[name_f]My[/name_f] daughter is nearly four weeks old. We had lists upon lists that we narrowed down, and then went in to delivery with a small handful of favorites for each sex. She was born in the middle of the night, and after we slept on it, her name practically chose itself.
[name_u]Ever[/name_u] since, I’ve had difficulty calling her by her name. She has been “the baby” or simply “her” the vast majority of the time. I still love her name, but have difficulty connecting it to her. I’ve been making a conscious effort to call her by name to get used to it, but it still feels awkward and forced.
Is this typical? Did you have a similar experience, or did your child seem to ‘own’ his or her name from the start?
[name_f]My[/name_f] son’s name did not feel right or like it was his until he started saying it himself. I felt like he really looked like a [name_m]Silas[/name_m], which is his middle name, but not like a [name_m]Levin[/name_m] (his first name) at all. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband and I even considered calling him by his middle, but we couldn’t do it (for reasons too complicated to get into here.)
Anyhow, once he started saying his own name, it really became his. That didn’t happen until maybe 22 months? He was almost two before he started saying it. Sometimes I call him [name_m]Silas[/name_m] or by his first + middle name together and he won’t respond to this at all and always says, “No! I [name_m]Levin[/name_m]!” If I do this now, he calls me Mommy [name_m]Silas[/name_m].
Anyhow, yeah, it took a long time for his name to be his, but it is definitely his now and he loves it.
[name_f]My[/name_f] son’s name definitely felt wrong and disconnected for a while. It was perfect for the first few days, then I had a huge blow up about how we “named him [name_m]John[/name_m]” and that it’s so popular. We had this great chance and a great name chosen and we decided on a variation of [name_m]John[/name_m], even though it’s a great name and we agreed that he feels like an [name_m]Ivan[/name_m]. I was trying to convince SO to rename him [name_m]Colin[/name_m]. He’s absolutely not a [name_m]Colin[/name_m] and I’m so happy that SO didn’t go along with that. I love his name on him, and he really does own it. I think it was just hormones and fear of making a mistake with such an important decision. Also, as he grew and developed more of a personality, it became easier to connect him to his name.
You are def still hormonal. The names sometimes take a while but give it a little more time & it will start to feel right. If its been a few months and you are unhappy with the name then you might consider changing it. But if baby is only 4 weeks you should give it more of a chance to grow on you.
[name_m]Say[/name_m] it all the time, that should help.
I can totally relate. The same thing happened when my daughter was about 4 months old. I realized I never called her by her name. It was always a nickname. I didn’t think her name suited her and contemplated re-naming her. I even went so far as to call her by another name for a couple days. I never did and I’m so happy I didn’t. She totally fits her name now. [name_m]Even[/name_m] though she still has a bazillion nicknames, I really can’t imagine her as anything else.
Maybe play around with some different names. That’s why I didn’t end up changing her name. [name_m]Even[/name_m] though I didn’t think her name fit her, the other name I called her, didn’t really either.
I have given birth to four children and fostered a couple newborns and they’ve always just seemed like “[name_u]Baby[/name_u]” to me. Saying their name seems awkward at first so I’ve always had to make a conscious effort to use their names. It’s not the name, it’s not you, it’s the fresh, new-to-the-world baby. They don’t seem to suit any name, they have to grow into it.
I 100% anticipate this happening to me. I think it’s typical, and I’ve noticed many parents calling their newborns “the baby”. Four weeks is still very new, I wouldn’t worry if I were you [name_m]Just[/name_m] slowly integrate it, and I’m sure you’ll come around in time.
I never called my daughter by her name when she was an infant. She was [name_f]Honey[/name_f] Baloo & all sorts of silly stuff. Sometimes she was [name_m]Lenny[/name_m], which is a somewhat intuitive nn for her name. I think it happens like that when you pick a strong adult name for your child, it just doesn’t feel baby enough. Maybe if I had picked something softer & more babyish?
Oh dear, don’t worry about it. We thought for months that we had made the wrong decision. We picked a very obviously strong masculine name, that just did not seem to fit the teeny baby in our arms. Everyone else is right - it takes a while, but they do grow into it. Sometimes I feel that another name might have suited him better, but we wouldn’t change it for the world.
I definitely didn’t feel this way - I was very apprehensive about the name we chose but it seemed to fit her right from birth, however:
She did get called “baby” most of the time for like 6 months. I think that’s because “the baby” was her “name” for 9 months, so it took a while to adjust to that change!
I agree with this 100%. I picked out both of my children’s names well before birth and spent a great deal of time fantasizing about exactly who ‘[name_u]Antoine[/name_u]’ and ‘[name_f]Cassia[/name_f]’ would be. When the little raw pink bundle of newness arrives, it’s difficult to connect such an undifferentiated little person to the child you dreamed of. Newborns just don’t have that much personality yet-- sure, some are fussier than others, some better sleepers, etc. But none of them make eye contact, coo, or do anything else particularly human for a while. And as such it’s difficult for me to call them by something as measurably human as a name. It is easier to say “the baby” or “little one” rather than a name. By the cooing/eye contact/ personality-formation stage that will arrive in another couple of months, see if you still feel the same way.
[name_m]Just[/name_m] slowly integrate it, and I’m sure you’ll come around in time.