[name_m]Hi[/name_m] all!
[name_m]Just[/name_m] wondering what you think of not giving your child a middle name? Me and DH can’t agree on one we like for our first name choices that also go with our surname so we’re considering just leaving our DD with just a first name and perhaps letting her choose her own middle name when she is older.
What do you think? Would welcome your thoughts. Cheers 
It’s a neat idea to let her choose her own middle name someday, but I don’t think I would just leave it blank until then. As strange as this sounds, I encourage you to choose a “filler” middle name, so there’s still something there but it’s not really anything super important and set in stone. Something like [name_u]Lynn[/name_u], [name_f]Rose[/name_f], [name_f]Grace[/name_f], [name_f]Anne[/name_f], [name_f]Marie[/name_f]… Then, when your darling gets to be a certain age, you can help her pick out a new middle if she wants.
You know, when I clicked this thread (before I read), I was going to suggest “let her choose her own middle name” myself. I think it is a great idea. I’ll say just put her first and last name on the certificate. Maybe you’ll come up with some ideas latter, you can suggest it to her and let her decide when she is older.
This happened to me. Officially, I do not have a middle name. My dad chose my first name and that was it. My mom chose my “unofficial” middle name when I was… toddler, I guess. That is what I always use and because I like my mom’s choice, I know I’ll add it legally someday. My name, my decision. I think this is a great idea.
If you and your husband can’t agree on anything, just leave it blank. I don’t see a problem with that. Or you could use your surname in the middle, assuming she’ll have your husband’s surname.
In general, I’m against the no middle name thing. I’ve grown up hating my first name, and hating my middle name. I would have loved to have been able to go by my middle, but I hate my middle more than my first (which, granted, I’ve come to quite like). I am absolutely for middle names, but if you can’t agree on one, no matter how hard you look, maybe it is for the better to leave it blank and let her choose it when she’s old enough. 
I would leave it blank.
I sort of appreciate the whole name-minimalistic thing. The idea of having a single no-fuss identity, and I see the logic in ‘‘if you’re going to only ever call her [name_f]Lizzie[/name_f], why use [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] [name_f]Amelie[/name_f] [name_f]Beatrice[/name_f]?’’ which is also why I’m fully in favour of ‘nicknamey’ names.
To me, the middle spot is for honouring, family/friends/culture, just an idea of where you come from (which is important to me with naming in general, though). If you don’t agree with this which I know many don’t, and you can’t find a name you love just as much as the first name, then why bother?
I think that the expectation of her choosing her own name is probably not a healthy one, but if she happens to find a name she desperately loves and feels connected to at any point, it’s nice she’s got a blank canvas for it.
My thoughts exactly. As a name nerd, I would have to hold back every part of me to keep the middle spot blank.
As someone else also said, I use the middle name spot for honoring. You could consider that. If you worry less about the sound of the name and more about the significance, you may be able to come to a decision. Looking at if from a different perspective.
But, you definitely don’t have to give her a middle name. My grandmother had no middle name and she got along just fine without it. She had a pretty long foreign last name, so she may have been better off without it actually. Her mother, ironically, had two middle names. I wonder if that played into her decision not to bestow one on her daughter?
If you really can’t decide, or don’t want to choose, I would just leave it blank of the birth certificate. What’s the point in having a filler? I mean, maybe if you have a really common last name and the first name you picked is also common, you might want something in there to differentiate her from another “[name_f]Emma[/name_f] [name_m]Smith[/name_m]” or whatever, but I doubt that’s the case here. Like you said, if she wants one she can always choose one for herself later.
I definitely think everyone should have a middle name, and almost everyone I know who doesn’t wishes they did. But I like the idea of letting her pick her own, as long as you’re willing to help with/do the paperwork for her! That seems to play a big factor in people not adding one. I’ve wanted for years to drop my Chinese name which is technically a second middle, but which never gets used because I don’t like it (I do use my [first] middle for most formal/official/professional things, or at least the initial.), but haven’t because it seems like a lot of hassle.
I haven’t got one, and I honestly don’t mind. Legally it’s my dad’s first name because that’s the way they do it in [name_u]Egypt[/name_u], where I was born, but my parents don’t really consider it a middle name. I like it this way. I’m just [name_f]Janna[/name_f]. I’d prefer that to being [name_f]Janna[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f] or something. My personal experience…
I think it’s just fine. My grandfather doesn’t have a middle name, and in Spain, middle names just don’t exist (some people have second first names, but it’s not quite the same thing). I don’t think it’s a big deal to not have a middle name. Letting her choose one when she gets older would be really neat and special!
