of honoring. I don’t want to honor anyway, and part of that is because I don’t like the names of people I want to honor, and I don’t want to give my kid a name I don’t like. I just can’t wrap my head around why someone wouldn’t just use the middle name as a first name because it still honors (and as a bonus, the kid could feel like they actually had their own name).
TL;DR Is it a stretch? Not an unusable one. Does it make sense to me? Not at all.
Not too much of a stretch at all. [name_u]Truly[/name_u] you can do whatever you want. And as far as names go this is not unreasonable as it is a form of their actual name. And its not like you are using a totally made up name or something very contrived. [name_f]My[/name_f] sister has only gone by her middle name her whole life. I have only gone by a nickname of my formal name since birth (similar to how [name_f]Beth[/name_f] would be from Elizabeth). [name_u]John[/name_u] [name_u]William[/name_u] is a lovely name and [name_u]Will[/name_u] is certainly a legitimate variation of that. Anything similar would be fine to use
Not at all too much a stretch. I’ve met many people who go by nicknames for their middles. But I don’t see why someone would feel they want to pick a name, then call the child a nickname for their middle… just name them what you want and like to call them, I’d say!
I don’t think I’d want to do it personally, I do think people can easily go by their middle names, but a nickname of the middle name is a little different. That said, I do know people who go by nicknames of their middle and haven’t had any problems beyond the initial, “I actually go by X”. I think part of it would depend on how “obvious” a nickname it is, for example [name_u]William[/name_u] nn [name_u]Will[/name_u] is obvious and a common nn, but [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] nn [name_f]Ginny[/name_f] is not and I think would be more difficult to go by.
I say go for it