First off I wanna preface this post by saying I feel like I’ve been posting way too much on here, so I’m sorry if you’re getting sick of seeing posts by me pop up. But we really want to keep baby’s name a secret from everyone we know in real life until after he’s born, so this is the only way I can get input and you guys have been so incredibly helpful so far.
Anyway, backstory: when me and my SO first started dated there was a character in a show we both love and we both basically said we really loved his name and started saying that whenever we had our firstborn boy that would definitely be his name. Well fast forward a few years later and we are now pregnant with our first boy.
Naturally when we found out we were pregnant we just assumed that that name would be his name if he was a boy, and didn’t really look too deeply into other boys names. But after finding out the baby is indeed a boy, and now it’s REAL, I’m having second thoughts. One of my main issues is the popularity of the name. It’s not super top-10 popular, but it is in the top 400 of boys names, and seems to be climbing rapidly.
But after wading through thousands of name lists there are very few we can agree on, some being even more popular than the original pick. But there is one name we found recently that we both love, is super unique, and we’re now seriously considering it.
So my question is: do we go with the name we have said would be our baby’s name for the past few years, even before actually having babies, or should we go with a new name? I can’t decide if me having second thoughts about the old name is just because I’m very indecisive, or if that’s a sign it’s not meant to be baby’s name. And picking a new name makes me nervous because it isn’t time tested… what if we don’t love it anymore in a few months or years? It’ll be his name for life! Has anyone else been in a similar boat or anything? If you’ve abandoned an old favorite did you have any regret, or maybe the opposite?
And before anyone asks, I purposely left out the names because I want input more on the situation rather than people just picking which name they prefer. Of course if you look back through my other posts you can definitely figure it out, but if there’s anyone who doesn’t remember my previous posts I don’t want the actual names to cloud the judgement of the scenario, if that makes sense. But the names are literally completely different styles. Think bold word name versus old school vintage name.
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I think it’s best to have both names ready for when you go into labor, and then decide once you meet the little guy. Personally, I feel like I’m constantly picking new favourites among my top names, and having that flexibility keeps them feeling fresh. (I don’t want my favourite name(s) to feel stale!)
But if you had to pick one now, I would try making a pro/con list for each, try imagining yelling both names at a playground… and see what middle names work well with them, that might help one name seem like a better option over the other!
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I won’t say clear cut go with one over the other, but if you have loved your old favourite for a while, it’s probably for a reason. That being said, it’s different loving a name and seeing it on an actual child. Think, can you imagine living with a human being with this name, calling them by said name etc. You could try experimenting with other names but always come back to the old favourite as a back-up if nothing else feels right. [name_f]Hope[/name_f] this helps!
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Is baby’s middle name already decided? Could you maybe use one or the other in the middle spot?
I don’t think a new favorite is any less meaningful than an old one and I don’t think you’ll necessarily love it less. It may help if you could still keep the old favorite in the middle though 
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[name_f]My[/name_f] advice to you would be to “test drive” the name you’re considering. In other words, start using it around the house and see how it makes you feel. Then, answer these questions.
Which name is easier to say?
Which name is easier to spell?
How does each name make you feel?
Which name sounds better with your surname?
Which name sounds best with your name & your husband’s name?
Which name meaning do you like best?
Then, use those answers to pick your baby boy’s name! Don’t worry about popularity. I have a very popular name (top 5) and I’ve only met 5 other people with the same name, most of which weren’t the same age as me.
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Wow really?! [name_f]My[/name_f] name is [name_f]Emily[/name_f] and I was always [name_f]Emily[/name_f] M. with like 3 other Emilys in every class growing up, which is why I’ve always wanted more unique names for my own kids. But maybe I’m really overestimating how common the top names actually are. I mean, [name_f]Emily[/name_f] was #1 for like almost 100 years or something, right? So it’s probably a more extreme case than any other name that hits the top 500 list.
[name_f]My[/name_f] parents had a similar story picking my name. They were high school sweet hearts, and went to college together. There was a name in one of the books they read freshman year of college that they both liked and decided they would use it for their first child regardless of gender. Then they had me and made a whole list of names they thought about and weren’t sure about the name they liked in college. In the end they went with the old fav and named me [name_u]Quentin[/name_u] after the book they read in college. I think it’s a really sweet story and it makes me enjoy my name more than if they just picked it out of a baby book. So that’s my perspective!
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Sometimes you love a name in theory or genuinely love it on a child… just not your child.
I have favorites that have been favourites for years and are still special to me but they just are not the name of my children if that makes sense.
I felt guilty to even consider other options during pregnancy when I had been so set on these long time favourites and was so certain I would use them when the time came. It helped me to think about it like I was naming THIS baby not a baby in general and to go with who THIS baby was. I guess what I am saying is this new name has jumped out at you two for some reason and it is ok to change your mind.
If you are instead having doubts about using your longtime favourite and just going through all the options again to reassure yourself of your decision and you have come across this new exciting option, I think it is only fair to give your original pick an equal opportunity to fall in love with it again. What were all the things that attracted you to the name originally? Are those reasons still the same/changed? Does this new name embody the qualities you seek better than the old?
I hope sharing my experience helps you
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I agree with the test drive suggestions above - try saying both names out loud and writing them down next to the surname and see how they each feel that way. I also like the “wait and see” approach - I know this doesn’t always work but sometimes people seem to have a clearer sense of which name to use when they meet the baby.
As far as the theoretical underpinnings of your question though, I honestly can’t see you going wrong either way. I like the narratives of both using the name you’ve loved for years and using the dark horse came-out-of-nowhere name.
I guess since you say the two names are quite different stylistically, one other consideration could be, would one fit better with the other names you like? If most of your other favourites are classics, you might be more likely to be happier in the long run with the classic name than with the bold one-word name, or vice versa. I don’t know if you plan to have any more children after this one but if so, picking the name that’s more in line with most of your preferences might be better in the long run.
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I’d lean toward the old favorite. We had a name like this set out for one kid since waaay before they were actually on the scene—I remember when I actually got pregnant feeling like I had to try out different names, but we went with old faithful 
I also think I’d really have regretted letting it go. Of course that’s colored by my own experience, but that’s my 2 cents, anyway!
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I had my daughters name picked out since before I knew my husband. Let me ask you this, if you never got the option to use the name again would you be sad?
If the answer is yes, then use the name! 
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We went through something similar. I had a boy name picked out forever and was convinced I would name my first son that. When I was eventually pregnant and as we found out that the baby was actually a boy, I no longer felt like it was the right name. It surprised my husband but he came around. I don’t regret not using the original name, BUT if I ever meet a baby with this name I feel a special fondness for it. Try writing the old and new name on display on a paper or whiteboard where you can both get used to seeing it throughout the day, it’ll help you see which one is more appealing to you over all. Don’t feel bad changing your mind about names. Naming a hypothetical baby is different than naming a real one.
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I think you should explore other name options. That way, if you do still keep coming back to your long term love, you’ll know it’s the one
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I agree with this. I find this even more true the more I spend time in Nameberry. Something you said popped out at me…
“But after finding out the baby is indeed a boy, and now it’s REAL, I’m having second thoughts.”
You could always tuck one of the names in a back pocket in case there is another. But having seen some of your other posts I’d stay open to not getting stuck into obligation to either name. But with my first we brainstormed and made short lists all throughout pregnancy. We had a top two contenders and in the end my first borns named ended up being another name that came later on in the pregnancy and took over (honestly I’m not sure how) and then we had second and third pregnancies and those first two contenders are long gone on our affection list.
Pro and Con lists can work great.
Although knowing your two options for you I’m partial to your new fave.
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