None of my sisters-in-law have middle names. Their parents’ logic was that their last name would someday become their middle name when they got married. You could always use that!
I don’t think it’s a big deal not to have a middle name. I have a couple of friends who were not given middle names when they were born and they don’t mind! One took her maiden name as her middle when she married and didn’t feel like she had to “drop” her given middle to do so. Another took her confirmation name as her middle name (which meant she got to choose her middle, if from a somewhat limited list of saints’ names).
We almost gave our second daughter no middle, since her name sounded great as a stand-alone, she’d be called by that one, and no honor was necessary.
In the end we attached a middle name that hubby loved, just because he loves it so much.
I love having a middle name. I go by my first name, but my middle is a name I like more. I like being able to write my full name on forms, it makes me feel fancy (because my last name and first name are not boring or common, but after a while they feel plain, and my middle name - even though it’s [name_f]Jane[/name_f] - makes me feel special). I have a friend with no middle name, and she wishes she had a middle name.
Why don’t you use your middle name as her middle name? That would be sweet! My middle name is my Mom’s mn, cousin’s mn, grandmother’s MN, and great, great grandmother’s FN. I think it’s pretty special!
I’m a teenager, and I wouldn’t want to pick my own middle. I don’t think I’d be able to pick, and maybe my confidence isn’t great, but I’d probably just go with whatever my parents liked. Like, if I had to pick a new middle, I would have no clue what to pick. I would be scared to pick something in case I later regretted it. I would probably go with a family name, or something similar in naming style to my names. Actually, I’d probably take my other grandmother’s mn ([name_f]Elaine[/name_f]), and change it to [name_f]Eliza[/name_f]. Ya, that’s what I would do. So why not make everyone’s life easier and just give her a family name?
I think most people (esp teens) would enjoy the chance to choose their own. But I think it depends on where you live. Here you can’t just fill in a blank space on your birth certificate! It is all the same hassle and price (about $600) as a name change. It is the exact same process. [name_m]New[/name_m] SS card, new drivers license, etc.
Another thought is you might want to wait for godparents to choose a “baptismal name” if that is your faith. Also, if he/she converts Orthodoxy I believe the convert is required to choose a saint’s name as their “religious” name and will be referred to that in the Church. In those instances an open space could be mighty handy!
In the U.S. it depends on whether or not your state recognizes “common law” name changes - which basically says you can assume any name through usage over a period of time as long as you’re not defrauding others. With increased fears of identity theft, etc. in recent years such types of name changes tend to raise more suspicion (in the 1990s and before this was a quite reasonable way to go if you weren’t overly concerned about being able to change all your documents, since some parties are free not to recognize the new name), but for something like adding a middle name (where clearly there is no threat of malicious behavior, and in most cases the presence or absence of a middle name does not affect the validity of documents) you may still be able to do it that way. (Often times if you were to assume a different first and/or last name with the “common law” method for non-illegal purposes, including going by your middle name on documents, that gets recognized as a legal “alias” rather than a full-fledged name change.) In most cases you wouldn’t get an amended birth certificate (after a certain time after birth you typically need a court order to do that), but you’d have to produce a paper trail showing your assumed name.
As for the cost of going to court, it varies greatly between states and in some cases even counties - where I live it would run about $200 when you also figure in the legal notice you have to post (in most places, unless you have a reason to protect your privacy, you have to post an ad in a newspaper or in some other public place announcing the name change).
One way you’ll have less issues than most people who change their name is you typically wouldn’t have a “former name” to put down for record-checking purposes since all the names you’ve used are already listed (even in a case like The Member Who I Shall Not Name’s when she turned her original first name into another middle name, her case is essentially like someone who went by their middle name before said point).
My husband has no middle name, but he did choose a Hebrew name at some point which he no longer uses as he isn’t religious. Having no middle has worked out just fine for him.
I think it’s great to go the route of no middle name instead of forcing yourselves to settle for something you don’t really love.
Letting them pick one day is a nice idea, but when? I would kind of hate if I ended up with what I would’ve chosen at 16, probably a Tryndeigh disaster!
Using an honor name or mom’s maiden name could work if you feel you should use something.
But what will you call her when she is in really big trouble? (just kidding)
Personally I love middle names, they are a great place to honor a family member and give the child an other option to use if they don’t feel like their first name suits them. That said–you have to give your daughter the name you think she is suppose to have, HER NAME, not just some name you like or some name that follows naming convention. If you don’t think she has a middle name don’t give her one. It would be much better to leave it blank than fill it in with something that isn’t quite right.
One thing you could do is to put in a family surname, and then let her add another name if she wants. Middle names don’t have to be able to be first names, so that would work fine. I also like the suggestion of a filler middle.